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  1. #1
    Rats off to ya! Mort Belfry's Avatar
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    Default Bus Etiquette - Who has it?

    Please fill out the following form and have it on my desk by Monday morning.

    Gender:

    Age:

    1. Chair Sacrifice
    (pick all relevant answers)

    Who do you give your chair up for?

    i. Women
    ii. People (seemingly) over sixty-five
    iii. People (seemingly) over forty
    iv. People with bags
    v. People with children
    vi. Pregnant women
    vii. Fat or awkward people incapable of standing up
    viii. Your own mother

    2. Chair Arresting Tenacity
    (pick one)

    You are standing and a chair opens up. Will you...

    i. ...definitely get that chair through whatever means possible?
    ii. ...put up a decent fight to get the chair?
    iii. ...get the chair if no one else is looking?
    iv. ...offer the seat to someone else hoping they'll say no so you can take it?
    v. ...only take the seat if no one else wants it?
    vi. ...definitely lose the seat if there are rivals?
    vi. ...never sit down anyway because of painful haemorrhoids?

    3. Strategic Stop Manoeuvres
    (pick one)

    If you are standing and potentially blocking the path of people looking to get off, do you...

    i. ...keep a vigilant eye on people rustling like they're about to leave so to dive out the way as quickly as possible?
    ii. ...remain oblivious to everyone until they meekly tap you on the shoulder and ask to pass?

    4. Moving down
    (pick one)

    If you are standing and the bus starts to get crowded, do you...

    i. ...instinctively move down to the back of the bus even if it means being obstructed when getting off later?
    ii. ...only move down when asked?
    iii. ...hug the area close to the door and get into an argument with anyone who asks you to move down?

    5. Attitude
    (pick one)

    Do you...

    i. ...hate everyone on the bus?
    ii. ...have total indifference to the people on the bus?
    iii. ...value the people on the bus as equal humans?
    iv. ...love the people on the bus?
    v. ...molest the people on the bus?
    Why do we always come here?

    I guess we'll never know.

    It's like a kind of torture,
    To have to watch this show.

  2. #2
    Senior Member bluebell's Avatar
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    Default

    I'm procrastinating cooking dinner.

    Gender: F

    Age: mid 30s

    1. Chair Sacrifice
    (pick all relevant answers)

    Who do you give your chair up for?

    ii. People (seemingly) over sixty-five
    v. People with children
    vi. Pregnant women

    2. Chair Tenacity
    (pick one)

    You are standing and a chair opens up. Will you...

    iii. ...get the chair if no one else is looking?
    iv. ...offer the seat to someone else hoping they'll say no so you can take it?

    3. Strategic Stop Manoeuvres
    (pick one)

    If you are standing and potentially blocking the path of people looking to get off, do you...

    i. ...keep a vigilant eye on people rustling like they're about to leave so to dive out the way as quickly as possible?
    ii. ...remain oblivious to everyone until they meekly tap you on the shoulder and ask to pass?

    4. Moving down
    (pick one)

    If you are standing and the bus starts to get crowded, do you...

    i. ...instinctively move down to the back of the bus even if it means being obstructed when getting off later? [btw, this really shits me, so hard to get out of the bus when it's absolutely packed full]

    5. Attitude
    (pick one)

    Do you...

    i. ...hate everyone on the bus?
    ii. ...have total indifference to the people on the bus?
    ...so much smoke pouring out of each chromosome.

  3. #3
    Rats off to ya! Mort Belfry's Avatar
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    Default

    My own answers:

    Gender: Male
    Age: 25

    1: ii: People (seemingly) over sixty-five
    vi: Pregnant women
    viii: Your own mother

    2: ii ...put up a decent fight to get the chair

    3: i ...keep a vigilant eye on people rustling like they're about to leave so to dive out the way as quickly as possible

    4: i ...instinctively move down to the back of the bus even if it means being obstructed when getting off later

    5: i. ...hate everyone on the bus
    Why do we always come here?

    I guess we'll never know.

    It's like a kind of torture,
    To have to watch this show.

  4. #4
    Rats off to ya! Mort Belfry's Avatar
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by bluebell View Post
    i. ...instinctively move down to the back of the bus even if it means being obstructed when getting off later? [btw, this really shits me, so hard to get out of the bus when it's absolutely packed full]
    I know, it's times like that you realise why people need machetes in the jungle - which would be a lot of fun on the bus.
    Why do we always come here?

    I guess we'll never know.

    It's like a kind of torture,
    To have to watch this show.

  5. #5
    Diabolical Kasper's Avatar
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    Default

    This seems like an easy way to kill time.

    1. Chair Sacrifice
    Who do you give your chair up for?

    ii. People (seemingly) over sixty-five <- sure but people are pretty quick on this one around here and there are usually a half-dozen others jumping up to give them a seat.
    v. People with children <-- babies/toddlers not in a stroller needing to sit on someone's lap then yes, older children can stand.
    vi. Pregnant women <-- yes.
    vii. Fat or awkward people incapable of standing up <-- if they're incapable of standing up why are they on a bus? Someone with a broken leg or something, yes.
    viii. Your own mother <-- yes.

    2. Chair Arresting Tenacity
    You are standing and a chair opens up. Will you...

    ii. ...put up a decent fight to get the chair?

    3. Strategic Stop Manoeuvres
    If you are standing and potentially blocking the path of people looking to get off, do you...

    i. ...keep a vigilant eye on people rustling like they're about to leave so to dive out the way as quickly as possible?

