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  1. #131
    Senior Member Anja's Avatar
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    Do you have the ability to see yourself as others see you?

    Last thing I'm going to say here.
    "No ray of sunshine is ever lost, but the green which it awakes into existence needs time to sprout, and it is not always granted to the sower to see the harvest. All work that is worth anything is done in faith." - Albert Schweitzer

  2. #132
    resonance entropie's Avatar
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    She constantly keeps ignoring me
    [URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEBvftJUwDw&t=0s[/URL]

  3. #133
    `~~Philosoflying~~` SillySapienne's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Anja View Post
    Do you have the ability to see yourself as others see you?

    Last thing I'm going to say here.
    In real life, absolutely, I read people quite well.

    In a forum setting, however...

    I am passionate about my beliefs and I'm tenacious as a bulldog when defending them.

    I love debate, and I *only* debate those things which I truly care about.

    My love for debate, coupled with my general extrovertedness and Fi and Te proclivities give me somewhat of an intense, and at times even dogmatic aura.

    I have several styles of communicating, and depending on the objective/purpose of and behind my communicating, my tone will, and does, change dramatically.
    `
    'Cause you can't handle me...

    "A lie is a lie even if everyone believes it. The truth is the truth even if nobody believes it." - David Stevens

    "That that is, is. That that is not, is not. Is that it? It is."

    Veritatem dies aperit

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  4. #134
    `~~Philosoflying~~` SillySapienne's Avatar
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    LOL, so to answer your question, I can see certain people here seeing me as an asshole!

    `
    'Cause you can't handle me...

    "A lie is a lie even if everyone believes it. The truth is the truth even if nobody believes it." - David Stevens

    "That that is, is. That that is not, is not. Is that it? It is."

    Veritatem dies aperit

    Ride si sapis

    Intelligentle sparkles

  5. #135
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    I'm all for non-conformity in general... but I'm not for non-conformity at the expense of others in a community setting.
    What is a community setting?

  6. #136

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    Quote Originally Posted by CaptainChick View Post
    I do, actually.

    My style of posting might be combative at times, but I rarely attack members, instead I attack their points.
    I understand that, but IMO, even taking a little of the edge off will help emensely. It doesn't have to be much.

    I don't think people want to change you. But most people do not know when someone is attacking the points and not the people who make the points. It is a distinction hard to keep track-of, and difficult to distinguish.

    Also, even fairly even-tempered people may identify with their ideas strongly enough that a dismisal or shunning of an idea will be taken as a dismisal or shunning of themselves.

    I often feel misunderstood also. Ultimately, when I ask for advice regarding this, the answers given are about communicating more clearly.

    I have a lot of trouble communicating also. But as with learning to do anything, there are things that work and things that don't. The only feedback we get on our communication skills are from the people we are communicating with. Compared to how well I communicated even 4 years ago, I am much better.

    For me personally, to understand your points better, I would prefer is you supported points with some explanations and references. But I know that I heavily prefer that style.

    I have cogitated on some of your posts, and I believe them to much more deeply thought out than the face-value would indicate. But that usually won't come through without elaboration.

    I understand the frustration, sometimes people just seem "dense"


    Sometimes, I can explain something in what I believe to be the clearest language imaginable, and people just don't get it.

    For examples here, see the MBTIc Math thread.

    But I've experienced the other-side too. One of the most brilliant physics professors I had tended to get really frustrated that we didn't understand "the basics," and once had an outburst in class, "So what's the problem?!"

    I like him, he is a great guy, and generally we all liked him and believed we were learning a lot.

    But that was rather... unprofessional.

    It doesn't mean I abdicate my responsibility to understand, but he had a responsibility to clarify also.

    Accept the past. Live for the present. Look forward to the future.
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    "As our island of knowledge grows, so does the shore of our ignorance." John Wheeler
    "[A] scientist looking at nonscientific problems is just as dumb as the next guy." Richard Feynman
    "[P]etabytes of [] data is not the same thing as understanding emergent mechanisms and structures." Jim Crutchfield

  7. #137
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    Did I miss anything?

  8. #138
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    Quote Originally Posted by Athenian200 View Post
    1. She referred to herself as "gifted," using an emotionally charged word where a more neutral one might have better conveyed her meaning.
    Why is "gifted" an emotionally charged word? What kind of neutral word might have better conveyed her meaning?

  9. #139
    & Badger, Ratty and Toad Mole's Avatar
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    Default Schadenfreude

    Quote Originally Posted by CaptainChick View Post
    I am passionate about my beliefs and I'm tenacious as a bulldog when defending them.
    I confess to a certain schadenfreude to see the Captain put upon.

    I felt schadenfreude because I had a run in with the Captain. And I was brought up short.

    Still, I have gained quite a bit reading all the posts.

    And I do think that many of the posters did show their vulnerabilities as well as their defences.

    And this brings me to my beef with the Captain. I found that neither I nor the Captain could share our mutual vulnerabilities.

    And as I am not prepared to live entirely on the surface, I have not written to the Captain since.

    But here I am - and here we all are - writing to the Captain.

    I think this is the advantage of belonging to a large and varied group - there are all kinds of permutations and combinations possible - where one path is blocked, another opens up.

    We are like a tree - with more branches, more spaces open up - a mature tree creates spaces - more intricate spaces - and the number of spaces increases exponentially with the number of branches.

    I am intoxicated by trees and have always wanted to become one.

    And here I am, a branch of the MBTI Central tree.

    Whoopee!

  10. #140
    4x9 cascadeco's Avatar
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    Didn't care to keep reading all of the pages after this quote -

    Quote Originally Posted by Usehername View Post
    We don't interact because after two months of me getting frustrated watching you interact with others, I've had you on "ignore" since then.
    I've never put anyone on ignore, but like Usehername, I have had no desire to interact online with CC because I have observed how she interacts on this forum, and want no part of it. Basically I see no 'point' in it, based on the types of responses she gives.

    To be completely honest, when I read the title and OP, I thought to myself...well, not too surprising, given the online persona CC projects!! I at least don't want to interact closely, so I was thinking to myself..it's rather a self-fulfulling prophecy that CC feels alienated from others. [Although I imagine she probably does get along with lots of people and has a lot of friends and is well-liked in real life, like she has mentioned.]

    It very well may be that CC is entirely different from how she can be perceived online. However, in some ways, perception can become reality. She may be this beautiful wonderful person on the inside (and probably is), but if no one on the outside can see that, or all of those qualities are hidden by defenses, or a harder exterior, or whatever, then her external presentation becomes who she is -- to others, at least. So then it almost doesn't matter if she in reality does lack confidence, or doesn't see herself as 'superior', or whatever...because if she projects that (even unintentionally), and if multiple people perceive her in that manner, then, well...that can say something. Something to explore.

    Probably most of us on this board have felt like outcasts at one time or another in our lives, or it's a subtle ever-present undercurrent that never entirely goes away. I know it was particularly poignant for me as a teenager (I didn't really have any friends, except maybe one), and it comes and goes intermittently these days. But it's becoming less of an 'issue' for me, the more I just let go, and let other people just BE who they are. Certainly - I still get that ache at times where I feel utterly alone and that no one understands me and I never *really* connect with anyone else - but, I think half of that is my own construct -- something I've built up and accepted, and therefore it becomes rather self-fulfilling. I guess for myself, I don't really feel 'alienated', as I think a lot of that is in my power to change. But yeah, in general, I get what you're saying about all of that.
    "...On and on and on and on he strode, far out over the sands, singing wildly to the sea, crying to greet the advent of the life that had cried to him." - James Joyce

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