I guess it's the lack of understanding I was talking about earlier. Many people fear what they don't understand. And I know from my own bad traits (and from the type descriptions and some stories on here) that a bad ESFJ would be quite a nutcase. Like the crazy ex-wife or religious nut mother or something like that. But I never think to myself "What an asshole that INTP is." INTPs, what do you do that sucks and would make me dislike you?
Right now you're judging INTPs because some of them fear what they don't understand. But you still seem to think you have taken the high road.
You know, if I wanted to complain about INTPs I could. I am well-versed in your ITP ways since my bro and sis are both ITPs.
Fortunately for me no one irritates me that much that I'd cower before them and rant about them online instead of doing it to their face where it actually matters. I work with a ton of ESFJs and maybe two of them manifest the behavior people act like the normal ESFJ behaves.
And it's so funny cause one of my INTP coworkers who is incapable of using a simple vending machine and has cried several times because she's can't operate Outlook hates one of my ESFJ coworkers. I think she hates the fact that she's actually functional in the real world and doesn't wilt over stupid stuff. And what I see is the INTP picking everything the ESFJ does apart even down to telling her she's stupid for buying name brand Motrin instead of the generic version of ibuprofen and then launched into some diatribe about formulary drugs. Which is in part why the ESFJ reacts towards the INTP the way she does, because she's always belittling her intelligence.
That's just the stuff that's happened within the last week over lunch. Which is why I hardly believe that ESFJs are the scourge of INTPs. I'm pretty sure INTPs do just as much back. Underneath it seems to be the dogmatic belief that the INTP is right and the ESFJ never is. Seems like two sides of the same coin to me.
Relationships have normal ebbs and flows. They do not automatically get better and better when the participants learn more and more about each other. Instead, the participants have to work through the tensions of the relationship (the dialectic) while they learn and group themselves and a parties in a relationships. At times the relationships is very open and sharing. Other time, one or both parties to the relationship need their space, or have other concerns, and the relationship is less open. The theory posits that these cycles occur throughout the life of the relationship as the persons try to balance their needs for privacy and open relationship. Interpersonal Communication Theories and Concepts Social Penetration Theory 1 Social Penetration Theory 2 Social Penetration Theory 3
The immature ones are easy to recognise and avoid. It is the mature ESFJ malignant ones that are dangerous. Three together is nearly fatal. Four Crazy Horse and it would be fatal. But they come with others attached unless they have been sussed as a sadist early on.