    I don't want them touching me!

    4. Moving down
    If you are standing and the bus starts to get crowded, do you...

    iv. ...find a strategic location that allows me a quick way off the bus but without giving anyone else the opportunity to push me along.

    5. Attitude
    Do you...

    vi. ...view all people on the bus as escaped criminals who would steal my belongings and beat me to a pulp if given half a chance.

  6. #6
    Senior Member bluebell's Avatar
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    Default

    Or.... I coulda just waited for Trin to post hers and go me too.
    ...so much smoke pouring out of each chromosome.

  7. #7
    Rats off to ya! Mort Belfry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Trinity View Post
    vi. ...view all people on the bus as escaped criminals who would steal my belongings and beat me to a pulp if given half a chance.

    Yes, yes. I should have a section on paranoia. It doesn't matter if the person standing next to me is a frail, glad wrap collecting, biscuit chewing, dear old bint I will ALWAYS tap my pocket to make sure my wallet hasn't disappeard.
    Why do we always come here?

    I guess we'll never know.

    It's like a kind of torture,
    To have to watch this show.

  8. #8
    Emerging Tallulah's Avatar
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    Default

    Gender: F

    Age: mid 30s

    1. Chair Sacrifice
    (pick all relevant answers)

    Who do you give your chair up for?


    ii. People (seemingly) over sixty-five
    iv. People with bags
    vi. Pregnant women
    vii. Fat or awkward people incapable of standing up
    viii. Your own mother

    2. Chair Arresting Tenacity
    (pick one)

    You are standing and a chair opens up. Will you...


    ii. ...put up a decent fight to get the chair?

    (but offer the seat to anyone in the categories above first)


    3. Strategic Stop Manoeuvres
    (pick one)

    If you are standing and potentially blocking the path of people looking to get off, do you...

    i. ...keep a vigilant eye on people rustling like they're about to leave so to dive out the way as quickly as possible?


    4. Moving down
    (pick one)

    If you are standing and the bus starts to get crowded, do you...

    i. ...instinctively move down to the back of the bus even if it means being obstructed when getting off later?
    ii. ...only move down when asked?

    Depends on how accommodating I'm feeling, and how close I am to my stop.

    5. Attitude
    (pick one)

    Do you...

    i. ...hate everyone on the bus?
    ii. ...have total indifference to the people on the bus?

    Depends on my mood.
    Something Witty

  9. #9
    Diabolical Kasper's Avatar
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by bluebell View Post
    Or.... I coulda just waited for Trin to post hers and go me too.


    Quote Originally Posted by Mort Belfry View Post
    Yes, yes. I should have a section on paranoia. It doesn't matter if the person standing next to me is a frail, glad wrap collecting, biscuit chewing, dear old bint I will ALWAYS tap my pocket to make sure my wallet hasn't disappeard.
    smart man, just be sure to make the pocket tap subtle or you'll let that sneaky, poodle kicking, girl scout biscuit stealing, old biddy know which pocket you keep it in.

    Ignore the obvious racist tones that go with anything written on a site called 'news-of-interest-to-white-people' but; Bus attack. It's pretty effed up.

  10. #10
    RETIRED CzeCze's Avatar
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    Default

    Gender: F

    Age: Never ask a lady that!!! :steam:

    1. Chair Sacrifice
    (pick all relevant answers)

    Who do you give your chair up for?

    i. women ? Dude, that's me. No.
    ii. People (seemingly) over sixty-five i.e. they look like senior citizens or like they need the seat more than me
    iv. People with bags if they look overencumbered or are interfering with the flow of foot traffic
    vi. Pregnant women
    viii. Your own mother

    2. Chair Arresting Tenacity
    (pick one)

    You are standing and a chair opens up. Will you...

    If I really want to sit
    ii. ...put up a decent fight to get the chair?

    If it would be nice to sit, but noncommital
    v. ...only take the seat if no one else wants it?


    3. Strategic Stop Manoeuvres
    (pick one)

    If you are standing and potentially blocking the path of people looking to get off, do you...

    i. ...keep a vigilant eye on people rustling like they're about to leave so to dive out the way as quickly as possible?

    I HATE peopel who can't get out of the freaking way!?!?!?!

    4. Moving down
    (pick one)

    If you are standing and the bus starts to get crowded, do you...

    In rush hour, the bus/train gets crowded no matter what and you will have to fight a little to get off, so it doesn't really matter if you move further down or not. I've been on busses and trains that were so packed, a lot of people have to get off so just to make way for people to get off and then they get back on

    i. ...instinctively move down to the back of the bus even if it means being obstructed when getting off later?

    If my stop is coming up next, I will do this and let people walk around me. No arguing, I'm lithe, I can make room.

    iii. ...hug the area close to the door and get into an argument with anyone who asks you to move down?

    5. Attitude
    (pick one)

    Do you...

    Somewhere in the middle
    ii. ...have total indifference to the people on the bus?
    iii. ...value the people on the bus as equal humans?


    Mort, did we have a bad day on public transportation again?

    BTW, one thing I can't stand about DC is that no one knows how to use motherfreaking public transportation!?!?!?! GET OUTTA THE WAY. Share. Stop acting like anyone owes you a seat to yourself.
    “If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.” ― Oscar Wilde

    "I'm outtie 5000" ― Romulux

    Johari/Nohari

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