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Thread: Mom Quotes

  1. #21
    Strongly Ambivalent Array Ivy's Avatar
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    She whispered "gays" like she was afraid somebody in the neighborhood might hear it. Also, she used "gays" as a noun.

  2. #22
    Strongly Ambivalent Array Ivy's Avatar
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    Also it wasn't as much funny as facepalm-inducing.

  3. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    She whispered "gays" like she was afraid somebody in the neighborhood might hear it. Also, she used "gays" as a noun.


    my mom whispers "bra" and "underwear" still.

    classic mom quote:
    mom - "i'm so tired i haven't had coffee all day"
    dad - "i saw you have a cup this morning"
    mom - "no i mean i haven't been drinking it all day"

    also, say the time time is 10:15.
    mom - "it's going on 12!"
    You hem me in -- behind and before;
    you have laid your hand upon me.
    Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
    too lofty for me to attain.

    Likes Ivy, GarrotTheThief, cm81, gromit liked this post

  4. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by Coriolis View Post
    I almost agree with your Mom here. That's why I never use emoticons.


    Point was I asked her to read it and because it wasn't actually text her response wasn't "it's just a couple of little cartoon faces", her response was " it doesn't say anything ". As though I never got a message at all, which obviously was not true.

    This conversation actually went on for quite a while, and we were full-on yelling at each other by the end of it. I'd ask what she meant by "It doesn't say anything!" and she would just repeat "It doesn't say anything!"

    It's like my mother has bouts of autism. Every once in a while she interprets what someone says very literally and then can't explain what the hell she means when she responds.


    She's notably not adept with mobile phones. I bought her one years ago, and she very rarely uses it. Here's another "mom quote":

    She called me one day while she was out shopping with her sister. She left me a voicemail message. I just missed her call; I listened to the message within about a minute of her calling me. It said something to the effect of "I was just wondering what you're doing." Technically she didn't say "call me back," but it was implied.

    So I called her back. I called her back within about three minutes of her calling me. I got her voicemail. She had turned her phone off.

    She called me, she left me a message, and then she hung up and immediately turned her cell phone off.

    She called me again hours later from a landline. She said "I tried calling you earlier."
    "I know you did, I got the message. I called you back right away, within minutes of getting that phone call, and it went straight to your voicemail."
    "Oh, yeah, my phone wasn't on."
    "Why would you have called me and left me a message implying that you wanted me to call you back and then turn your phone off?"
    "Oh, I only use my cell phone when I need to make a call, and then I turn it off."
    "But what about when someone is trying to get a hold of YOU?"
    "Well I don't want the battery to run down!"
    "It comes with a charger, plug it into a wall later!"

  5. #25
    Senior Member Array Nicodemus's Avatar
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    This 93JC guy seems to have some anger issues.
    Likes cm81, BadOctopus liked this post

  6. #26
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    I was 17 and going out to celebrate New Year.

    Mom: Remember to take good care of yourself, then!
    Me: Okay.
    Mom: And if a stranger comes and talks to you, ignore them.
    Me: What if they won't leave? *rising an amused eyebrow*
    Mom: Then you first kick them in the crotch and then call the police.
    Me: ..what?
    Mom: Kick them in the crotch. With the heel.
    Me: I don't want to kick anyone, I'll just leave myself.
    Mom: It's not a matter of want, it's just the right thing to do.
    Me: Kicking people in sensitive areas?
    Mom: Exactly. Have fun!

    My mum is weird. But also kinda awesome..

  7. #27
    Senior Member Array cm81's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 93JC View Post


    Point was I asked her to read it and because it wasn't actually text her response wasn't "it's just a couple of little cartoon faces", her response was " it doesn't say anything ".

    Instead of being a rude, disrespectful jerk to your mom, you could have perhaps asked her what's in it, if anything. Touché to your mom, for giving you exactly what you asked for. (I would have put you in your place)
    "The true genius shudders at incompleteness, preferring silence to everything that it should be." Edgar Allen Poe

    "There's a magic inside,
    Just waiting to burst out.
    There world is a goldmine-
    That will melt tomorrow."M83

  8. #28
    Senior Member Array cm81's Avatar
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    My now seven year old daughter won't go near an electrical outlet.

    When she was around 16months (that impulsive, go against parental orders to see what they'll do in response phase, smiling at you, because they know what "no" means) and myself not being the sing song, "no no" mamma type, instead of repeating my request, knowing she wouldn't understand the dangers of becoming a shish kababy, I gave her an engaging, overly exaggerated theatrical performance about the "Electricity Monster who hides, "In therrrrrr" (I used to purr at her. I still do.)

    Problem solved.
    "The true genius shudders at incompleteness, preferring silence to everything that it should be." Edgar Allen Poe

    "There's a magic inside,
    Just waiting to burst out.
    There world is a goldmine-
    That will melt tomorrow."M83
    Likes prplchknz, gromit, Eruca liked this post

  9. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by cm81 View Post
    Instead of being a rude, disrespectful jerk to your mom, you could have perhaps asked her what's in it, if anything. Touché to your mom, for giving you exactly what you asked for. (I would have put you in your place)
    Thanks for this holier-than-thou bullshit. If I ever need lessons in how to be sanctimonious I'll be sure to ask you.

  10. #30
    Senior Member Array cm81's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 93JC View Post
    Thanks for this holier-than-thou bullshit. If I ever need lessons in how to be sanctimonious I'll be sure to ask you.
    If they can do it, you can too.


    "The true genius shudders at incompleteness, preferring silence to everything that it should be." Edgar Allen Poe

    "There's a magic inside,
    Just waiting to burst out.
    There world is a goldmine-
    That will melt tomorrow."M83

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