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Thread: Diamond Rings

  1. #1
    Senior Member ptgatsby's Avatar
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    Default Diamond Rings

    Right, so I'm planning ahead and getting ready to get engaged. I was going to put this on my blog but realised that I was curious what I'd get back... and lets face it, my blog is a rant zone of desert dry, boring posts. No one goes there to respond


    So, here it is. Justify the decision to buy a diamond engagement ring.

    I have serious moral issues with buying diamonds. I have issues with why they are popular, how they are mined, how they are endorsed, how they lack any personal symbolism, are nothing more than status beacons... and a particular moral tragedy for me - how much they cost and how little value they retain.

    I've already talked about it with my GF and worked out what we are going to do. She turned down my giant gold statue, unfortunately, and insisted it be a ring.

    I am, however, still curious about how one justifies buying a diamond engagement ring.

    So, how do you?

  2. #2
    shoshaku jushaku rivercrow's Avatar
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    Diamonds are absolutely beautiful. They're shiny and gorgeous. Especially when set in platinum.

    History. Sure, they're associated with horrible things. So are other things.

    Clarity and purity. Marriage will push you though turmoil and pressure and a tumble of emotions.

    You can go justify this if you want. When I was younger, diamonds meant little. As I got older, I understood.
    Who rises in the morning, looks in the mirror and says, "I think I will do something stupid today?" -- James Hollis
    If people never did silly things nothing intelligent would ever get done. -- Ludwig Wittgenstein
    Whaling is illegal in Oklahoma.

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    Protocol Droid Athenian200's Avatar
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    You should ask yourself how you feel about this. If you feel that it would be a violation of your personal morality for you to purchase a Diamond, you should not do so, because it would come back to haunt you eventually. You could purchase a plain gold one, one with a different stone (such as a Ruby or Sapphire), or one with an artificial stone. If your girlfriend really loves you, and you explain your position on Diamonds to her, she should understand. If she can't be understanding and tolerant of your views, then perhaps it isn't in your best interest to marry her.

    But I'm curious as to what exactly it is that you find morally repugnant about Diamonds specifically?

    Did she actually hint that she would accept nothing less than a Diamond, or did she simply say that she wanted a ring? If she did specifically say that she would only marry you if you gave her a Diamond ring, then you may have to reevaluate your moral position, think about how violating it will affect you internally in the long run, and then decide whether to proceed anyway, or step back from the marriage.
    Last edited by Athenian200; 07-18-2007 at 07:48 PM. Reason: Adding details.

  4. #4
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
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    You want girl. Girl wants Diamond. Diamond justified.

    That said, Don proposed with a bagel.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

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    Senior Member ptgatsby's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by athenian200 View Post
    If she can't be understanding and tolerant of your views, then perhaps it isn't in your best interest to marry her.
    Oh, she's very understanding. We are doing the traditional thing - our two birthstones on a custom ring. The real traditional thing, I mean.

    But I'm curious as to what exactly it is that you find morally repugnant about Diamonds specifically?
    To sum it up;

    1) The conflict and slave labour they have induced
    2) The marketing scheme that socially engineered their desirability
    3) The cost of them is completely artificial and have no chance of retaining value over any period of time

    I guess what I'm looking at is why someone who propose with a ring. I see diamonds as nothing more than an awesome social engineering example... but most of those don't cost me many months of my salary. But more than that, why the diamond and not (a more Muslim tradition) of a lot of gold (that goes to the woman in the case of seperation), or something similar (Indian, Chinese) where the gifts are all in gold that you wear. I would be willing to pay about 160% the value of a diamond in equivalent gold... at least!

  6. #6
    Junior Member alex's Avatar
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    I've been married for nine years. I went the first three months without a diamond because I insisted on being different. Then I wanted a diamond, not because it's a status beacon, but because it was symbolic of a durable, lasting relationship. Ok, that's tacky, but truth be told, if I could do it over again, I might opt for a moissanite ring.

    Justification: Because she wants one.

  7. #7
    Senior Member htb's Avatar
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    1. Buy the ring.

    2. Spend your honeymoon plunging deep into the Bengali jungle to free said slave labor in the particular idiom of The Temple of Doom.

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    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
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    You could buy a diamond at a pawn shop and have it reset. You could also see if she would accept an engineered diamond.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

  9. #9
    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by alex View Post
    Justification: Because she wants one.
    That's as good a justification as I know. Although, women can consider it a symbol of the degree to which they are appreciated. They compete with each other over material things their men buy for them - or so i've heard.

    If my guy bought me a diamond, i'd be touched, and would reward him generously, but then have him take it back to the store.
    Step into my metaphysical room of mirrors.
    Fear of reality creates myopic morality
    So I guess it means there is trouble until the robins come
    (from Blue Velvet)

  10. #10
    Protocol Droid Athenian200's Avatar
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    Well, it sounds to me like this is very important to you, and I don't think you should compromise your values. It seems like you would feel guilty for it later on. I don't know how she thinks, but I know I would feel angrier if a person violated their moral principles just to appease me than if they stood firm in their convictions, even if I didn't agree with them. (But then I'm an INFJ.)

    But I think you should tell her exactly how you feel about this, and then ask her if she still wants the Diamond. Remember, you're going to be living with this person, and if you don't feel comfortable telling her when something she wants makes you uncomfortable, or you don't feel that she respects you enough to care, then you should seriously be considering all of those aspects.

    As far as a ring itself, I would say that it makes the ceremony go more smoothly because it is the traditional symbol of a bond. The Diamond thing isn't as big or important a tradition as the ring itself. Many people can't afford Diamonds, and still get married. Also, some people actually prefer Sapphires, Rubies, Emeralds, Onyx, and various other precious stones.

    I'm sorry I can't just give you an easy answer.
    Last edited by Athenian200; 07-18-2007 at 08:42 PM. Reason: Forgot a detail.

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