User Tag List

First 12

Results 11 to 18 of 18

  1. #11
    Banned
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    MBTI
    type
    Posts
    9,100

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by ThatsWhatHeSaid View Post
    Actually, I think this comment makes no sense and confuses what MBTI is all about. "NF" is a descriptive label, not something causal. "NF" doesn't make ladypinkton "like that," as you say, because it doesn't "make" anything. Instead, it's her behavior that makes her "NF." A label itself can't do anything or make people what they are, it's exactly the opposite. This is one of my biggest pet peeves with MBTI proponents, forgetting how you arrived at the temperament label and confusing causality.
    Christ. Yes, NF is descriptive, of people like ladypinkington. Her being "like that" is what "makes" her NF. Exactly where was I reverse-typing anyone? "YOU BE NF NOW." Did I say Christ? Christ.

  2. #12
    Senior Member ThatsWhatHeSaid's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    MBTI
    INTP
    Enneagram
    5w4
    Posts
    7,233

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Jack Flak View Post
    Exactly where was I reverse-typing anyone?
    Quote Originally Posted by Jack Flak View Post
    NFs are so...like that
    This is starting with the NF label and using the label to extrapolate to behavior. It's the behavior that builds the label, not the other way around.

  3. #13
    Banned
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    MBTI
    type
    Posts
    9,100

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by ThatsWhatHeSaid View Post
    This is starting with the NF label and using the label to extrapolate to behavior. It's the behavior that builds the label, not the other way around.
    No, E. I read the post, and declared that NFs are like that. I do not know how this could be any simpler, and I do not know how better to explain it.

  4. #14
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    FREE
    Enneagram
    594 sx/sp
    Socionics
    LII Ne
    Posts
    42,333

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Jack Flak View Post
    No, E. I read the post, and declared that NFs are like that. I do not know how this could be any simpler, and I do not know how better to explain it.
    Well, i had the same perception Edahn did. Since you've made yourself tacitly the standard for non-NF (and presumably you're thinking NT) behavior:

    Quote Originally Posted by Jack Flak View Post
    ... NFs are so...like that, and others like myself aren't in any way. I'm probably more like a machine than like an NF. Emotional intimacy crosses my mind every few months, and I experience it...More occasionally.
    I don't think you're the only indicator of non-NF-dom, I think there's far more spectrum to it. You seem to be on the "cold" end of things, but I've met much warmer NTs than you even while I've also met colder NTs like you.

    The argument now would shift to a discussion over whether the NTs being considered are truly NTs, but that's not the focal point of this thread, and the reasoning on both our parts would probably get a bit circular.

    Quote Originally Posted by ladypinkington
    I find that for me I like to really get to know another person and them know me. I want to know their inner soul, how they think, what they have experienced, what they have learned about themselves- what they feel they don't know about themselves, I love anything that has to do with self-discovery. I guess it is because of my Ni coupled with Fe- I focus on one thing and know it inside and out- only it is on relationships rather than an idea or project. I want to understand a person and they understand me. I feel closest to a person when they have seen a variety of my layers of thought and feeling- the darkest to the brightest- and I have seen the same of their thoughts and feelings and there is still a mutual love and respect. I am ever changing and evolving and so are others- therefore that makes for an ongoing exchange. I need to feel seen and feel that I can see another person in order to feel closeness- seeing being understanding.
    I can empathize a lot with that -- it's part of my own approach to things. But I have a strange dichotomy best described by an interplay between the Self-Preservation and Sexual variants in Enneagram theory.

    What you describe seems to fit well with the Sexual aspect, wanting to know someone deeply and intimate and that drives the encounter... but at the same time the deeper I go, I also feel like I'm losing myself even if I crave it, and I can't get my sense of detachment/clarity to function when I am so deeply immersed, so I'm uncomfortable at some level.


    I cannot get close to people in a large group. I feel limited, I also feel like I can't go after the closeness I desire because it takes away from other people-why can't everyone play and be involved kind of thing. If I want to sit next to someone then I end up taking that seat away from another person who may also want to sit next to them as one of many examples. I like to be free from having to worry about all offensive to others that I am not close to contigencies,lol.
    Yeah, that is why I see Fe as "cold" and Fi as "hot" (although I think PinkP has described them as the opposite). Fe expresses feeling/commitment in a regimented way, and I'm more concerned about putting out the right signals so that no one is excluded and everything remains appropriate and balanced. It demands a lot of external management/thought and often feels convoluted and confusing when too many needs of too many people are involved -- and that prevents one from engaging one on a truly personal level.

    Also if I am not as close to other people it feels like I am being an a-hole if I show closeness or interest to one person but not to everyone. It feels like eating in front of a starving person- like I am throwing it in their face that I am not as interested at that time. I don't like being put in a position where I feel I will hurt other people's feelings- I do not wish to hurt others.
    yes. Like you're feeling you're being catty, or partial, or snobbish in some way, is that what you're saying? Even though you're not doing that at all? And the only way around is either to do it anyway, or else don't bond too closely with ANYONE in public?

