I hope the title did not excite any preconceive ideas, however I'm in a dilemma over what to define a series of actions I've committed as. Please do not give me relationship advise as I do not like that.
Some background info includes the fact that I'm an undergrad and the person I'm referring to is a grad student so there is an age discrepancy.
So this is what happened...I was getting my research paper checked out at my college's writing center last Monday. I was pretty tired from the walk and wait to get there. To my surprise, my consultant turned out to be this INTP woman. At first, I did not really pay attention to her as I was on a time schedule that my evil brother had to set up for us to go eat at a unworthy restaurant. However when we began to communicate more about the paper, we seemed to somehow "connect" and it scared me at first because I've really never connected to anyone like this. The session went on and I found myself obsessed with how she thinks. It was how similarly cerebral and overexcitable she was that I was in shock. So, being the person that I am, I immediately left the conversation to a semi-professional level setting despite how joyful she was over our meeting.
I'm deeply sadden by this fact as when my time was up due to having to go to the restaurant with my brother, I had to leave. So after a day, I realized that I'm still sad. I felt like out of all the hordes of friends I have, she could have replaced many of them. Like a hundred of them.
So I decided to "create" a paper to get it checked out again. It has some substance to school work, but that isn't the point. I wanted to get the same consultant so I asked for her. I got a date for which she would work on Wednesday which is today so I went. However, I did not see her and got another consultant to review my paper.
Now, I'm thinking perhaps I can do the same thing for next Monday....
The weird thing about this whole experience is that I'm not sure if I'm seeking an illusion or a real person. I just met her for an hour and I'm already doing things I would not usually do. Out of all the beautiful girls that I would have no challenge at all meeting, this one is an exception.