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  1. #31
    FRACTALICIOUS phobik's Avatar
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    pai up bishes
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    Music provides one of the clearest examples of a much deeper relation between mathematics and human experience.

  2. #32
    Emperor/Dictator kyuuei's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by skylights View Post
    That said, the few times I have doled out "punishments", they are typically rather gentle and silly, like a group singing a foreign alphabet backwards together or having to take a shot of a particularly bad-tasting liquor. My boyfriend and I will make silly bets involving one of us buying the other something we would be likely to buy for them anyway. I guess I typically go for "no real loss" scenarios. I understand intense competition when it comes to staged skill-building, like in sports, but when it comes to recreation, I prefer everyone to simply go home feeling like they had an enjoyable time. If the loser ends up feeling bad, I end up feeling bad too, and then that's not fun for either of us.
    Like. Half of your reply does not compute. You just said 'I don't like forfeits, they make me stressed out and uncomfortable'.. Then.. You literally named a number of forfeits here.. I still feel like everyone is mistaking competition for intensity.. and upping a bit of intensity does not take away from the game, nor does it have to turn the game into something intense by definition.

    I think racking pool balls is a very common one, and really bland. The examples I made are all things I've either had to do myself as a result of losing, or a game I played in where I could have easily been in that slot. Usually these things are decided before you even play.. I don't know where everyone is getting this flowery, "Oh, if they feel bad it is just not fun anymore " clearly if you've DONE it and everyone was cool no one felt bad about it. You just listed several--like the bad-tasting liquor shot.. it isn't something I would agree to prior to playing.. I dislike drinking bad liquor enough to decline that and make a different rule for myself if I lose. ... but that doesn't mean it's a BAD bully thing you did by creating that rule. It worked in your dynamic. I don't need all the tiny flowery details. I just wanted to know what you did when you played games.

    Yours may not be as intense as mine.. and most of mine certainly are not as intense as my examples. For example, our go-to truth-or-dare dare forfeit was you had to answer two truths and you couldn't pass on a question. It ups the intensity just enough to make incentives for the dare, but not so impossible that it would stress people out who were willing to play at all. It's mild, but it still qualifies. I've listed several mild examples.. and yet I'm still getting frowny-faced replies. Which in turn is making me frowny-faced.. so sorry if this seems like I'm lashing out at you. -_- it's just troublesome.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    I just don't understand why everyone on this forum has such a... visceral reaction to the idea. I feel like I should have done a lame "TRIGGER WARNING: If you are a wallflower at the parties, dislike social games, and/or have anxiety in groups of people for fear of being seen, DO NOT READ THIS."

    Like @whatever said.. People frequently get overly emotional about content they didn't even bother reading or truly replying to... and then it's revealed that many people actually DO do these things, just in different ways, which is EXACTLY the content I was looking for in the first place. I don't really want to create new content where I have to preface everything I say with a disclaimer 100 pages long just to make all the feels feel acknowledged.

    It makes me feel like this place isn't a place I want to create new content for. Because everyone's really super busy making me out to be an un-magnanimous leader and a bully somehow like I'm FORCING poor unfortunate souls to embarrass themselves in front of the masses for committing the sin of participating in a game. Instead of getting input, which clearly people have, for the exact thing I wanted input for.
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  3. #33

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    I'm one of the most competitive people I know, which is why I think I don't like to make people do anything. Nothing I could make them do would feel as good as simply winning does, so I don't see the point.

    All they have to do to make me happy is lose.
    Everybody have fun tonight. Everybody Wang Chung tonight.

    Johari
    /Nohari

  4. #34
    Strongly Ambivalent Ivy's Avatar
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    I don't think this is the humiliating fraternity hazing scenario lots of folks seem to be thinking of. It's something silly and fun that grows organically out of the specific group playing. While I personally would not want to count to ten with my butt and I can't see that ever being a thing in my family or any of my circles of friends, I can see how it would just be a dumb funny thing everybody agrees on in other groups of friends. Most of the time I imagine it's not that creative- probably mostly stuff like "loser gets the next round" if you're playing darts at a bar or whatever. I mean, I've done that. It's no big deal.

  5. #35
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    @kyuuei - I'm sorry, you caught me before I edited. I tried to make it more clear.

    I don't have a problem with what you're saying, and I'm sorry that you felt like my response was out of line. I am trying to get across that I shy away from that kind of situation. It is not because I disapprove of what you are doing, or feel like you are a bad person for doing it. It is because I feel personally uncomfortable. I tried to share my experiences, which you have dismissed as "flowery" thinking, and the few examples I do have.

    This is what I have to share on this topic, so I shared it. It has nothing to do with making you feel like a bully and I am sort of confused as to why you took it that way. My personal response was not emotional at all, but just trying to share my experiences because I found your topic interesting.



    Actually one of my examples was from sorority hazing - the singing one. Lol. I have a fair number of of funny hazing stories, but I don't know that they're the sort of response that you're looking for, either.

  6. #36
    Strongly Ambivalent Ivy's Avatar
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    I think the specific examples in the OP were probably a tiny bit distracting but I imagine almost everyone has done this in some way. I have probably made whichever one of my kids came in last at Munchkin unload the dishwasher, or something like that.

  7. #37
    Emperor/Dictator kyuuei's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by skylights View Post
    I tried to share my experiences, which you have dismissed as "flowery" thinking, and the few examples I do have.

    This is what I have to share on this topic, so I shared it. It has nothing to do with making you feel like a bully and I am sort of confused as to why you took it that way. My personal response was not emotional at all, but just trying to share my experiences because I found your topic interesting.
    It isn't yours in particular. It's yours on top of the 3 pages prior. When you write things like, 'I've done this before.... But I don't like these things because when people don't enjoy themselves then I don't enjoy myself, and the game isn't fun anymore' it implies that the things I've mentioned (since no content has been given on the actual subject besides my examples in the thread... excluding Starry) are bullying things meant to hurt others. Like this premise is somehow the foundation of the subject matter at hand. And to me, it feels as absurd as like making a 40 year old dad coaching a girl's softball team to preface everything he says with, "But I don't like little girls like that. Promise. Now, you need to throw the ball like this Sally." It's offensive and annoying, even though it definitely was not your comments alone.. and I would have even appreciated your content as is--if I hadn't had 3 pages of garbage being tossed at me like a bad stage performer in the 30s prior to it. The subject matter just isn't there to discuss serious issues people have with social anxiety, and how competition and games are just seen as negative bad things.... It.. Was.. suppose to be light hearted content.

    Actually one of my examples was from sorority hazing - the singing one. Lol. I have a fair number of of funny hazing stories, but I don't know that they're the sort of response that you're looking for, either.
    The singing example was fine. All of your examples were fine, and they fit the content perfectly in their own right. I was looking for things people "have to" (read: Agree to) do if they lose at a game. Something opposite of it, like things winners do (aka victory dances) are welcomed because they relate to the subject, and bets and deals (like Ivy's dishwasher reference) definitely count.

    What I didn't want is replies that imply that I'm a total monster. Which.. 3 pages of people screaming about consent and uncomfortable social awkwardness later.. makes me feel that way. And.. now, honestly, even though I'm actually getting content.. it feel contrived, and forced, and not at all enjoyable anymore... Since the thread can't just go away, and the title won't even be changed, I'm just unsubscribing. I don't like things like this. People turned something I thought was great into something disgusting.
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  8. #38
    Analytical Dreamer Coriolis's Avatar
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    When you impose a punishment on the loser, this becomes just an extension of the rules of the game. Everyone playing agrees to abide by them, so if they lose, then they do whatever the penalty was for losing. Yes, in this sense it just extends the competitive fun of the game, especially if players are evenly matched enough that next time, the other side may get the penalty. The closest thing to this I have actually played are drinking games (e.g. get something wrong and take a swig of schnapps), but then this is almost in its own category.

    I did get sent to the grog bowl at a dining-in, though; does that count?
    I've been called a criminal, a terrorist, and a threat to the known universe. But everything you were told is a lie. The truth is, they've taken our freedom, our home, and our future. The time has come for all humanity to take a stand...

  9. #39
    Senior citizen velveteen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hard View Post
    I don't play games like this *shrug*. I garner no joy from making people do stuff like that.
    This.

  10. #40
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    Who's the stick-in-the-mud now? :\

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