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  1. #91
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    The laws of thermodnamics:

    0. You must play the game (Temperatures are equal at thermal equilibrium)
    1. You can't win, you can only break even (conservation of energy)
    2. You can't break even (entropy increases in closed systems)
    3. You can't get out of the game. (entropy is either 0 or some other lowest value at absolute zero temperature.)



    Quote Originally Posted by Veneti
    Comprehending Accountants - Take One

    Two accountancy students were walking across campus when one said,
    "Where did you get such a great bike?"
    The second accountant replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday
    Minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the
    Bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want."
    The second accountant nodded approvingly, "Good choice; the clothes probably
    wouldn't have fit."


    Comprehending Accountants - Take Three

    To the optimist, the glass is half full.
    To the pessimist, the glass is half empty.
    To the accountant, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
    I've heard these two, but with engineers instead of accountants.

  2. #92
    Senior Member Veneti's Avatar
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    This is an in joke for us IT programme development types...


    Five cannibals get appointed as programmers in an IT company.

    During the welcoming ceremony the boss says: "You're all part of
    our team now. You can earn good money here, and you can go to the
    company canteen for something to eat. So don't trouble the other
    employees".The cannibals promise not to trouble the other employees.

    Four weeks later the boss returns and says: "You're all working
    very hard, and I'm very satisfied with all of you. One of our
    cleaners has disappeared however. Do any of you know what happened to her?"
    The cannibals disavow all knowledge of the missing cleaner.

    After the boss has left, the leader of the cannibals says to the
    others: "Which of you idiots ate the cleaner?". A hand raises
    hesitantly, to which the leader of the cannibals says: "You
    fool! For four weeks we've been eating Team Leaders, Managers, and Project
    Managers so no-one would notice anything, and you have to go and
    eat the cleaner!"

  3. #93
    Senior Member Veneti's Avatar
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    Steve & Mike were drinking buddies who worked as airplane mechanics at
    Gatwick Airport . One day the airport was fogged in and they were stuck in
    the hangar with nothing to do.
    Steve said, "Man, I wish we had something to drink!"
    Mike says, "Me too. Y'know, I've heard you can drink jet fuel and get a
    buzz. You wanna try it?"
    So they pour themselves a couple of glasses of high octane hooch and get
    completely smashed.
    The next morning Steve wakes up and is surprised at how good he feels. In
    fact he feels GREAT! NO hangover! NO bad side effects. Nothing!
    Then the phone rings...It's Mike.
    Mike says, "Hey, how do you feel this morning?"
    Steve says, "I feel great. How about you?"
    Mike says, "I feel great, too. You don't have a hangover?"
    Steve says, "No, that jet fuel is great stuff - no hangover, nothing. we
    ought to do this more often."
    "Yeah, well there's just one thing..."
    "What's that?"
    "Have you farted yet?"
    "No, why?."
    "Well, DON'T, cause I'm in Glasgow

  4. #94
    Glowy Goopy Goodness The_Liquid_Laser's Avatar
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    LMAO, Veneti those jokes are great!
    My wife and I made a game to teach kids about nutrition. Please try our game and vote for us to win. (Voting period: July 14 - August 14)
    http://www.revoltingvegetables.com

  5. #95
    Protocol Droid Athenian200's Avatar
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    Cheesy type descriptions:

    Fi -- The Moody function
    Ti -- The Nitpicking function
    Fe -- The Moralizing function
    Te -- The Blunt function
    Se -- The Daredevil function
    Si -- The Routine function
    Ne -- The Chaotic function
    Ni -- The Supersitious function

  6. #96
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    Actually, Se is more prone to superstitions because of repressed Ni. And actually, Te is more concerned with morals.

    In terms of Freudian concepts, I'd say that N is the id function, S is the ego function, and T and F are the superego functions.

  7. #97
    Protocol Droid Athenian200's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Uberfuhrer View Post
    Actually, Se is more prone to superstitions because of repressed Ni. And actually, Te is more concerned with morals.

    In terms of Freudian concepts, I'd say that N is the id function, S is the ego function, and T and F are the superego functions.
    Really? Then explain your own typical behavior...
    But as far as I know, the only moral that Te holds is that of efficiency and truth. Where did you get that idea?

  8. #98
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    Morality is subjective.

    Te is concerned with morals and principles, Fe is concerned with political correctness (not offending others).

  9. #99
    Senior Member Sahara's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Uberfuhrer View Post
    Morality is subjective.

    Te is concerned with morals and principles, Fe is concerned with political correctness (not offending others).

    Does the ENFP have Fe? because the few I know are not PC at all nor do they care if they offend others. One enjoys going from account to account on myspace and insulting the looks of people on there, which isn't very nice is it.

    The other ones I know have no worry about debating pc subjects, and saying it like it is.
    "No one can be free of the chains that surround them"

  10. #100
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sahara View Post
    Does the ENFP have Fe? because the few I know are not PC at all nor do they care if they offend others. One enjoys going from account to account on myspace and insulting the looks of people on there, which isn't very nice is it.

    The other ones I know have no worry about debating pc subjects, and saying it like it is.
    The ENFP has Fi. So s(he) enjoys doing things for personal pleasure.

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