    When I am at a gathering, I find now that even if I truly like and connect with a few particular people better than others, I still feel compelled to try to include people I do not know well or might even not particular feel an affinity towards, so as to not project an image of elitism so as to not let them feel excluded.

    No wonder I used to avoid all social gatherings. They're supposed to be fun... and they are if i've got the energy for it... but at the same time there's a lot of energy expended making sure everyone's feeling good about their involvement and no one is being left out. I know what it feels like to be an outsider and it sucks.

    There is also a practical element- if you try sharing in a situation with multiple people- other people can't help but want to be included and share as well most of the time, it takes longer to go through conversations and it can also distract and cause sidetracking from the main purpose of the conversation. If you are only interested at that time in getting to know one or two people then you aren't interested in other people at that time and don't want to be put in a position where you feel you are hurting other people and making them feel left out. The you is really me,lol
    yeah. I relate.

    I remember one incident, long long ago, where an old flame threw a surprise party for me with friends... and I was upset because I had just wanted to spend the night with them and instead i had to entertain all these people and barely got to see the person I had been looking forward to spending the time with originally.

    Perhaps I worry too much what other people think and are feeling but I don't know how to turn it off.
    I don't know if you can.

    Is there a way to distract yourself instead? So that you will listen to other signals more strongly?
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  5. #15
    Banned
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    MBTI
    type
    Posts
    9,100

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    Well, i had the same perception Edahn did. Since you've made yourself tacitly the standard for non-NF (and presumably you're thinking NT) behavior: I don't think you're the only indicator of non-NF-dom, I think there's far more spectrum to it. You seem to be on the "cold" end of things, but I've met much warmer NTs than you even while I've also met colder NTs like you.
    People often read more into my words than exists, or was intended. For example, I said "others, like myself..." Which means only that some other people, including myself, are not like this. Nowhere did I say "whereas non-NFs and especially NTs are not like this, and are cold." It simultaneously pains and pleases me, watching people stumble across my rhetoric without looking down, at it.

  6. #16
    Senior Member VanillaCat's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2008
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Posts
    178

    Default

    Usually I'm very open, so people don't have a hard time getting close to me. But sometimes I feel vulnerable so I stop talking about myself and then they kinda feel obligated to talk about themselves instead. Works out pretty well.

    I only stop wanting to be close to them if they brag about their life experiences. What a turn off.
    It is difficult to get a man to understand something when his salary depends on his not understanding it.

  7. #17
    Senior Member aguanile's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    MBTI
    IXXP
    Enneagram
    4w5
    Posts
    132

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by VanillaCat View Post
    I only stop wanting to be close to them if they brag about their life experiences. What a turn off.
    I know this is off-topic but I totally feel the same way. I had a guy the other day tell me, "yeah, I am good looking, people love me, I get every job I apply for because people love me."

    That just gets under my skin!!

  8. #18
    Senior Member ZiL's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    MBTI
    ENTP
    Enneagram
    567?
    Socionics
    ILE
    Posts
    511

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by disregard View Post
    Being real. When people talk about things that put them in a less attractive light or that make them human. I like honesty about things like that--things that make you open and vulnerable.
    I agree with that. It's a collective letting-down-of-barriers that helps me understand another person in a whole new light and feel that I can express myself without being judged.

    What hinders it? Basically when someone is really judgemental. That's an insurmountable wall. Or if they won't stop talking about themselves. What are you supposed to do with that?


    Usually I'm very open, so people don't have a hard time getting close to me. But sometimes I feel vulnerable so I stop talking about myself and then they kinda feel obligated to talk about themselves instead. Works out pretty well.

    I only stop wanting to be close to them if they brag about their life experiences. What a turn off.
    I'm the same. I usually talk about myself (or ask a question that I know I'll have an answer to after I've heard the other person's reply) to get things rolling, but with a tone of self-deprication so that the other person feels they can speak freely. If I talk for too long, I'll realize it and start holding back... Just depends on how the other person is reacting I guess.

Similar Threads

  1. [NT] How do you feel about emotional appeal as a persuasive method?
    By Babybop in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 121
    Last Post: 09-19-2016, 06:11 PM
  2. [MBTItm] How do you "feel" memories?
    By sculpting in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: 04-15-2009, 01:40 PM
  3. Guys: How do you feel about having a female doctor?
    By Giggly in forum Health and Fitness
    Replies: 47
    Last Post: 07-26-2008, 03:26 PM
  4. How do you feel about your nation's corporations?
    By Ezra in forum Politics, History, and Current Events
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 02-13-2008, 02:23 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO