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  1. #1
    no clinkz 'til brooklyn Nocapszy's Avatar
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    Default Ridiculous frekkin' ideas

    Sometimes I think to start a forest fire with a friend and finish a game of chess before we're swallowed by the flames.

    Sometimes I feel compelled to grab the electric fence intended to keep deer and other mammalian pests out of a field of crop.

    I get a lot of ridiculous fucking ideas and indulge a great many of them.
    What about you dudes?

  2. #2
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    Sometimes I think of collecting abortions from a clinic and transforming them into miniature cyborg soldiers. They will then attack the city by biting the back of people's necks and injecting a pulse into their spines, which would then make the people's heads explode.

    Sometimes I think of implanting pacemakers in a bunch of anonymous fellows that are psychically linked to my brain, with which I can control them. If they fail to do my bidding, I will turn their pacemakers off using my mind and then they will be forced to be under my control.

    Sometimes I think of pushing an old lady in the front of a moving bus.

    Sometimes I think of writing a romance novel about a mortician and his girlfriend; not even death would keep them apart.

    Sometimes I think of making my own Crysis game that is set in a very detailed interpretation of Las Vegas. And then the aliens would freeze the city with their awesome freezer rays, turning Vegas into a tundra.

  3. #3
    Oberon
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    Some people just really shouldn't play this game.

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    Quote Originally Posted by oberon View Post
    Some people just really shouldn't play this game.
    I'm guessing you're talking to yourself.

  5. #5
    Senior Member kuranes's Avatar
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    Get to the front of a long line of people waiting to buy tickets and then go back to the end of the line again and again, without ever actually buying any tickets. Try to use the opportunity to force yourself to pay attention to things you would ordinarily let slip by and take for granted.

    Notice unusual things that seem similar. The smell of vomit and Parmesan, or cellophane crackling and fire.

    If you took the attack part of musical instrument's notes off and switched the steady states and overtones remaining with a different instrument attack, what would it sound like if blended seamlessly ? This was done with clarinet and violin and it sounded like a hurdy gurdy. What about a gong ? What would be best to pair with a gong ?

    What sort of things might one do to torment Osama Bin Laden if captured ?

    We could make him listen to American pop songs and give his opinion on the lyrics, for one thing. He could hear Jimmy Buffett singing about "searchin' for that lost shaker of salt", for example, and then opine that he thinks it is about American drunken decadence.

    That's OK. Let him rant.

    Later on he'd have to tell us about what the Buffet lyrics "some people think that it's a w-o-o-man to blame; but I know, it's my own damn fault" means.

    Every so often we would act especially angry about one of his answers, chosen at random, and then "as punishment" throw him into a huge swarm of male drone ants that can't bite, and then ( after a while ) we'd act like he'd been chastised enough to go back to normal questioning about songs. He would think that we failed to notice the fact that the ants didn't bite him.

    After a couple weeks of this soft-boiled stuff, asking him about the meaning of different songs, we'd feed him a lot of LSD and put him in a funhouse dressed as a clown, with a mohawk haircut and a mirror maze which can swivel like a kaleidoscope. We'd do the same with Uberfuhrer and tell each one that the other was "following" him.

    Elsewhere - People would receive instructions to make demands, just short of being unreasonable, of authority figures in their lives. For example, students would be told to go to their teachers privately and say that they needed an "A" this quarter for very private reasons, and that it was a matter of extreme importance, implying with facial expression that it might be life or death. Line supervisors would be instructed to go to their bosses and ask for holidays for their entire crews. Treasury secretaries would ask for 700 billion dollars....or else......

    Cars would be made out of pillows so that accidents didn't amount to much. People would sometimes crash into each other on purpose, like in a mosh pit, during the morning commute. Folks would throw water balloons at each other on Thursdays just to break the tension. Strange "hailstorms" of frogs and other odd objects would occur. across the country. When frogs of an odd peach colored hue hit you, they would splatter open, and the rare people that got hit by these come to profess a newfound inner peace later. Some people would look around for such frogs, hoping to get hit, once the word got out, but...alas....Peachie doesn't work "that" way.
    "The people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them that they are being attacked and denounce the peacemakers for lack of patriotism, and exposing the country to danger. It works the same in any country."
    Reichsfuhrer Herman Goering at the Nuremburg trials.

  6. #6
    Senior Member kuranes's Avatar
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    * sings reggae for no reason *

    "You can get it if you really want.
    You can get it if you really want.
    But you must try
    try and try
    TRY and TRY-Y-Y
    til
    you succeed at last
    * horns play *
    "The people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them that they are being attacked and denounce the peacemakers for lack of patriotism, and exposing the country to danger. It works the same in any country."
    Reichsfuhrer Herman Goering at the Nuremburg trials.

  7. #7
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    I took birth control pills for a month once to see what would happen.

    Suffice it to say, I didn't get pregnant.

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by SolitaryPenguin View Post
    I took birth control pills for a month once to see what would happen.

    Suffice it to say, I didn't get pregnant.
    Maybe you would have if you didn't take them...

  9. #9
    no clinkz 'til brooklyn Nocapszy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by oberon View Post
    Some people just really shouldn't play this game.
    Thank you for beating me to the punch.

    I didn't say "sadistic fucking ideas," Uber.

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nocapszy View Post
    I didn't say "sadistic fucking ideas," Uber.
    Fine, I sometimes think of becoming a marsupial, so that I can have a miniature version of me in my pouch.

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