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  1. #21
    Analytical Dreamer Coriolis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kyuuei View Post
    I mean.. it isn't a big thing. But it is fun to feel competitiveness in one's life. It's fun to say, "Hah! You made up that stupid rule, and now YOU have to do it!" It's really just a way to create pretend pressure in a non-pressure sort of thing. I mean, games can be fun in their own right, but sometimes at parties and stuff it's fun to act silly and do silly things--that's sort of what makes parties lively. You add excitement with something free and not really that embarrassing.

    I mean, is it seriously THAT distressing for everyone on the forum to say, "Oh, I lost at this nonsensical game.. and Now I have to write numbers in the air. With my butt. In front of my friends. I'll never recover. "

    I can't imagine everyone on here is THAT stressed out about acting a bit silly in their lives.
    I will act silly when I feel like it, in my own time and on my own terms. I don't need to be "forced" into it. In fact, I cannot be forced: I either consent, or I do not. I encounter enough real-life competitiveness. At work, I must compete for funds and sometimes personnel. I am about to compete for a new job. The stakes are real, and they are high. The competition exists not to provide fun for me, but (in theory) to ensure the best outcome for the organization giving out the funds or hiring into the job. I take it very seriously, and generally get favorable results, which is all the reward I need.

    Sure, playing games can be fun, but there I have the luxury of competing against myself more than anything. Can I play better than I did last time? Did my skills improve? Have I learned to trust my instincts more? I don't need artificial pressure. If I'm not willing to try my best to win, the activity is probably not engaging enough for me to bother with. Not everyone approaches games or recreational competition the same way, or gets the same things out of it. That doesn't make us sticks in the mud, just not you.
    I've been called a criminal, a terrorist, and a threat to the known universe. But everything you were told is a lie. The truth is, they've taken our freedom, our home, and our future. The time has come for all humanity to take a stand...

  2. #22
    Emperor/Dictator kyuuei's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Coriolis View Post
    That doesn't make us sticks in the mud, just not you.
    My comment about being sticks in the mud was my very tongue in cheek attempt to point out that *this thread apparently doesn't apply to anyone posting in here, but everyone wants to post for the sake of it.* If I ask what cartoon was your favorite as a kid, and EVERYONE who replies is just like "I don't even like cartoons" "I don't watch cartoons" "I think cartoons are for children" then clearly I wasn't trying to address that crowd in the first place. I am very aware already, without the help of this thread, there's people who don't do this and don't like it, and I respect that.. but I wasn't really looking for their responses either. One of two replies in a group of them isn't a bother.. but EVERY reply? Yeah, it's irking. Similarly, if you asked me what my favorite romantic comedy is, I might preface it with a, "I don't know many.." but I'd at least offer input if I was posting. ".. but I think the Addams family had a great romance."
    I can see someone going, "Is this a thing? I never knew. " ... or "I've seen some people make the losing team get the next round of drinks, or set up the next game for pool."

    But it's just really annoying when I'm talking about something that, yeah, ISNT really a big deal, happens all the time for fun, and people actually enjoy it even if they're the ones doing it.... and I just ask what people have done, and everyone waltzes in on might steeds of independence declaring they shall not be oppressed by stipulations if they lose a game. Jeezus. Brittney Spears got more of a reply than the actual topic of the OP.

    And when I request to just get the thread taken down because, clearly, it's just a large hogwash of derailing and nonsensical posts, the response I get is .... More Brittney Spears, and a reply about how no one can force you to do anything. No shit.
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  3. #23
    Nyarlathotep ESFJ's Avatar
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    Sign their souls over to me.
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  4. #24
    Undisciplined Starry's Avatar
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    kyuuei haha.


    My extended family has a variety of "I just kicked all of your asses" songs we sing...standing up of course. All very reminiscent of the Chicken Dance...
    edit: oh whoops I read this wrong. I subject all the losers to mocking, dancing, gesturing and singing.



