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Thread: Diamond Rings

  1. #71
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    I should probably volunteer the information that the man I see myself marrying is spending a year in Afghanistan as a government contractor. He'll come back with enough money to buy a house, and he's a shoe-in for a well-paying job where we live. So when I post on this subject, I'm thinking from an unusual frame of reference. I know with some of my comments I'm coming across as though I like to throw money away and I expect him to do the same with his money. That's really not the case, though. I was raised to be very thrifty, and I allocate my money based on my goals and priorities. We just happen to be discussing rings, and when it comes to my engagement ring I want to feel like I can get what I want. On the very same token, I wouldn't be comfortable wearing a piece of jewelry everyday that was over-the-top expensive. I don't expect (or want) anything outrageous. I just want it to stand out. I've noticed a larger diamond on a girl's hand and thought "wow, that's nice." That's the reaction I want. Whether that's materialistic or greedy...I don't really care. I'm positive it's the only piece of jewelry I'll ever own to cost more than $10, lol.

    Of course, on the subject of my SO, we have to make it through a year of separation first! I am only vaguely suggesting that I have felt since I met him three years ago that I could be with him for the rest of my life. I still feel too young to make a decision I consider final and concrete like that.

  2. #72
    Senior Member ptgatsby's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cindyrella View Post
    I should probably volunteer the information that the man I see myself marrying is spending a year in Afghanistan as a government contractor. He'll come back with enough money to buy a house, and he's a shoe-in for a well-paying job where we live. So when I post on this subject, I'm thinking from an unusual frame of reference.

    Of course, we have to make it through a year of separation first! I am only vaguely suggesting that I have felt since I met him three years ago that I could be with him for the rest of my life. I still feel too young to make a decision I consider final and concrete like that.
    Lucky girl That's all I have to say about it. (Well, no, that's not true. Just make sure that the windfall purchases are well thought out, regardless of their scope! Not that I'm saying you won't )

    [/envy]

  3. #73
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    Quote Originally Posted by ptgatsby View Post
    Lucky girl That's all I have to say about it. (Well, no, that's not true. Just make sure that the windfall purchases are well thought out, regardless of their scope! Not that I'm saying you won't )

    [/envy]
    Lucky is one way of putting it! We have been through some serious ups and downs and I still have no idea where it's headed. I don't want to rush anything, since we have plenty of time to figure out what we want to do for the rest of our lives.

    There's going to be a lot of sacrifice with him working in the Middle East for a year. I'm not exactly thrilled. He has been so insistent on going because of the money, but it scares me. He's ending a 5-year enlistment in the Marine Corps and never once went overseas. I was definitely spoiled in that regard since it is rare for a Marine to stay stateside through an entire enlistment these days. This is going to be hard on us...I can say with 100% confidence it will not be smooth sailing. We'll see.

    I've gone completely off subject now. haha

  4. #74
    Senior Member ptgatsby's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cindyrella View Post
    Lucky is one way of putting it! We have been through some serious ups and downs and I still have no idea where it's headed. I don't want to rush anything, since we have plenty of time to figure out what we want to do for the rest of our lives.

    There's going to be a lot of sacrifice with him working in the Middle East for a year. I'm not exactly thrilled. He has been so insistent on going because of the money, but it scares me. He's ending a 5-year enlistment in the Marine Corps and never once went overseas. I was definitely spoiled in that regard since it is rare for a Marine to stay stateside through an entire enlistment these days. This is going to be hard on us...I can say with 100% confidence it will not be smooth sailing. We'll see.

    I've gone completely off subject now. haha
    One day at a time. I've talked to quite a few miliary women over the years, and although I can say that they all found it difficult and some had a few explosions, most made it through alright. One year isn't so bad in the end. Just keep your life running! The best thing is to keep busy... without that, emotions seem to drift. Pair bonding is easy to break when apart... it can't be helped. Staying busy helps mitigate the drop off rate (and prevent a new pair bonding to replace the old, which pretty much makes it impossible to renew).

