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  1. #51
    morose bourgeoisie
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    Quote Originally Posted by PeaceBaby View Post
    Well, you can't change what IS. All you can do is ride the wave and not worry so much if you feel down. Moodiness only becomes a problem when one allows it to impact self-worth or spill it out onto others. So let yourself feel your feelings, then say to yourself: "Hey I am doing OK, in fact I am great! SO I won't worry about feeling a little blue (or scared or frustrated or anxious) at this moment." Then do something Se oriented to soothe you. Smell the roses. Walk barefoot in the cool grass. Take time for a hot shower or bubble bath. Close your eyes and listen to the wind through the leaves. Make cookies. Swing on the swings in the park. All these things rebalance you.

    I read a saying once that whatever you focus your attention on grows. So don't focus on the moodiness, just acknowledge it to honor yourself and move on.
    Beautiful.

  2. #52
    reborn PeaceBaby's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by phthalocyanine View Post
    any advice on an INFP - INFP relationship when one is an enneagram 9 and one is a 4?
    I've been reflecting on this ...

    To a 9-wing, the sense of self-absorption of the 4-wing can seem so ... present. The highs will be high; both of you may be challenged pulling the other out of despair; and the 4-wing, in a continual search for ideal happiness, may overlook what is directly in front of them. The 9-wing will try to minimize any conflict and avoid confrontation - they want to BE perfect too. There will be a LOT of communicating in this pairing I think, but the sharing will be intense!

    I do believe that love transcends type, so if you are right for each other, you will figure out the ways to allow each other to reach personal authenticity and still bond as one. My best wishes.

  3. #53
    Seriously Delirious Udog's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PeaceBaby View Post
    Whew, I feel like this has only scratched the surface. Share your thoughts too - that would be excellent!
    Wow. You did a really good job covering the bases, and I'm not sure if I can really add to it.

    For me, the trick has always been to know what things are flexible, and where I need to stand my ground. Know the bottom line, and be prepared to defend it. However, beyond that give people as much freedom as they desire to add their own personal twist.

    There are smaller things that I can think of. For example, it's better to offer a small reward vs a larger one. If you make the rewards too large, people will only do an action for the reward. Smaller rewards avoid this. Also, I've learned that in general it's better to offer criticism in private and praise in public.

  4. #54
    Senior Member Rhapsody's Avatar
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    I've really been enjoying reading the responses in this thread so far.

    Here's a question: how does one learn to fall in love? (If that doesn't make sense, I'll elaborate).

  5. #55
    Ruler of the Stars Asterion's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by simulatedworld View Post
    Ok when is someone doing one of these threads for ESFP, ENFP, ENFJ, ESFJ, ISFJ, ISTJ, ESTJ, and ENTJ?

    We've gotten through half of them at this point, I believe.
    As of now, I'm doing ENTJ
    5 3 9

  6. #56
    reborn PeaceBaby's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Udog View Post
    Wow. You did a really good job covering the bases, and I'm not sure if I can really add to it.

    For me, the trick has always been to know what things are flexible, and where I need to stand my ground. Know the bottom line, and be prepared to defend it. However, beyond that give people as much freedom as they desire to add their own personal twist.

    There are smaller things that I can think of. For example, it's better to offer a small reward vs a larger one. If you make the rewards too large, people will only do an action for the reward. Smaller rewards avoid this. Also, I've learned that in general it's better to offer criticism in private and praise in public.
    Yes, well said Udog.

    I feel like my hugely elaborate response skirted a simpler answer though. You wanted info on the feather-touch. In my day-to-day, I try to employ happiness, humour and appreciation to smooth the path. That being said, on a personal level, I sometimes do chores myself rather than be naggy, because some things are not really a big deal to me to be naggy about. I do make an effort to stand up for myself, as I know I can be taken advantage of for being "nice" from time to time!

    Every approach has pros & cons, for sure.
    Last edited by PeaceBaby; 06-11-2009 at 09:28 PM.

  7. #57
    reborn PeaceBaby's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Scott N Denver View Post
    Where do we meet our ENF compatriots? What do they like/respect about us? How can we emphasize/display those things more?
    Hmmm, meeting ENF's can be easy - if we can keep up with them, that is! Look for energy - happy & / or driven energy! You'll feel what I call the "click" when you start talking, or you'll share a playful knowing glance. Explore that by talking more, maybe even striking up a conversation. My point being that sometimes we INFP's can't see the forest for the trees - we're so busy being busy in our own minds we don't manage to see what's right in front of us!

    What do ENF's admire about us ... I think that we are caring and even more idealistic (if that's possible...) That we can be demonstratively passionate about a cause or a person or a stance unexpectedly (there is fire in there after all!) That we think they are funny and get their jokes (mostly, everything but Monty Python ... that's an SP thing too LOL!)

    I think just be yourself but be willing to engage more; meeting people in their space will draw them more naturally into yours. Make sure you recharge too, so that you are having fun along the way.

  8. #58
    Senior Member Scott N Denver's Avatar
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    I don't believe that the ENF_ questions have been addressed yet.

    I am waiting for the ideal answer, and as INFP my expectations of ideal are quite high...
    No pressure or anything though

  9. #59
    Senior Member Scott N Denver's Avatar
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    me and my two minute delay, good timing!

  10. #60
    Diabolical Kasper's Avatar
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    Moved from NF Idyllic.

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