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  5. #25
    Administrator highlander's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kyuuei View Post
    My comment about being sticks in the mud was my very tongue in cheek attempt to point out that *this thread apparently doesn't apply to anyone posting in here, but everyone wants to post for the sake of it.* If I ask what cartoon was your favorite as a kid, and EVERYONE who replies is just like "I don't even like cartoons" "I don't watch cartoons" "I think cartoons are for children" then clearly I wasn't trying to address that crowd in the first place. I am very aware already, without the help of this thread, there's people who don't do this and don't like it, and I respect that.. but I wasn't really looking for their responses either. One of two replies in a group of them isn't a bother.. but EVERY reply? Yeah, it's irking. Similarly, if you asked me what my favorite romantic comedy is, I might preface it with a, "I don't know many.." but I'd at least offer input if I was posting. ".. but I think the Addams family had a great romance."
    I can see someone going, "Is this a thing? I never knew. " ... or "I've seen some people make the losing team get the next round of drinks, or set up the next game for pool."

    But it's just really annoying when I'm talking about something that, yeah, ISNT really a big deal, happens all the time for fun, and people actually enjoy it even if they're the ones doing it.... and I just ask what people have done, and everyone waltzes in on might steeds of independence declaring they shall not be oppressed by stipulations if they lose a game. Jeezus. Brittney Spears got more of a reply than the actual topic of the OP.

    And when I request to just get the thread taken down because, clearly, it's just a large hogwash of derailing and nonsensical posts, the response I get is .... More Brittney Spears, and a reply about how no one can force you to do anything. No shit.
    We can't delete threads like that though we did remove derail stuff including my own Britney Spears post . Maybe it will help to give you a more robust and clear answer.

    I actually love competing. When i was growing up, I was constantly competing against my friends in all sorts of things - playing sports, class rank, games, making the best rockets, even the best bug collection (had to do it for a class). We did this every day. It is the biggest thing that I miss from my childhood. We would compete against each other and then poke fun at each other, like "you suck. you will never be as good as i am." which would motivate us even more.

    The thing is that I just enjoyed it for competition's sake. We all did. Except for cards/gambling, there was no reward or punishment attached. I would say that people would get very upset sometimes if they lost a lot of money at cards though because we didn't have much.

    So, I think that for some of us, we just enjoy the competition for its own sake. We like winning. We like improving our skills at something. We enjoy the thrill of a close competition. We don't need anything else.

    Does that make sense? It's not to say there is anything wrong to attach winning or losing to some extra reward or punishment. I think a lot of people do that. It's just that some of us don't need that. I actually find it to be a little bit of a distraction unless it is like strip poker or something.

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  6. #26
    Emperor/Dictator kyuuei's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Starry View Post
    kyuuei haha.


    My extended family has a variety of "I just kicked all of your asses" songs we sing...standing up of course. All very reminiscent of the Chicken Dance...
    edit: oh whoops I read this wrong. I subject all the losers to mocking, dancing, gesturing and singing.
    No no, you've got it right. I like victory dances/songs, while the losers of the game almost always think it's super lame until they get to do it hahaha so they're just sitting through it.

    Quote Originally Posted by highlander View Post
    We would compete against each other and then poke fun at each other, like "you suck. you will never be as good as i am." which would motivate us even more.
    Yeah, until you grow out of it and realize that your success in that really doesn't mean shit. So, instead of having a childish attitude motivating you.. you sort of collect childish things. Like, really, why should the loser rack the pool table? There's no reason for it. But that's just what people do. It's a slight childish victory that really isn't that invasive and pretends to be some quasi motivation for avoiding losing. It isn't truly shameful or punishment to rack pool balls.. I mean, you gotta do it anyways to play again... but it's just something created for the fun of making competition appear. We all know the truth. We're all adults. And losing isn't that shameful, you play for the game. So it's not truly upping the stakes making up stupid silly things losers or winners have to do.

    Does that make sense? It's not to say there is anything wrong to attach winning or losing to some extra reward or punishment. I think a lot of people do that. It's just that some of us don't need that. I actually find it to be a little bit of a distraction unless it is like strip poker or something.
    I think people are getting really caught up in the terminology. There's something about this forum, where seeing the words 'punishment' 'loser' and/or 'make/making people' that just instantly makes them shut down without even giving thought to a concept.

    Strip poker has a loser must scenario. Bets have a loser must scenario. Gambling has a loser must scenario. They all do. They're there for a reason. Sometimes, they make games that might otherwise be pretty dull entertaining. They shake things up and create new spins. It isn't like the losers are blindsided by these rules after they've started playing or anything. They know what they're getting into.

