These are what I've observed living with an ISTP and INTP. I've also noticed this to varying extent with the ITPs I've had more than acquaintance level experience with. My gripes spiral out into a multitude of other issues, but here they are:
Apathy, I've just had to not care about because if they don't care, why should I? But this is where the surprisingly emotional comes out. They don't care, but they want you to care when they do care and react horribly when you finally don't give a fuck anymore. I've seen some awe inspiring tantrums arise for the worse of these moments.
The nitpickiness is something that happens with the INTPs and ISTPs at work, which is why I keep my conversation with them limited to the mundane. I seem to have less problems about this with ISTPs because they have some sense and ability to pick up on subtle and minor body language like loud sighing, evil glares, stomping on their feet under the table, soda cans being thrown at their heads, and people cursing at them and getting up and leaving. Sadly, none of this registers with INTPs.
Anytime the conversation goes into one of the "deep and intellectual" topics people around here pine don't you dare contradict an INTP. They use their Ne to tell you all the various ways you're stupid. I do think some of those are clever and I have to laugh. Even my INTP friend that I like, does this to me and I have to tell her to chill when she's doing it. Sometimes I don't say anything because I can tell she's put a lot of thought into it and I hate to take away the few joys she has since nearly nothing rouses her out of her abject state of apathy but her musings on Bioshock and House.
And everything comes full circle.
Relationships have normal ebbs and flows. They do not automatically get better and better when the participants learn more and more about each other. Instead, the participants have to work through the tensions of the relationship (the dialectic) while they learn and group themselves and a parties in a relationships. At times the relationships is very open and sharing. Other time, one or both parties to the relationship need their space, or have other concerns, and the relationship is less open. The theory posits that these cycles occur throughout the life of the relationship as the persons try to balance their needs for privacy and open relationship. Interpersonal Communication Theories and Concepts Social Penetration Theory 1 Social Penetration Theory 2 Social Penetration Theory 3
In fact, I'm thinking that any unhealthy type is the type you don't want to be around.
With that said, the person in my life that I actively avoid is an extremely unhealthy ISFJ.
I can't have a conversation with her. It is all one-sided. Anything that I manage to slip in is effectively twisted for her self-victimization for LIFE. And without me being given a chance to explain what I meant.
Then, years down the line that same thing I said is brought up as 'proof' of what she has been through but I am still not allowed to talk it out with her.
Everything is about her and/or related to her interests in victimizing herself and making you look bad.
"My mom told me there was a weirdo on every bus, but I never could find him." Emo Phillips