User Tag List

12311 Last

Results 1 to 10 of 211

Thread: Mom Quotes

  1. #1
    The Green Jolly Robin H.
    Join Date
    Oct 2014
    MBTI
    ENTJ
    Posts
    1,664

    Default Mom Quotes

    Self explanatory.

    mom: did you see the new cornelian dogwood tree out front?
    me: no
    mom: same name as your sister.
    me: oh.
    "i shut the door and in the morning
    it was open
    -the end"




    Olemn slammed his hammer and from the sparks on the metal of his anvil came the spheres of the heavens.

    Sayrah blew life into the spheres and they moved. From her wheel she weaved the names of people in to mystery.

  2. #2
    Meta Hard's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2014
    MBTI
    ENFJ
    Enneagram
    1w2 sp/so
    Socionics
    EIE Fe
    Posts
    7,613

    Default

    5 years ago.

    Mom: Did you know I use sea salt because it contains less sodium?
    Me: *snort* Mom, sea salt does not contain less sodium.
    Mom: Yes it does, it said on the package label!
    Me: Mom, the package was lying, sometimes that stuff happens.
    Mom: I'm sure it wasn't. They must have done something to the salt to make it have less sodium.
    Me: You can't change salt.
    Mom: Oh I'm sure you can, there must be a way.
    Me: No, you can't, salt is salt and that's how it is.
    Mom: But...
    Me: NO! Salt is SALT, if you remove sodium, you have deadly chlorine gas!

    20 minutes of discussion later including showing countless things to her.

    Mom: *sigh* I am going to go for a walk.

    Poor sad thing.
    MBTI: ExxJ tetramer
    Functions: Fe > Te > Ni > Se > Si > Ti > Fi > Ne
    Enneagram: 1w2 - 3w4 - 6w5 (The Taskmaster) | sp/so
    Socionics: β-E dimer | -
    Big 5: slOaI
    Temperament: Choleric/Melancholic
    Alignment: Lawful Neutral
    External Perception: Nohari and Johari

    Likes GarrotTheThief, Ivy, Yaru, cm81, Showbread and 4 others liked this post

  3. #3
    The Green Jolly Robin H.
    Join Date
    Oct 2014
    MBTI
    ENTJ
    Posts
    1,664

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Hard View Post
    5 years ago.

    Mom: Did you know I use sea salt because it contains less sodium?
    Me: *snort* Mom, sea salt does not contain less sodium.
    Mom: Yes it does, it said on the package label!
    Me: Mom, the package was lying, sometimes that stuff happens.
    Mom: I'm sure it wasn't. They must have done something to the salt to make it have less sodium.
    Me: You can't change salt.
    Mom: Oh I'm sure you can, there must be a way.
    Me: No, you can't, salt is salt and that's how it is.
    Mom: But...
    Me: NO! Salt is SALT, if you remove sodium, you have deadly chlorine gas!

    20 minutes of discussion later including showing countless things to her.

    Mom: *sigh* I am going to go for a walk.

    Poor sad thing.
    "Me: No, you can't, salt is salt and that's how it is.
    Mom: But..."

    "i shut the door and in the morning
    it was open
    -the end"




    Olemn slammed his hammer and from the sparks on the metal of his anvil came the spheres of the heavens.

    Sayrah blew life into the spheres and they moved. From her wheel she weaved the names of people in to mystery.
    Likes Hard, cm81 liked this post

  4. #4
    Meta Hard's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2014
    MBTI
    ENFJ
    Enneagram
    1w2 sp/so
    Socionics
    EIE Fe
    Posts
    7,613

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by GarrotTheThief View Post
    "Me: No, you can't, salt is salt and that's how it is.
    Mom: But..."

    That was me actually cutting her off mid sentance, but there were moments where she was sorta stammering in frustration, in particular when I showed her the elemental breakdown of sea salt on wikipedia using the nice visual aid of a piechart.
    MBTI: ExxJ tetramer
    Functions: Fe > Te > Ni > Se > Si > Ti > Fi > Ne
    Enneagram: 1w2 - 3w4 - 6w5 (The Taskmaster) | sp/so
    Socionics: β-E dimer | -
    Big 5: slOaI
    Temperament: Choleric/Melancholic
    Alignment: Lawful Neutral
    External Perception: Nohari and Johari

    Likes GarrotTheThief liked this post

  5. #5
    Suave y Fuerte BadOctopus's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2014
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Enneagram
    5w4 sp/sx
    Posts
    3,274

    Default

    Me: "Tilly (her dog) is heavier than she looks."
    Mom: "She's the Amazing Hulk."
    Me: "You mean the Incredible Hulk?"
    Mom: "Whatever."

    Mom: "Never trust any establishment that spells 'Cozy' with a K."