    And meh, the original topic never seemed to take off. I'd rather talk about relationships anyway

  5. #75
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    With three jobs and trying to finish up my degree, I think I'll stay quite busy!! The deployment stories I've heard run the gamut. I've been around this my entire life (Marine brat)...most of the girls I graduated high school with in 2004 are wives and mothers by now. I refuse to succumb to this mini-culture I've grown up in. I take a lot of pride in being a Marine brat and I don't think I'd have preferred to be raised any other way, but I see its flaws and I know how hard the lifestyle can be on relationships. I mean, you know it's gotta be bad when service members are told "we don't issue you a wife." Gah.

  6. #76
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cindyrella View Post
    Oh, and for the record, I'm one of those girls who wants a big rock. And speaking as one of those girls, I openly admit it has much to do with my value system and simple competition. I admit I look at small diamonds on other women and think, "why would she settle for that?" Or more accurately, "I would never settle for that!" My mind likes to think a bigger ring means the man considers me worth the expense.
    That seems to be the only purpose the ring serves, which is a big reason that someone would not want to buy it. This attitude also leads easily into various mind games and tests (Females "testing" males by seeing if they get diamonds, males getting females diamonds, both to cause one person to "owe" the other.), which adds a pretty big bad taste to symbolic stuff like that.

  7. #77
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zergling View Post
    That seems to be the only purpose the ring serves, which is a big reason that someone would not want to buy it. This attitude also leads easily into various mind games and tests (Females "testing" males by seeing if they get diamonds, males getting females diamonds, both to cause one person to "owe" the other.), which adds a pretty big bad taste to symbolic stuff like that.
    You're right, but I'm pretty direct with my SO about why I would prefer a big rock. He knows and he might think I'm silly for it but I'm positive he'd get me what I want anyway! And knowing him, he'll figure out a way to get me what I want without spending more than he deems necessary.

  8. #78
    Per Ardua Metamorphosis's Avatar
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    You could always just steal yourself a nice diamond ring for her! lol

    "You will always be fond of me. I represent to you all the sins you never had the courage to commit."

    Reason is, and ought only to be the slave of the passions, and can never pretend to any other office
    than to serve and obey them. - David Hume

  9. #79
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cindyrella View Post
    I guess I'm speaking from the assumption that anyone I fall in love with is going to be intelligent and driven enough to be successful and practical with money, so neither he nor I really need to over-think the whole ring-buying process.

    Sorry.
    I guess how much ring my husband could afford, or rather how much ring we felt comfortable affording at the time wasn't really a deciding factor in my marrying him. We could cover the basics of life with a little left over for saving for a rainy day and we were perfectly happy with that. My husband is intelligent and driven but he had been laid off from his previous job during the recession of the late 1980s and taken time to go back to school for more training at the time we met and had just received a good job offer in another state when he asked me to marry him. He had saved money but had lived off it while going to school.

    To me, being with him and starting our live was more important than the ring. He would like to buy an engagement type ring now but I won't let him because I can only think of the other things that money would provide to our lives and I just couldn't bear to see us spend money on it.

  10. #80
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    Money, etc was about the last thing on mine and my hubby's minds when we got engaged, too. We were totally clueless college students. We found it completely bazaar that our school did not recognize us as being engaged because no minerals had changed hands.

    I also cannot grasp the idea of evaluating my worth in my husband's eyes by the expense of the material things he purchases for me. I mean, if that were true, then gangster rappers highly value the hos for whom they buy bling.

    Nor can I get my head around the idea that my husband's worthiness or value is tied to what he can buy or his financial situation. He's honest, he works hard, everything he makes goes into taking care of his family, and all this without complaint. I like it when the results are lucrative, but he was just as great a guy when he was busting his butt for under $20K as he is now. I've never met his equal, let alone his better.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

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