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  1. #11
    Striving for balance Little Linguist's Avatar
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    Oh, oh, and one other thing. Maturity plays a role because sometimes difficult times produce truths about ourselves that we do not always want to see. So you need to have the detachment to look at yourself through as objective lens as possible, which again - you can only obtain through maturity.

    Quote Originally Posted by spirilis View Post
    Sometimes people have to deal with difficult events, which may tax their emotions to the point of disbelief. A system of denial and disbelief may foster the (false) perception that things "don't happen for a reason," because they can't conceive of any good reason why those events occurred.

    That ability to control one's emotionally-induced disbelief is a sign of maturity IMO.
    EXACTLY. You need to get this detachment to look at the forest and not the trees - to see the meaning of the experience, to see how it "fits," to see what you can "learn".

    Quote Originally Posted by disregard View Post
    Everything does not happen for a reason.

    When you are responsible for what has happened to you, then you need to evolve.
    When you are not responsible for what has happened to you, you still need to evolve!

    Change your way of thinking, change your way of living.

    The meaning is in that change.. but without the change, there is no meaning. Therefore, everything does not happen for a reason, because the reason cannot exist until the change occurs.
    Right. And that takes maturity as well.

    .
    Last edited by proteanmix; 08-21-2008 at 10:57 AM. Reason: merged posts
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  2. #12
    Order Now! pure_mercury's Avatar
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    No, everything does not happen for a reason, but we, as thinking and feeling individuals, can assign importance to them that becomes real. There isn't a huge, complex "plan" out there (whether supernatural or just nature).
    Who wants to try a bottle of merc's "Extroversion Olive Oil?"

  3. #13
    Striving for balance Little Linguist's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by pure_mercury View Post
    No, everything does not happen for a reason, but we, as thinking and feeling individuals, can assign importance to them that becomes real. There isn't a huge, complex "plan" out there (whether supernatural or just nature).
    Things don't have to have a plan to have meaning. I'm not saying my future is predetermined. *I* determine my future. BUT things can have meaning without a plan.
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  4. #14
    Order Now! pure_mercury's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Little Linguist View Post
    Things don't have to have a plan to have meaning. I'm not saying my future is predetermined. *I* determine my future. BUT things can have meaning without a plan.
    They have meaning when someone, intentionally or not, assigns them meaning. It's like a retroactive meaning for something that otherwise just kinda happened.
    Who wants to try a bottle of merc's "Extroversion Olive Oil?"

  5. #15
    Striving for balance Little Linguist's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by pure_mercury View Post
    They have meaning when someone, intentionally or not, assigns them meaning. It's like a retroactive meaning for something that otherwise just kinda happened.
    Well, I respectfully disagree...Let's see what the others say.
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  6. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by Udog View Post
    The funny thing is, even if things don't ACTUALLY happen for a reason, because I search for one, I often find one. This helps me make the most out of even really bad situations, since they often provide an opportunity for me to learn and grow.
    I've come to think the same way, since there really is no knowing what the truth is, but the best chance changing your life for better is to think that the things that happen to you are in fact things that you have chosen for yourself. If you are mean to people, there is a greater chance that they are mean to you. That was a simple example, but there's also stuff that happens to you in a way you don't want it to happen in the first place, but that you will understand as something that you chose for yourself anyway. For example, I was a bit bored with my life, so I decided to go study abroad for half a year. I thought that would be a good chance to "extrovert" myself, live a different life. I did so for the time I was there, and got to see it isn't for me. So, I wasn't actually doing it to extrovert myself, but to find out that it is impossible for me to do so. Now that I know that, I don't have to worry about it. Things didn't change, I did.

    Relationships are easy way of seeing this process in working. Remember some close friends that you really don't connect with anymore? I don't have regrets over the loss of a friend. I see them as a mirror that was there for me when I needed it, but that has grown away because I need a different kind of mirror now.

    Maybe this sounds a little pessimistic, but I think that there is no way changing anyone else, or anything else but yourself and that's fine. I blame myself for my misfortunes, because I could have chosen otherwise. It is not that pessimistic really, since I have all the power in my world.

  7. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by Little Linguist View Post
    Well, I respectfully disagree...Let's see what the others say.
    But you agreed with me, and he basically said what I said.

  8. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by pure_mercury View Post
    They have meaning when someone, intentionally or not, assigns them meaning. It's like a retroactive meaning for something that otherwise just kinda happened.
    I really could think this way, but I choose not to, since it is a lot more useful to think that I have the absolute control over my live. You say that things just happen, so the things that happen are beyond your control, which means you have a random destiny. I, on the other hand, define my destiny, in other words, you are more in the determinism camp than I am...

  9. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by nolla View Post
    I really could think this way, but I choose not to, since it is a lot more useful to think that I have the absolute control over my live. You say that things just happen, so the things that happen are beyond your control, which means you have a random destiny. I, on the other hand, define my destiny, in other words, you are more in the determinism camp than I am...
    I don't think that (the bold part) is what he was saying at all.

    I gathered from his posts: "there is no meaning unless you give it meaning"

    Nothing more.

  10. #20
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    If the things that happen, just happen, and there is no control over them, they would happen that way anyways. This can be called Destiny.

    (I don't really disagree that much, but I like this kind of mind-plays)

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