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  1. #21
    Senior Member Sahara's Avatar
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    This got sent to me today lol

    One sunny afternoon Superman was out flying around. Crime was slow that day, so he decided to go over to Spiderman's house. Supe: "Hey Spidey, let's go get a burger and a beer!". Spidey: "No can do, Supe. I've got a problem with my Web-shooter. Can't fight crime tomorrow without it". So Superman heads over to the Bat Cave to see what's up. Supe: "Hey, Batman! Let's go get a burger and a beer!". Batman: "Not today, my friend. My BatMobile is down and it must be fixed today. Can't fight crime tomorrow without it". Disgruntled, Superman takes to the air, cruising around the skies when he flies over a penthouse apartment. And what to his SuperVision does he see, but none other than WonderWoman, lying on the deck, spread-eagle, stark-naked! Supe gets a brilliant idea: "They've always said I'm faster than a speeding bullet and I've always wondered what she'd be like with all her Wonder Powers". So he zzoooooommms down and does her in a flash and is gone before anyone can notice. All of a sudden WonderWoman sits up and says, "What was that!?!". Then the Invisible Man gets off her and replies, "I don't know but it hurt like hell!"
    "No one can be free of the chains that surround them"

  2. #22
    Oberon
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    Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a hot tub?

    A: Stu.

  3. #23
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by oberon67 View Post
    Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a hot tub?
    A: Stu.
    Did you meet him at the party at the Leper Colony?

    Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a lake?
    A: Bob

    Q: What do you call a woman with only one leg?
    A: Eileen.

    Q: What do you call two men with no arms and legs in a window?
    A: Curt 'n Rod
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  4. #24
    Oberon
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    What if the guy with no arms and legs is in a pile of leaves?

    ...wait for it...

  5. #25
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Why Cucumbers are better than INTPs
    1. Cucumbers will not overrun your credit limit buying used books.
    2. Cucumbers will not critique your salad-making methodology when you go to slice and dice them.
    3. Cucumbers show more overt interest in your sexual needs.
    4. You can keep cucumbers in your refrigerator for a long time, without them going bad.
    5. When cucumbers get old and sour, they just become pickles.
    6. Cucumbers will not hog your Internet connection.
    7. Even if cucumbers don't believe in God, they won't doodle on their church bulletins or criticize every logic fart in the pastor's sermon.
    8. Cucumbers are never distracted at those crucial moments by the mysteries of the universe.
    9. Cucumbers are more decisive.
    10. Cucumbers do not brag about their intelligence, even if they happen to be smarter than you.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  6. #26
    Protocol Droid Athenian200's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    Why Cucumbers are better than INTPs
    1. Cucumbers will not overrun your credit limit buying used books.
    2. Cucumbers will not critique your salad-making methodology when you go to slice and dice them.
    3. Cucumbers show more overt interest in your sexual needs.
    4. You can keep cucumbers in your refrigerator for a long time, without them going bad.
    5. When cucumbers get old and sour, they just become pickles.
    6. Cucumbers will not hog your Internet connection.
    7. Even if cucumbers don't believe in God, they won't doodle on their church bulletins or criticize every logic fart in the pastor's sermon.
    8. Cucumbers are never distracted at those crucial moments by the mysteries of the universe.
    9. Cucumbers are more decisive.
    10. Cucumbers do not brag about their intelligence, even if they happen to be smarter than you.
    Why all the self-deprecating humor? Are you feeling critical of yourself?

  7. #27
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by athenian200 View Post
    Why all the self-deprecating humor? Are you feeling critical of yourself?
    Why Cucumbers are Better than INFJs
    1. Cucumbers are more jovial.
    2. Cucumbers don't take life so seriously.
    3. Cucumbers won't yell at you for potentially hurting someone's feelings.
    4. Cucumbers are flexible, if you want to bend them.
    5. Cucumbers aren't afraid to bare their innermost worlds to complete strangers.
    6. Cucumbers don't think they're morally better than tomatoes or croutons.
    7. Cucumbers would let down their hair if they had any.
    8. Cucumbers are willing to go on any salad you put them on.
    9. Cucumbers tell you what they are thinking when you ask them.
    10. Cucumbers don't misinterpret people's humor for things it is not.


    See? Not as funny... and now I'm sure I've offended SOMEONE...! next question?
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  8. #28
    Protocol Droid Athenian200's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    Why Cucumbers are Better than INFJs
    1. Cucumbers are more jovial.
    2. Cucumbers don't take life so seriously.
    3. Cucumbers won't yell at you for potentially hurting someone's feelings.
    4. Cucumbers are flexible, if you want to bend them.
    5. Cucumbers aren't afraid to bare their innermost worlds to complete strangers.
    6. Cucumbers don't think they're morally better than tomatoes or croutons.
    7. Cucumbers would let down their hair if they had any.
    8. Cucumbers are willing to go on any salad you put them on.
    9. Cucumbers tell you what they are thinking when you ask them.
    10. Cucumbers don't misinterpret people's humor for things it is not.


    See? Not as funny... and now I'm sure I've offended SOMEONE...! next question?
    You apparently didn't get the joke implicit in my previous comment. I asked an INTP if she was critical of herself. That's a silly question, because with a dominant analytical function, they are probably critical of everything, including themselves. Oh, well, at least this is the LAME joke thread. If this thread were for half-decent jokes, then this would be a problem.

  9. #29
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by athenian200 View Post
    You apparently didn't get the joke implicit in my previous comment. I asked an INTP if she was critical of herself. That's a silly question, because with a dominant analytical function, they are probably critical of everything, including themselves. Oh, well, at least this is the LAME joke thread. If this thread were for half-decent jokes, then this would be a problem.
    ha... I was wondering if you were joking, based on what you have relayed of your humor in the past. I was partly taking you at face value, and partly testing.

    (You are SO dry, though! It's hard to read even when I know it's coming.)
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  10. #30
    Glowy Goopy Goodness The_Liquid_Laser's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zergling View Post
    Where do "commute" and "Abelian" do together?
    Don't you know that explaining jokes makes them less funny? Well I warned you that this is the least funny joke ever made, so in an attempt to make the least funny joke in the world even less funny, here is the explanation:

    Abelian group - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
    My wife and I made a game to teach kids about nutrition. Please try our game and vote for us to win. (Voting period: July 14 - August 14)
    http://www.revoltingvegetables.com

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