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Thread: FEMALES!!!

  1. #91
    Senior Member Maabus1999's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 01011010 View Post
    Crazy lesbians spewing emotional drama everywhere, is the exact reason I don't hang in the gay scene. I find them far more volatile, than my straight (xx) nerdy friends.
    Just imagine all the books/columns you could write though!

  2. #92
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    there's drama anywhere that girls are but gay chicks aren't catty from my experience.

    i hate catty unless it's just bein silly
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  3. #93
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    Quote Originally Posted by Maabus1999 View Post
    Just imagine all the books/columns you could write though!
    Why would I want to do that? lol No, thanks. I like my life as stress free as possible. Just because I'm gay, doesn't mean I will put up with crazy people just to feel some sense of camaraderie or whatever. My lesbian friends have the same qualities, as all the other people I let close to me. The lesbians that are not in the scene, seem to be completely different. So, I'm not referring to those people.

  4. #94
    Senior Member Anja's Avatar
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    I just came from a gay coffee house and it was mellow.

    But I've been around radical lesbians who are about the angriest people on the face of the earth. Eekers.
    "No ray of sunshine is ever lost, but the green which it awakes into existence needs time to sprout, and it is not always granted to the sower to see the harvest. All work that is worth anything is done in faith." - Albert Schweitzer

  5. #95
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    Quote Originally Posted by Anja View Post
    I just came from a gay coffee house and it was mellow.

    But I've been around radical lesbians who are about the angriest people on the face of the earth. Eekers.
    Most people have a sense of decorum in public.

    The 2nd date u-haul joke, and the term "dyke drama" exists for a reason. No sane person moves in with another, within a month or two of dating. Then, wreaks havoc on each other later because they find out they aren't a match, but are stuck in a lease together. Every single lesbian I've known (except for two NTs) have done it. That has to be at least 50 lesbians I've been personally acquainted with, at one time or another. I've been out and gay for 10 years. So, I've had more than my fair share of witnessing the crazy. Many do it time and time again. No matter the age, or where they're at in life. After 7 years, I decided to keep myself as far away from the scene as possible.

    Drinking too much. Substance abuse. Emotional and psychological instability from being a marginalized group? Stabbing long time friends in the back for a girl. Musical, incestuous (sex and relationship) chairs between a group of friends. Codependency and staying with a partner long after lesbian bed death has seeped in. Many remedy by cheating on the sly. Not using protection or getting tested because they still believe in the myth of low STD contraction. I get humans do all that in general, but many lesbians seem to magnify the issues to ridiculous proportions.

  6. #96
    Senior Member FantailedWall's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CzeCze View Post
    Straight girls are funny.

    If you don't like that kind of cattiness and such, roll with the lezzies. We're a pretty easy-going and accepting bunch.

    Oh, and don't live in a house full of women.
    Hell yes we are. Though really I'm only....half-way there

    Quote Originally Posted by 01011010 View Post
    Most people have a sense of decorum in public.

    The 2nd date u-haul joke, and the term "dyke drama" exists for a reason. No sane person moves in with another, within a month or two of dating. Then, wreaks havoc on each other later because they find out they aren't a match, but are stuck in a lease together. Every single lesbian I've known (except for two NTs) have done it. That has to be at least 50 lesbians I've been personally acquainted with, at one time or another. I've been out and gay for 10 years. So, I've had more than my fair share of witnessing the crazy. Many do it time and time again. No matter the age, or where they're at in life. After 7 years, I decided to keep myself as far away from the scene as possible.

    Drinking too much. Substance abuse. Emotional and psychological instability from being a marginalized group? Stabbing long time friends in the back for a girl. Musical, incestuous (sex and relationship) chairs between a group of friends. Codependency and staying with a partner long after lesbian bed death has seeped in. Many remedy by cheating on the sly. Not using protection or getting tested because they still believe in the myth of low STD contraction. I get humans do all that in general, but many lesbians seem to magnify the issues to ridiculous proportions.
    Jeez-us. Are bisexuals included in this pleasant perspective of being gay-and-female?

    And FWIW, I've generally found my gay male friends to be much more inclined towards drama than the female ones.
    Perhaps it's just the gay boys into musical theatre that are mucho D queens...

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    Quote Originally Posted by FantailedWall View Post
    Jeez-us. Are bisexuals included in this pleasant perspective of being gay-and-female?

    And FWIW, I've generally found my gay male friends to be much more inclined towards drama than the female ones. Perhaps it's just the gay boys into musical theatre that are mucho D queens...
    Yes, and no. Bisexuals that identify themselves as completely lesbian after awhile would apply, if they get involved with certain types of lesbians. Then there are bisexuals that leave it behind altogether, or those that stay on the fringe (making their own rules).

    There are quite a few lesbians that are outright bi-phobic. You will see discrimination the longer and more exposed you become. I think it's an issue of both gay and straight people. Many on both sides seem to see it as a transition state. Yet, some lesbians will be openminded. I myself do not care if a woman is bisexual, but I know many that do. Hence, why alot of bisexuals don't assimilate into lesbian culture if they remain true to that label. By proxy, the stereotypes as well.

    As for what you quoted, I'm mostly referring to lesbians in the gay scene. The kind that define their life by being lesbian. Down to clothes, hangouts, and having a majority of gay only friends.

    Most lesbians are more low maintenance in superficial ways. Appearance, clothing, and lifestyle. Rarely the typical girly girl, but it's the emotional aspect that's more high maintenance than normal. Once you're in a lesbian inner circle for a decent amount of time, you will see what I'm talking about.

    For the record, I'm not stating this as absolute. Yet, I've observed and been involved with the community to varying extents, over the last 10 years. Patterns are patterns, and stereotypes exist in this case, with an overwhelming amount of evidence to back it up.

    That doesn't mean you shouldn't get involved. There are plenty of chill lesbians, but not usually in the scene specifically.

  8. #98
    RETIRED CzeCze's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by erinavery View Post
    there's drama anywhere that girls are but gay chicks aren't catty from my experience.
    Yes, this is what I meant - lesbians are not catty or rather the queer female scene doesn't really 'do' catty.

    Quote Originally Posted by 01011010 View Post
    [Not selling the lesbian lifestyle]
    But are we catty?

    Srsly, 01001! Why are you putting our ass on blast when I'm trying to convert the good women in here? We are never going to win any toaster ovens like this!!

    LOL.

    Okay for realz, I agree there's a lot of drama in lesbian circles, but mostly relationship wise.

    U-haul thing :cringe:
    People staying together in relationships that they have no business staying in because they don't even seem to like each other that much. :cringe:
    Recycling lovers :cringe: x3

    BTW, you forgot 'sexless girlfriends' - you don't even get to experience bed death or a bonafide relationship with them!

    But I also think 'the scene' depends a lot on your city, your age, and the kinds of scenes available. In DC there are a lot of pretty sober, even "square" lesbians with government, academic, professional, etc. jobs who are pretty stable and level-headed.

    I used to be an organizer and fill leadership positions in LGBT orgs and I go out regularly (weekly) to queer events and parties and am still connected informally to queer organizations - my lifestyle is pretty lezzie-centric and my from my standpoint, people in my own spheres are pretty sane, even boring. I have a very high tolerance for drama, though so my standards may be skewed?

    There are definitely bad apples and for whatever reasons, women with serious emotional issues seem to get folded into the lesbian scene and camp out. I've seen and heard and met some inducing lezzies, yeah I'll say that!

    I agree with our Aussie friend that drama in terms of substance abuse and creeping around is more prevalent in gay male circles. I think partly because they have the numbers and disposable income to fund the club scene. I have never seen cocaine use in the lesbian bars but that and 'huffing' is a matter of course in the gay men's joints and circuit parties, etc. I honestly couldn't even get a hold of harder drugs through my 'lesbian network' if I tried.

    Not trying to throw the 'blame' to gay men, but just that our drama is different.
    “If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.” ― Oscar Wilde

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  9. #99
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    Quote Originally Posted by CzeCze View Post
    But are we catty?
    What would you categorize bi and trans-phobia as?

    I know plenty of catty lesbians. I have yet to date one that wasn't to some extent. Lesbians evaluate, insult, and gossip just like most other women. Now, I will state conventionally beautiful lesbians are more prone to that behavior on a regular basis, than the others. Add wealth, success, and opportunity to increase the likelihood to a greater level.

    The real question is, are lesbians catty in an environment where they're the minority; or with people that might look down on it?

    Lesbians seem to possess a wider range of acceptance (outside society standards) in the looks department, and with becoming involved in interracial relationships. Career, income, and cultural/religious differences can be overlooked more than normal. Lesbians are generally lower maintenance. Yet, that doesn't negate catty behavior happens all the time.

  10. #100
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    you're right...i didn't look at it that way. i have seen that kind of cattiness. and gay boys an be catty like that with each other too.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

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