...Sometimes I do the training and sometimes I just am on-site support, i.e. I run the registration table and make sure people sign in and out for continuing education units and make sure they pick up the handouts.
I am VERY organized. I have the sign-up sheets in alphabetical order WITH tent cards indicating in BOLD letters which names are on which sheets. Do you think people READ these??? Noooooooooooooooooooo!
I have the registration table set up to aid the flow of people traffic INTO the conference room. Sign in for training.....sign up for CEUs if you need/qualify (BTW if you don't know if you need these....you probably don't!!)...pick up handouts (YES YOU NEED ALL OF THEM OR I WOULDN'T HAVE BOTHERED TO COPY OR HAUL THEM ALL ACROSS THE BLEEPING STATE, DUMBASS!!!!) and find a seat.
I am so going to create a How to Take a Training Course for Dummies book.
Chapter 1 - The training is scheduled from 9-5.
YES! YOU MUST STAY UNTIL 5.
IT HAS BEEN A LONG DAY FOR ME TOO!
I HAVE A LONG DRIVE TOO!
I HAD TO MAKE ARRANGEMENTS FOR MY CHILDREN, WHY COULDN'T YOU?
NO, YOU MAY NOT SIGN OUT EARLY TO BEAT THE RUSH...WHAT MAKES YOU SO SPECIAL!?!?!? EVERYONE ELSE HAS TO WAIT. AND IF YOU FOLLOW THE FLOW OF TRAFFIC IT WILL GO QUICKLY!!!
AND LEAVE YOUR SNOOTY ATTITUDE AT HOME NEXT TIME....I AM NOT THE TRAINING NAZI!!!
Chapter 2 - Please read the emails that we send you.
YES, I KNOW THAT THERE ARE NOT ENOUGH OUTLETS IN THE CONFERENCE ROOM FOR EVERYONE TO PLUG IN THEIR LAPTOP. THAT IS WHY WE SUGGESTED THAT YOU BRING A POWER STRIP AND/OR EXTRA CHARGED BATTERIES!!!!!!
NO, I DO NOT HAVE THE HANDOUTS FROM THE FIRST DAY OF TRAINING. YOU WERE REMINDED TO BRING THEM WITH YOU IN THE EMAIL THAT WE SENT YOU.
NO, I DO NOT VALIDATE OR REIMBURSE YOU FOR YOUR PARKING. PLEASE ASK THE HOTEL OR SUBMIT TO YOUR COMPANY FOR REIMBURSMENT!
Chapter 3 - The handouts
YES, YOU NEED ALL THE HANDOUTS, INCLUDING THE ONE THAT STATES "IMPORTANT INFORMATION" AT THE TOP!!!!!!! DUH!
NO, YOU MAY NOT TAKE EXTRAS FOR YOUR FRIEND WHO COULDN'T MAKE IT...COPY THEM YOURSELF!!!
AGAIN, NO, I DO NOT HAVE THE HANDOUTS FOR THE FIRST DAY OF TRAINING!!!
HEY, DUMBASS! IF IT SAYS "IMPORTANT INFORMATION" AT THE TOP OF A HANDOUT, DON'T YOU THINK YOU SHOULD TAKE THE TIME TO READ IT?!?!?!!? DUH!!!!!! THEN YOU WOULDN'T HAVE TO ASK ME SO MANY F*ING STUPID QUESTIONS!!!!!!!!!
Chapter 4 - Continuing Education Units
REMEMBER THAT EMAIL WE SENT YOU??? EVERYBODY WILL GET A CERTIFICATE OF ATTENDANCE TWO WEEKS AFTER THE TRAINING. WE NEED TIME TO PROCESS THE REGISTRATIONS AND ATTENDANCE SHEETS TO MAKE SURE THAT YOU DID INDEED ATTEND THE TRAINING AND THAT YOU STAYED FOR THE WHOLE TRAINING!
IF YOU NEED CEUs, YOU SHOULD KNOW YOUR LICENSE NUMBER. IF YOU DO NOT HAVE A LICENSE OR A LICENSE NUMBER, YOU DO NOT NEED NOR DO YOU QUALIFY FOR CEUs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
YES, YOU NEED TO SIGN IN ON THAT CEU SHEET, IN ADDITION TO THE GENERAL SIGN IN SHEET. HOW ELSE WILL I KNOW THAT YOU NEED CEUs??????
Chapter 5 - Sign Out Procedures
I make an announcement towards the end of the training regarding signout procedures....the teacher in me really comes out here...and I say, "When you are dismissed please proceed to the registration tables to sign out. The same sheet that you signed in on will have a column highlighted in purple...SIGN YOUR INITIALS IN THAT COLUMN AND YOU ARE FREE TO GO!!" Guess how many times during the sign out I have to repeat, "just sign you initials in the purple column" ...NO, YOU DO NOT NEED TO SIGN THE TIME....YOU ARE ALL LEAVING AT THE SAME TIME!!! DUH!!!