puremerc you are probably weak sensor. while I don't know you irl, you don't seem like any of the ESFJ people I know unless male ESFJ's differ a lot from the females.
That's a possibility, and I am very strong on the E and J, and less so on the S and F, but it's pretty consistent. I've gotten ESFJ, ENFJ, ESTJ, and (once) ENTJ. I just do not vibe with the awful accounts of interactions with ESFJs on here from some people (generally INTPs and INFPs, it seems) who make us sound like insane, irrational bullies. Ever read a type description of ESFJs? Don't we sound exceedingly nice most of the time?
Who wants to try a bottle of merc's "Extroversion Olive Oil?"
OK, Ye Who Are As Pure As The Winter's First Snowfall.
Relationships have normal ebbs and flows. They do not automatically get better and better when the participants learn more and more about each other. Instead, the participants have to work through the tensions of the relationship (the dialectic) while they learn and group themselves and a parties in a relationships. At times the relationships is very open and sharing. Other time, one or both parties to the relationship need their space, or have other concerns, and the relationship is less open. The theory posits that these cycles occur throughout the life of the relationship as the persons try to balance their needs for privacy and open relationship. Interpersonal Communication Theories and Concepts Social Penetration Theory 1 Social Penetration Theory 2 Social Penetration Theory 3
My ESFJ friend helped me maintain order against the STJ cabal in school. He was upbeat, smart, funny and yes, very imposing at times. ESFJs are a force of nature. Any force can be harmful. Too much rain, too much sun.
He and I took a horribly abused ISFP under our protection to keep people off. We didn't discuss it before hand, just gave each other a look. He and I knew what to do, and we did it.
On the ugly side, there's Jen's neighbor.
eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
EII-Fi subtype, Ethical/Empath, Delta/Beta
AIS Holland code
I have one good friend who is an ESFJ. She hasn't taken any tests, but I know her very well and there is no way she could be any other type. She is a wonderful wife and mother. Dotes on her children and very patient with them. Her kids are very annoying and her twins are spaz's but she just carries on as if everything is great. Her husband I believe is an ISTJ and If he were my husband I'd kick his ass. He is so controlling and calls her constantly to check and make sure shes mopped the floor or some other inane crap. he's such a dick.
That's a possibility, and I am very strong on the E and J, and less so on the S and F, but it's pretty consistent. I've gotten ESFJ, ENFJ, ESTJ, and (once) ENTJ. I just do not vibe with the awful accounts of interactions with ESFJs on here from some people (generally INTPs and INFPs, it seems) who make us sounds like insane, irrational bullies. Ever read a type description of ESFJs? Don't we sound exceedingly nice most of the time?
I'm convinced you are an emotionally & intellectually mature person, one who does more than meets their needs, but follows activities of self-actualization to better yourself.
I'm also convinced most of these ESFJ "horror stories" refer to folks who aren't one tenth as mature as you are. There is a very, very wide difference between the mindsets of these two types of people--of ANY type. The real question should be, why do people bitch so loudly about the immature ESFJ examples?