You like pleasure but not pain ... there's a pain in your life you've been trying to avoid for quite some time now. Looking at it, examining it, is fearful for you. What is to fear but fear itself? But there's the rub; fear is scary, so how does one compensate for that? How does one grow beyond one's own self-imposed limitations? There's this fear that no one even listens, but really the one who's not listening is you, to yourself. You are stronger, bigger, faster, more capable than you believe yourself to be. The world is not as confusing as you feel it is right now; you just need some time to figure out what you want to do now. You can do this. The way out is through.