    Mom (on Valentine's Day): "Happy Half-Off Chocolate Eve!"
    WOOP WOOP WOOP
    Likes five sounds, GarrotTheThief, cm81, Codex liked this post

  6. #6
    Analytical Dreamer Coriolis's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Enneagram
    5w6 sp/sx
    Posts
    16,248

    Default

    Mom, to nextdoor neighbor: "What a lovely dress!"

    Mom, telling Dad about the conversation later: " . . . and she was wearing the most hideous green dress!"
    I've been called a criminal, a terrorist, and a threat to the known universe. But everything you were told is a lie. The truth is, they've taken our freedom, our home, and our future. The time has come for all humanity to take a stand...

  7. #7

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Coriolis View Post
    Mom, to nextdoor neighbor: "What a lovely dress!"

    Mom, telling Dad about the conversation later: " . . . and she was wearing the most hideous green dress!"
    ESFJ?
    Likes Babybop, EonsInTheNight liked this post

  8. #8

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Hard View Post
    5 years ago.

    Mom: Did you know I use sea salt because it contains less sodium?
    Me: *snort* Mom, sea salt does not contain less sodium.
    Mom: Yes it does, it said on the package label!
    Me: Mom, the package was lying, sometimes that stuff happens.
    Mom: I'm sure it wasn't. They must have done something to the salt to make it have less sodium.
    Me: You can't change salt.
    Mom: Oh I'm sure you can, there must be a way.
    Me: No, you can't, salt is salt and that's how it is.
    Mom: But...
    Me: NO! Salt is SALT, if you remove sodium, you have deadly chlorine gas!

    20 minutes of discussion later including showing countless things to her.

    Mom: *sigh* I am going to go for a walk.

    Poor sad thing.
    Sea salt has less Iodine.

  9. #9
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    FREE
    Enneagram
    549 sx/sp
    Socionics
    LII Ne
    Posts
    41,807

    Default

    Me: So what are the directions again?

    Mom: So you drive down the road to that place, you know, the one with the tree in the front yard, where those people lived, you know, we visited them a few times and they were always nice to your father, he played in your dad's band although I guess you never met him; and then just down the road, and then you turn there and then there is this house down that street, with the driveway where they park their car, it's an old car although we had one like that once that was always in the shop, and... [so on and so on]

    Me: [throws pen]

    [For comparison, my ex-FIL the engineer would have said, "They live at [specific address], you want to drive 0.74 miles down the road, turn left at that stop sign, and they live right beyond the S-bend so be careful on the turn, and they have a brick house with a dark wood garage and drive a 1993 Volvo that is usually parked there.]
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  10. #10

    Default

    Driving my mom home after a family get-together at my uncle and aunt's place in the country (mom is extremely anxious and doesn't like driving at night, in bad weather, on the highway, etc.):

    *my phone vibrates, I have received a text message*
    ME: I just got a text message, can you read it to me?
    (I wanted to make sure it wasn't my uncle or aunt, telling me I'd forgotten something)
    MOM: It doesn't say anything.
    ME: ... Did I or did I not just get a text message?
    MOM: You did.
    ME: So please read it to me.
    MOM: It doesn't say anything.
    ME: What do you mean it doesn't say anything?
    MOM: It doesn't say anything!
    ME: What do you mean it doesn't say anything?!
    MOM: It doesn't say anything!!
    ME: Did I or did I not get a text message?!
    MOM: It doesn't say anything!
    ME: Oh for fuck's sake, gimme that thing!!
    *grab the phone from her and look at it, despite going 80 km/h on a dimly lit country road*

    It was a couple emojis from my aunt.

    MOM: See, it doesn't say anything!!
    ME: Then tell me it's a smiley face or whatever!! Christ, I feel like I'm in an Abbott and Costello skit! "Who's on first?" "Yes." "Yes what?" "That's the guy." "Who's the guy?" "The guy on first." "I'm asking you!" "And I'm telling you!" "... What's the name of the guy on first?" "No, What's on second." "I'M NOT ASKIN' ABOUT SECOND."
    Likes GarrotTheThief, Bknight liked this post

Quick Reply Quick Reply

  • :hi:
  • :bye:
  • :)
  • :hug:
  • :happy2:
  • :smile:
  • :wubbie:
  • :D
  • :wink:
  • ;)
  • :newwink:
  • :(
  • :cry:
  • :mad:
  • :dry:
  • :doh:
  • :shock:
  • :huh:
  • :shrug:
  • :blush:

Similar Threads

  1. [MBTItm] INTJ: How do others see you? (ISFJ mom's opinion of me)
    By Usehername in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 125
    Last Post: 09-03-2010, 09:20 PM
  2. Colorful Sayings/Quotes
    By ladypinkington in forum The Bonfire
    Replies: 39
    Last Post: 05-10-2010, 06:28 PM
  3. Words of Wisdom, Inspiring Quotes, etc
    By rivercrow in forum The Fluff Zone
    Replies: 33
    Last Post: 11-21-2008, 06:39 PM
  4. [MBTItm] Quote on Intution
    By heart in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: 07-15-2007, 01:28 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO