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Thread: Are you a joyful gifter or a begrudging gifter? Gifting Anxieties?

  1. #1
    Rubber Nipple Salesperson Array ladypinkington's Avatar
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    Jul 2007

    Default Are you a joyful gifter or a begrudging gifter? Gifting Anxieties?

    Remember that Simpson's when Flanders lands the basketball in the basket from I think either half court or full court distance and wins like 100,000 and says I'm giving it to charity and Homer gets pissed off and screams NO!!! Not Charity!

    Or when George Costanza gets alerted that he needs to join in on a gift for yet another person and steams, Where does it end!

    I can so relate!

    Gifting is so stressful to me. I don't like receiving gifts from people who I don't feel close to because then I feel obligated to them- and also it pisses me off how people act like they are absolved of any responsibility because they gave you something- like it gives them moral invincibility.

    I don't like to give gifts to people I don't care about either- because it feels like I am paying off guilty feelings. Perhaps because things have sentimental value to me- if there is no sentiment behind it- then it is just a waste- it is a lie.

    I have a very defined heirarchy as well when it comes to gifts. I believe you should spend more on your spouse then anyone else with the possible exception of children. Best friends should get more then aquaintainces. There should be distinctions.

    I don't like giving to charity either- I think to myself I am a charity. I get confused by people who give a lot and then complain that they don't have money or get stressed out about finances. I see people who give until it breaks them and then they need help from everyone else to stay afloat- they become a bigger charity case then the charity they were trying to help.

    Hubby and I actually tithe 10 percent- but I am in no rush to go over that! I am not against tithing or giving to charity- I am just very survivalist I guess and yes I want room for a little seflishness.
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  2. #2


    I am a JOYFUL gift-giver when it's to a loved one or someone I feel is deserving. When it's polite obligation? God, I dunno the last time I had to. Probably an INFJ thing --I make it a point not to stick around for that "acquaintance-type" bull-crap and so am rarely in a place to do so.

    People I do not know well often fall into 1 of 3 categories:
    #1 You are about to know me much better, and I you, because you strike me as wonderful and worthwhile. Let the gifts of love rain upon you!
    #2 You are NOT wonderful and worthwhile for various reasons, therefore prepare to be frozen out of my sphere of consciousness so viscerally, you'll think it was blizzarding in July.
    #3 I am forced to deal with you for various reasons and will provide nothing more than muted politeness.... in which case, if I *did* have to give a gift, it'd be modest and tasteful.
    "There is no god; there is only us. Savage and fragile."

  3. #3
    Senior Member Array cafe's Avatar
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    Apr 2007
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    I think I probably have an easy come easy go attitude with money and gifts. If I've got it and somebody's passing the plate or whatever, I don't mind tossing something in. I try to keep birthday/Christmas gifts for my nieces/nephews in the same nuclear family and my kids something like equal, but other than that, I don't think I have any set in stone rules.

    What I really have problems with is specific date remembering and acknowledging gifts. I get spacey sometimes and forget to send a birthday/thank you card/gift. I have a weird phobia about calling most people so I'd rather send something from Amazon than call somebody on their b-day. I strangely don't mind when people call me, though.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
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  4. #4
    veteran attention whore Array Jeffster's Avatar
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    Jun 2008
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    I love giving and receiving gifts. It doesn't stress me out either way and I don't feel obligated to anybody.
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  5. #5
    Senior Member Array htb's Avatar
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    May 2007


    Big tipper. Overlook most birthdays. Give unforgettable, carefully assembled gifts when I put my mind to it.

  6. #6
    Just a statistic Array rhinosaur's Avatar
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    Apr 2007


    I don't like receiving most gifts, as they're usually just crap that I don't want or need. Of course I'm obliged to gush over it with warm "thank you"s and "it's just what I wanted"s.

    I enjoy genuine gifts that I will actually use and appreciate. One of the best gifts I've ever received was a big ass umbrella, from my neighbors. I've worn that bitch out. It's actually sitting next to me right now, wet, with one broken prong and one part where the fabric has detached from the end of another prong.

    I enjoy giving when i find something that I genuinely think another person will enjoy and use. I don't like shopping for gifts just because it's time to give gifts.

    I think my sister and I have grown in our abilities to read each other in this regard, and have very similar tastes. She always gets me really awesome gifts, and I her, and it doesn't have to be on a particular occasion. I've already gotten her "christmas present," but I think I'll give it to her early. It's a big hand-made bowl with a matching plate, made by some artist in Wilmington.

    When I have a really good idea for a gift, I love to follow through on it. I took a great picture of my step-dad when we were on a walk a year or two ago, and I blew the photo up real big and framed it. I'm pretty sure he loved it.

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