    But, for me, I don't like gambling money. I don't like truly calling out and making fun of people who lose at games. I think there's serious stuff wrong with gambling for money and rubbing it in people's faces like that, and I see it devastate people's lives (gambling in particular). I'd much rather gamble for something innocent but just as competitive feeling, like the losers having to make the next round of drinks, or a guy BEGGING me to play a game I don't want to play and so I make the stipulation he has to wear his girlfriend's make up the whole night if he loses..., or having to bring food for the party next time like my dad's group does. I think those things are far more fun, and bring spark to a party than just "Hey guys! Let's play tic tac toe and sing Kumbia together after! Because we're all winners in my book. "
    Kantgirl: Just say "I'm feminine and I'll punch anyone who says otherwise!"
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  7. #27
    Senior Member Bamboo's Avatar
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    Since people are seemingly getting upset or anxious over this, to clarify, there's a difference between playing around with some silly competition and actually being forced to do something. At a party it might be fun to joke around with the other team, for instance I played a group vs group game recently where my team crushed the other team, they didn't score even a point. It was fun to goose them a bit to get into the next game (this time with remixed teams), but it was all done in a cheerful spirit.

    This is the sort of thing that can be done without interrupting the people who just want to focus on some skill or just want to play for fun and don't care about who really wins. In fact I created the game for the express purpose of simply getting everyone in the room involved, the competition simply livens people up a bit but I didn't really care that much who actually won, it was fun either way. Some people played to be social, other people played for the actual fun of focusing on the game itself. I don't think anyone really cared who won or not but of course we played to win. At least I did.

    If you're just a quiet person who doesn't want to get into a rowdy time that's well and good, but in life you have to have some gusto to deal with things. I find messing with each other a little can refresh and accentuate that spirit, and when it's done wrong it's just being mean, but when it's done right it really can get people to hold their own quirks and goofs and wins and losses up with pride. It encourages people to actually see each other's differences in a good way, because everyone adds flavor to the pot.
    Don't know how much it'll bend til it breaks.

  8. #28
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    Lol, I do not go hard. Two problems for me: one, I don't like feeling stressed out during my recreation/downtime (this does not count sports). So I usually avoid very competitive games. The one exception to this is if someone is being an arrogant asshole, in which case I will do my best to take them down - but then it becomes more of a stress-inducing strategy challenge than a fun game. Two, the empathy thing - if the loser ends up feeling bad, I end up feeling bad too, maybe even worse because I can't always gauge the extent to which they feel bad, and then that sucks for both of us - to the extent that I would rather let the other person win than to see them upset.

    The few times I have doled out "punishments", they are typically rather gentle and silly, like a group singing a foreign alphabet backwards together or having to take a shot of a particularly bad-tasting liquor. I don't usually see a reason to add more consequence than that. The pride of winning versus the shame of losing seems motivational enough.

  9. #29
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    we are a very competitive household, and while we don't have any forfeit rituals of the sort we will both rub your loss in your face so hard you'll wish that we did... we do the same to one another as well and have quite the fun with it

    we will remind you of your failure at unspecified and unexpected occasions in the future as well... it keeps people on their toes

    needless to say, we don't have many couple friends (he has friends...)

    on another note though, some here are the emotional equivalent of a ford pinto it's the reason for my absences...
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

  10. #30
    Administrator highlander's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kyuuei View Post

    But, for me, I don't like gambling money. I don't like truly calling out and making fun of people who lose at games. I think there's serious stuff wrong with gambling for money and rubbing it in people's faces like that, and I see it devastate people's lives (gambling in particular). I'd much rather gamble for something innocent but just as competitive feeling, like the losers having to make the next round of drinks, or a guy BEGGING me to play a game I don't want to play and so I make the stipulation he has to wear his girlfriend's make up the whole night if he loses..., or having to bring food for the party next time like my dad's group does. I think those things are far more fun, and bring spark to a party than just "Hey guys! Let's play tic tac toe and sing Kumbia together after! Because we're all winners in my book. "
    Haha!

    On gambling, I can see what you mean there that it can be really bad. Some people have a problem with it. For me personally, I hate losing so much more than I like winning that I could never really get into that. I think it's ok with friends because you have even odds. At the casino or racetrack, the odds are against you. The longer you play, the more you lose. I did win $600 in a Casino in Monte Carlo once. I was on a streak, like i couldn't lose. Generally though when you go into casinos, you lose money.

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