User Tag List

First 1119202122 Last

Results 201 to 210 of 211

Thread: Mom Quotes

  1. #201
    Strongly Ambivalent Ivy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    6
    Posts
    24,193

    Default

    I can't remember if I put this one in here before, but it doesn't matter. Two years ago my daughter applied to a study abroad language program through the NSA that would have taken her to Jordan or Morocco to learn Arabic. (She didn't get in so she didn't end up going, but she was pretty excited about it at the time.)

    My mom asked her how long she would be gone, and my daughter answered "six to eight weeks." My mom got this horrified look on her face and exclaimed: "Sixty-eight weeks?!"

    What a crazy old lady she was. Miss you, Mama.
    The one who buggers a fire burns his penis
    -anonymous graffiti in the basilica at Pompeii
    Likes magpie liked this post

  2. #202

    Default

    ESFJ Mother: Do you have clean underwear? I can send you more if you don't have enough.
    ENTP Brother: Mom! Who cares? I'm at war!
    Mother: Are you sure? You have to stay clean. It can't be comfortable with all that sand and heat.
    Brother: It's fine. (battle buddy laughing in the background because he can hear this convo)
    Mother: But what if you're hurt or die and the medic is attending you? Do you want them to see your racing stripes?
    Brother: I really doubt I'll care at that point Mom!!!

    (Update: She sent more underwear anyway. Cuz Mom.)
    "There is no god; there is only us. Savage and fragile."
    Likes Dyslexxie, MDP2525 liked this post

  3. #203
    I dare you :devil: geedoenfj's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2015
    MBTI
    ENFJ
    Enneagram
    6w7 sx/so
    Socionics
    EIE Fe
    Posts
    2,258

    Default

    You argue too much..
    What if I went their and find it myself?!
    You lazy people sleeping all day..
    I'm not feeling well..
    *endless medical analysis*
    Clinicians are not capable of doing their jobs..
    I wish I was never married and had children.
    No one listens to me when I say..
    I told you so..
    You're not cautious..
    Work for a cause not for Applause
    Live to express not to Impress



    "It's easier to complain than to take action to improve things" -JAVO

    6w7 > 1w2 > 4w3

    Likes Babybop liked this post

  4. #204
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    MBTI
    yupp
    Posts
    28,813

    Default

    not quotes but my mom mispronouces some things and no matter how many times you correct her she still says

    quinoa as qui-no-wa
    and jaritas as jareds

    she called me today and was like "I'm in cash saver looking for jared's soda" and I'm all like what? "i think i need the lime for sangria"
    "I'm like you know it's pronouced haritas," "oh yes jaritas" (still the j sound)
    *yodelling* AAAaaaaAAaaiiiiiiayyyyyyyy


    by @agentwashington

  5. #205
    Senior Member Eskimo2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2015
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Posts
    6,515

    Default

    Me: Woah... where are we? Why are we in a field in the middle of nowhere? Where ARE we going?

    Mom: To bury your body Eskimo. Just think- if we were to bury you hear no one would probably find you for years- the perfect plan.

    Me: Wha- what? I mean... I do suppose it is a good place to bury a body though. Nice and isolated- especially if you waited until it got a bit darker and then carried me farther into the field like behind those trees or something.

    Mom: Keep talking. I love how helpful you are being with the plan right now.

    Me: Yeah I mean. I have no idea where we are right now so if you were going to kill me now would definitely be a good time for it. Just saying.

    Mom: Honestly we probably wouldnt even need to kill you. Just stop the car and force you out. You would have no idea where you were- no one around for miles- youd probably just get lost and die of natural causes. Could you imagine? I mean just walking and walking and going no where? Especially you- you wouldnt stand a chance. Especially if we- as you said- waited a bit until it got darker.

    Me: Yeah Id have to hitchhike and take my chances maybe- follow the road. But yeah- this- that would pretty much be just asking to be murdered. Its like the perfect set up for a murderer.

    Mom: Yeah, Im thinking that if we wanted you dead- it would just be more merciful to do it quickly like we originally thought.

    Me: Yeah- I agree. I think that would probably be best.

    Mom: You just crack me up eskimo.

  6. #206
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    MBTI
    yupp
    Posts
    28,813

    Default

    me:hi mom i'm at the dealership
    mominterupting)they won't work on it because i'm not there and the car is in my name?
    me:no they couldn't get the key fob open at the key place so they sent me to service it's the only one they're not able to change the battery at the key kiosk. so it's gonna be 26 dollars instead of 5.
    mom:well why can't they get the key open, why can' they change the battery there(keeps asking questions that i would not know the answer to)?
    me:I don't know


    keep in mind before going to the dealership i had 3-4 different people try to open the key fob and right before going i couldn't get the car to start at first because it's a keyless igniton, nor could i unlock or lock my door if it was below 60 degrees because the battery was dying, but after i replaced it i've had none of those problems. the lady where i paid told me that the key i have they do in service because it's the hardest one to open and the easiest one to break once open, and if they break it they have to pay to replace it. those keys are 200 dollars to replace. but i got my breaks and tires checked and everything was good.
    *yodelling* AAAaaaaAAaaiiiiiiayyyyyyyy


    by @agentwashington

  7. #207
    noʎ ɟo ǝʇnɔ ʍoH Mademoiselle's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2014
    MBTI
    -NTJ
    Enneagram
    5w4
    Socionics
    LIE Ni
    Posts
    923

    Default

    Mom: Get enough sleep, you have dark circels now..
    Me: Yeah, that's just the side effect of *interrupt mom*
    Mom: *doesn't listen to me* You haven't even passed your 20s.
    Me: *rolls eyes*
    Mom: You'll regret not taking care of yourself, if you weren't beautiful you'd been so ugly right now.
    Me: *can't talk because of laughing*
    Mom: seriously, you're ruining yourself, who else could afford all the damage.
    Me: you may know beauty, but you have no idea what's architecture like.
    Mom: .. *is not convinced*
    '''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''' '''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''' '''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''' '''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''' ''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''
    ||||||||||||
    …Order >> Chaos >> Order
    ————

  8. #208
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    MBTI
    yupp
    Posts
    28,813

    Default

    mom trying to figure out how to get the lyft app on her phone

    "I try to keep up with all these social media things but i don't understand them and i don't know what i'm doing wrong"

    her phone is acting really strange to begin with like the icons to her apps are disappearing. she's in seattle right now so she's gonna get a shuttle to the light rail and take it to the airport then go to sprint and see if they can figure out what's wrong with her phone. i tried to get her to the app store to try uninstalling and reinstalling it cuz she had gotten there before she called but it said it was installed and then i couldn't get her back to the store.
    *yodelling* AAAaaaaAAaaiiiiiiayyyyyyyy


    by @agentwashington

  9. #209
    Aping the classics Anaximander's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    MBTI
    ESFP
    Enneagram
    5w6 sp/sx
    Posts
    8,243

    Default

    Not in my house, you piece of shit.
    Likes geedoenfj liked this post

  10. #210
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    MBTI
    yupp
    Posts
    28,813

    Default

    out of the blue

    "I keep having to run to the bathroom, it's almost like diarehea but not completely"

    uh thanks mom.
    *yodelling* AAAaaaaAAaaiiiiiiayyyyyyyy


    by @agentwashington
    Likes magpie liked this post

Similar Threads

  1. [MBTItm] INTJ: How do others see you? (ISFJ mom's opinion of me)
    By Usehername in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 125
    Last Post: 09-03-2010, 09:20 PM
  2. Colorful Sayings/Quotes
    By ladypinkington in forum The Bonfire
    Replies: 39
    Last Post: 05-10-2010, 06:28 PM
  3. Words of Wisdom, Inspiring Quotes, etc
    By rivercrow in forum The Fluff Zone
    Replies: 33
    Last Post: 11-21-2008, 06:39 PM
  4. [MBTItm] Quote on Intution
    By heart in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: 07-15-2007, 01:28 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts