You know what to do.
Why do you all talk so fast?
Why can't I ask you guys questions?
If I ask an innocent question relevant to what we're all doing, why do you react all defensively? How come you never have any of the answers and yet you're still passing? Have you paid any attention at all?
Why are you so fat? Lose some weight.
Why do you waddle side to side when you walk?
How many boyfriends do you even have?
How can you afford to buy those thick-pleated plaid hipster shirts and the deadmau5 headphones and the gold chains and all that junk?
Where are you even getting all this money?
How come you're allowed to skateboard home, where there's no sidewalk, but if I tried to walk home I'd get arrested?
How come you guys never get caught?
How do you get away with everything?
Why am I literally worse than Hitler?
How come if I'm the same sex I was when I was born, somehow I need to die?
Is there any feasible way to disagree with your incorrect views without you taking it personally?
Why are you so boring?
Why do you keep and collect all this useless junk?
Why do you sigh all the time?
Why do you panic over everything? Can you help it? Is it a genetic disease? Does it do something sexual for you? Are you aware that you're panicking?
Why do you always think I'm angry? Why do you care?
Why are you gravitated towards being everything I'm mortally afraid of becoming?
Why am I some sort of weird romantic hero to you, when all I'm really trying to do is look out for myself?
Why are you so depressed?
Why do I feel like you're on some ongoing mission to make everyone else as miserable as you are?
Why don't you like anything?
Why do you react to any question, statement, joke, or piece of conversation as a hostile attack?
Why can't I make you react, no matter what I say?
Why do you preach bullshit, even though everyone else can see pretty clearly it's bullshit?
How come you say you have a whole book of "legendary heroes" and you're gonna get rich when you publish it someday, but it's really just an overbloated torn-up notebook of DragonBall Z fanfics with poor handwriting and shoddy illustrations?
If you're so tough, why do you threaten to call the authorities when I tell you a sex joke?