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  1. #11
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    Q. How do you fit five Jews and five Nazis in a Volkswagen Beetle?

    A. Three Nazis in the back two Nazis in the front and five Jews in the Ashtray.

  2. #12
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by athenian200 View Post
    Don't you all just want to throw vegetables at me?
    They were definitely bad enough for me to want to toss my salad.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  3. #13
    Oberon
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    That reminds me...

    A traveling salesman walks up onto a farmer's porch one evening at suppertime, where the farmer meets him at the door. As he's preparing his speech, the salesman notices the farmer's dog sitting at the far end of the porch licking his gonads.

    Momentarily taken aback, the salesman says "Boy, I sure wish I could do that."

    "Naw, he'd bite you," said the farmer.

  4. #14
    Dhampyr Economica's Avatar
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    This isn't a lame joke but a quality exchange overheard at a party:

    Man: Compared to men, women are so dependent and conformist.
    Woman: Simone de Beauvoir says that men who demean women are insecure of their sexuality.
    Man: Why aren't there more women like Simone de Beauvoir?

  5. #15
    Senior Member Noel's Avatar
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    So Mozart walks outside of his house to feed the chickens in the back. Upon reaching them, in a rhetorical manner, proclaims, "Who is the greatest composer in the world"?! The chickens reply, "BACH"!

  6. #16
    Protocol Droid Athenian200's Avatar
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    Friend: These WAV files are really big. I wish I could make them smaller.
    Myself: You need to use LAME to encode them
    Friend: What? That's unethical. I can't abuse lame people to force them to compress files.
    Myself: No, LAME. Lame ain't an MP3 encoder?
    Friend: Of course they're not MP3 encoders, you monster.
    Myself: It is an MP3 encoder.
    Friend: Oh, now you're calling them 'it', and claiming that their only purpose? How could you?
    Myself: It is an MP3 encoder, but it's name is an acronym that implies it isn't. It's funny because it's a paradox.
    Friend: Yeah? I think it's sick that you make fun of cripples by making an acronym out of them.
    Myself: Nevermind. Why don't you just purchase the Fraunhofer encoder?
    Friend: I will, actually. That's better than supporting your slavery of cripples.
    Myself: *sigh*

  7. #17
    Oberon
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    Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs, hanging on the wall?

    A: Art.

  8. #18
    Glowy Goopy Goodness The_Liquid_Laser's Avatar
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    Warning: You are about to read the least funny joke ever created.

    Q: What is purple and commutes?

    A: An Abelian grape.
    My wife and I made a game to teach kids about nutrition. Please try our game and vote for us to win. (Voting period: July 14 - August 14)
    http://www.revoltingvegetables.com

  9. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by The_Liquid_Laser View Post
    Warning: You are about to read the least funny joke ever created.

    Q: What is purple and commutes?

    A: An Abelian grape.
    Where do "commute" and "Abelian" do together?

  10. #20
    The Unwieldy Clawed One Falcarius's Avatar
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    My computer got the Freudian Virus the other day. It made my computer becomes obsessed with it's own motherboard, and it also has become very jealous of the size of my friend's hard drive.
    Quote Originally Posted by Thalassa View Post
    Oh our 3rd person reference to ourselves denotes nothing more than we realize we are epic characters on the forum.

    Narcissism, plain and simple.

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