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  1. #151

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    Quote Originally Posted by The_Liquid_Laser View Post
    Oh well that's better. I've been waiting about a day and a half to laugh at that joke.
    lolfr
    By the way, I'm the girl in the picture, lol.... happily married though, so don't even...

  2. #152

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    What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?


    "Juan on Juan"
    By the way, I'm the girl in the picture, lol.... happily married though, so don't even...

  3. #153
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    What do you call a white guy in a room with a black guy?
    The lawyer.

    What do you call a white guy in a room with two black guys?
    The victim.

    What do you call a white guy in a room with five black guys?
    The coach.

    What do you call a white guy in a room with 200 black guys?
    The warden.

  4. #154
    Senior Member Sahara's Avatar
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    Hitler and Goring are standing on top of Berlin's radio tower. Hitler says he wants to do something to cheer up the people of Berlin. "Why don't you just jump?" suggests Goring...
    "No one can be free of the chains that surround them"

  5. #155
    The elder Holmes Mycroft's Avatar
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    The Lamest Joke of Them All:

    Two men walk into a bar. They both say "Ouch".
    Dost thou love Life? Then do not squander Time; for that's the Stuff Life is made of.

    -- Benjamin Franklin, Poor Richard's Almanack, June 1746 --

  6. #156
    Senior Member Recluse's Avatar
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    No, mine is lamer:

    Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?

    Because it was dead.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    I didn't say that I didn't say it. I said that I didn't say that I said it. I want to make that very clear.

  7. #157

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    Why can't bicycles stand up on their own?

    Because they're two tired!

  8. #158

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    Okay, for the record, I am a Bush-supporter... but this is still kinda funny to me, just for the punny-ness of it all...

    Where does Bush keep his armies?












    In his sleevies.
    By the way, I'm the girl in the picture, lol.... happily married though, so don't even...

  9. #159
    Strongly Ambivalent Ivy's Avatar
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    That reminds me of one of my favorite groaners of all time!

    A little boy dresses up as a pirate for halloween. He walks up to a house and the woman gives him a pack of Smarties and says "Ohhh, what a cute little pirate! But where are your buccaneers?" He looks at her quizzically and replies, "On my buckin' head."

    Oh now I need to find more pirate jokes-- they are always the best lame jokes.
    The one who buggers a fire burns his penis
    -anonymous graffiti in the basilica at Pompeii

  10. #160
    Strongly Ambivalent Ivy's Avatar
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    My other favorite pirate joke:

    Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the waves, a captain and his crew were in danger of being boarded by a pirate ship. As the crew became frantic, the captain bellowed to his First Mate, "Bring me my red shirt!". The First Mate quickly retrieved the captain's red shirt, which the captain put on and lead the crew to battle the pirate boarding party. Although some casualties occurred among the crew, the pirates were repelled.

    Later that day, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate vessels sending boarding parties. The crew cowered in fear, but the captain calm as ever bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt!". The battle was on, and once again the Captain and his crew repelled both boarding parties, although this time more casualties occurred.

    Weary from the battles, the men sat around on deck that night recounting the day's occurrences when an ensign looked to the Captain and asked, "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before the battle?". The Captain, giving the ensign a look that only a captain can give, exhorted, "If I am wounded in battle, the red shirt does not show the wound and thus, you men will continue to fight unafraid". The men sat in silence marveling at the courage of such a man.

    As dawn came the next morning, the lookout screamed that there were pirate ships, 10 of them, all with boarding parties on their way. The men became silent and looked to their Captain for his usual command. The Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, "Bring me my brown pants!!
    The one who buggers a fire burns his penis
    -anonymous graffiti in the basilica at Pompeii

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