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  1. #61
    `~~Philosoflying~~` SillySapienne's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by proteanmix View Post
    I'm not really understanding the point of this thread. You've created quite the image of yourself of a supremely confident person (which I've had my doubts about). Do you want others to commiserate with you? Do you want advice? Are just ranting? Are you attention whoring? What's your point?
    Quote Originally Posted by CaptainChick View Post
    `
    "How glorious it is-and also how painful-to be an exception" Alfred DeMusset

    Two curses:

    I feel disconnected from most of my peers.

    And because of this I feel alienated and lonely, lonely, lonely.

    Gah!!!

    :sad:



    :steam:

    :sad:

    Any thoughts, opinions and, or advice would be greatly appreciated.
    And I have never claimed to be a supremely confident person?

    Am I confident? Yes. Supremely confident? No.
    `
    'Cause you can't handle me...

    "A lie is a lie even if everyone believes it. The truth is the truth even if nobody believes it." - David Stevens

    "That that is, is. That that is not, is not. Is that it? It is."

    Veritatem dies aperit

    Ride si sapis

    Intelligentle sparkles

  2. #62
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CaptainChick View Post
    Can a confident person not feel lonely, alienated, sad and frustrated?
    A confident person usually doesn't see the need to beat everyone down who has a different perspective/opinion, or to react so emotionally when people don't parrot back what they're hoping to get.

    It's confusing.
    No one's really sure what you want.
    And that's a very clear push towards people just withdrawing and not bothering.

    I don't know.
    I went through the whole "I need to be special and yet accepted" thing already in my life. For YEARS.
    It sucked.
    I felt very alienated.
    Until I figured out it was up to me to at least initiate bridging the gap.
    And I also had to NOT focus on what made me "special" (because that just drew extra boundaries), I had to allow myself to be a "normal human being"...

    ... because ultimately that is what we all are anyway, right?

    So let it go.
    Stop trying to be the smart one.
    The creative one.
    The funniest one.
    The most independent one.

    You either get accept for being human and yourself, or you get accepted for your "gifts" and then when your gifts fail, you're going to be discarded. That's how it works.

    You want to be human and accepted, you're going to have to allow yourself to be perceived as "average"... and once you do that, people are more prone to seeing you as the other things you wish they would see you as. But it comes from them, not you.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  3. #63
    Striving for balance Little Linguist's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    A confident person usually doesn't see the need to beat everyone down who has a different perspective/opinion, or to react so emotionally when people don't parrot back what they're hoping to get.

    It's confusing.
    No one's really sure what you want.
    And that's a very clear push towards people just withdrawing and not bothering.

    I don't know.
    I went through the whole "I need to be special and yet accepted" thing already in my life. For YEARS.
    It sucked.
    I felt very alienated.
    Until I figured out it was up to me to at least initiate bridging the gap.
    And I also had to NOT focus on what made me "special" (because that just drew extra boundaries), I had to allow myself to be a "normal human being"...

    ... because ultimately that is what we all are anyway, right?

    So let it go.
    Stop trying to be the smart one.
    The creative one.
    The funniest one.
    The most independent one.

    You either get accept for being human and yourself, or you get accepted for your "gifts" and then when your gifts fail, you're going to be discarded. That's how it works.

    You want to be human and accepted, you're going to have to allow yourself to be perceived as "average"... and once you do that, people are more prone to seeing you as the other things you wish they would see you as. But it comes from them, not you.
    AMEN!!!! This is what I wanted to say.

    Chick, you have great value just as you are. You need to learn how to love yourself in spite of what your father said. If you don't deal with it, you will continue the same mistake until it is dealt with. This truth is a cosmic truth.

    You have very low self-esteem. Otherwise, the opinions and acceptance of others would not be so important to you. It stems from the past, probably.

    That's okay. But you have to deal with it, preferably now, while you are young, otherwise it will blow all out of proportion.
    If you are interested in language, words, linguistics, or foreign languages, check out my blog and read, post, and/or share.

  4. #64
    Senior Member Anja's Avatar
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    Here's a bit of housekeeping advice. You've asked and you've received. In all good spirit, I hope, people are offering you a word picture of how they perceive you.

    There's a saying I have applied to myself: If one person tells you you are a horse, you can blow it off. If two people do, better start taking it in. And if three people do, it's time to invest in a good saddle.

    So in the intention of helping you benefit from your request I suggest you worry less about people not perceiving you in the way you know you are. And listen to what sounds like collective truths of others. Then that's something you can work on to present yourself as you truly are.

