If you are gifted in something specific, it's very likely youll find nice like minded fellows around the university or school that teaches your specialty. If you are gifted in general... you're in trouble. There ain't place for Leonardos anymore.
I hate this. I am generally gifted in just about everything except a few areas of mathematics that have never appealed to me. I don't know anyone IRL, old or young, who is a worse "jack of all trades" than me. I literally know a little about most things that have even the slightest chance of ever crossing my path in life. I know how to make bombs, build houses, lead armies, first aid/combat first aid/maritime life rescue, scuba diving, hand-to-hand fighting, weapons, history, psychology, music, electronics, pottery, painting, fencing, CQB knife, medicine, law, computers, economics, fixing cars, sailing, flying, driving a tank, pedagogy and effectively persuading people... Just to mention a few. I think I have taken every precaution there is to take before a world war without building a nuclear shelter. -_-
Mightier than the tread of marching armies is the power of an idea whose time has come
Reaching out to others can connect you - finding common ground is easy to do if you try. But your problem seems more personal.
Perhaps you have more specific issues with your current group of friends or co-workers you haven't delved into?
If you are surrounded by people who don't appreciate or support you, this can be the loneliest feeling in the world, especially when their numbers are high. And you are an ENFP, so you should have no problem attracting high numbers (grin).
I do remember reading something about ENFPs running into trouble dealing with negativity and conlicts - being happy, others-focused people, but not necessarily comfortable with their own negative emotions. Not that they are ever comfortable.
Rereading this, it is not clear to me that I have been helpful, but you never know. If I have missed your mark entirely, hopefully I'll hit someone elses
Good luck! I know you will find the insight and strength to reorient yourself.
CC, I do recognize your frustration. I actually spent my youth as a lone wolf myself for the same reason, and always considered my people skills inferior becoz of this. And I still feel that way when I'm in a negative mindset or have burnt myself once again when I was unable to surpress my enthusiasm while in group.
It's one of the reasons I go online. It creates a distance as well as gives me time to reassess my words before pushing the send-button. Creates less tension, I feel.
I have a small group of friends (no larger than 10) which know me really well and can feed my emotional and intellectual cravings, but even with them, I am the one that takes the most time 'off' in the group.
ENFP's might be considered 'people-people' but that doesn't mean it's always that easy
The problem with being NP is that there are a bunch of certain norms the SJ's all cluster around. Over the years the NP's stray further and further from that norm, but they do it in a bunch of different directions. This causes them to think that many other NP's are quite strange instead of having a happy cluster of people to associate with like the SJ's do.
I'm really not connected to most of my peers, but it doesn't make me feel especially lonely or really even that alienated. When you're this way, it's good to be an introvert
Occasionally I do feel alienated and awkward, but mostly I just go about my business.
"I can never be what I ought to be until you are what you ought to be. You can never be what you ought to be until I am what I ought to be. This is the interrelated structure of reality." -Martin Luther King, Jr.