    That hurt and lonely stuff does alienate us. I know. And then it continues to.
    "No ray of sunshine is ever lost, but the green which it awakes into existence needs time to sprout, and it is not always granted to the sower to see the harvest. All work that is worth anything is done in faith." - Albert Schweitzer

  5. #65
    `~~Philosoflying~~` SillySapienne's Avatar
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    OY VEY!!!

    Stop trying to be the smart one.
    The creative one.
    The funniest one.
    The most independent one.
    Jesus Christ, I am just being me, and I have no one to impress.

    THIS IS HOW I DO!!!

    I don't try to be anyone or anything that I am not!

    My driving goal is to be as authentic as I can be.
    `
    'Cause you can't handle me...

    "A lie is a lie even if everyone believes it. The truth is the truth even if nobody believes it." - David Stevens

    "That that is, is. That that is not, is not. Is that it? It is."

    Veritatem dies aperit

    Ride si sapis

    Intelligentle sparkles

  6. #66
    Senior Member Rachelinpa's Avatar
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    You want to be human and accepted, you're going to have to allow yourself to be perceived as "average"... and once you do that, people are more prone to seeing you as the other things you wish they would see you as. But it comes from them, not you.
    Hmm, yes, this is true. I have done this. Ex. I dance well. I always have to give the appearance that I am like one of the group (being myself, but being quiet about it) during my theater rehearsals so I can establish likeability amongst the people first before they pre-judge me based on my ability.

    At the same time, it can be exhausting. Sometimes I wonder how long I should wait before I bust out with the truth.

  7. #67
    Senior Member Bella's Avatar
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    Goodness....But on a brighter note; Uber's avatar doesn't stab me in the heart anymore!
    yesiknowimamiserablegrouchnowgoawayovmeleor

    It's Mizzz ST, thank you...

  8. #68
    `~~Philosoflying~~` SillySapienne's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Little Linguist View Post
    .You have very low self-esteem. Otherwise, the opinions and acceptance of others would not be so important to you. It stems from the past, probably..
    The opinions and acceptance of others?!??!?!

    WHEN AND WHERE DID I MENTION THAT AS A CONCERN OF MINE IN THIS THREAD?!?!?!?

    I have never suffered from having very low self-esteem.

    From my toddler years till I was 12, I was incredibly confident and secure.

    During my adolescence, due to extenuating circumstances my self-esteem did plummet.

    For the past five years since my father's death and through some pretty extensive therapy, my self-esteem has risen dramatically.

    Regardless, I HAVE NEVER SUFFERED FROM VERY LOW SELF-ESTEEM.

    Good grief.
    `
    'Cause you can't handle me...

    "A lie is a lie even if everyone believes it. The truth is the truth even if nobody believes it." - David Stevens

    "That that is, is. That that is not, is not. Is that it? It is."

    Veritatem dies aperit

    Ride si sapis

    Intelligentle sparkles

  9. #69
    Striving for balance Little Linguist's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rachelinpa View Post
    Hmm, yes, this is true. I have done this. Ex. I dance well. I always have to give the appearance that I am like one of the group (being myself, but being quiet about it) during my theater rehearsals so I can establish likeability amongst the people first before they pre-judge me based on my ability.

    At the same time, it can be exhausting. Sometimes I wonder how long I should wait before I bust out with the truth.
    This is good advice. If you are super in what you do, and I believe you are from what you say, you don't need to blare it out with a trumpet. It will become apparent and set itself as truth because truth is truth.

    And after a while you will find that if you surround yourself with the right kinds of people, you will hear them telling you how great you are rather you having to convince them.
    If you are interested in language, words, linguistics, or foreign languages, check out my blog and read, post, and/or share.

  10. #70
    Striving for balance Little Linguist's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CaptainChick View Post
    The opinions and acceptance of others?!??!?!

    WHEN AND WHERE DID I MENTION THAT AS A CONCERN OF MINE IN THIS THREAD?!?!?!?

    I have never suffered from having very low self-esteem.

    From my toddler years till I was 12, I was incredibly confident and secure.

    During my adolescence, due to extenuating circumstances my self-esteem did plummet.

    For the past five years since my father's death and through some pretty extensive therapy, my self-esteem has risen dramatically.

    Regardless, I HAVE NEVER SUFFERED FROM VERY LOW SELF-ESTEEM.

    Good grief.

    Then why does alienation from others bother you?

    It's not only what you say. It's what you don't say. Or what you say indirectly.
    If you are interested in language, words, linguistics, or foreign languages, check out my blog and read, post, and/or share.

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