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Thread: Mom Quotes

  1. #131
    Cat Wench ReadingRainbows's Avatar
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    Mom: Don't tell your dad you have a 42 inch TV.
    Me: I've had it for three years, I think he already knows.
    Mom: Just don't remind him.
    Me: ..........
    Quote Originally Posted by EffEmDoubleyou View Post
    St. Stephen took rocks and St. Sebastian took arrows. You only have to take some jerks on an internet forum. Nut up.
    Likes GarrotTheThief, five sounds liked this post

  2. #132
    The Green Jolly Robin H.
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    me: no one watches that show
    me: no, loser, who does a marathon on that show.
    me: nope, no way...total loser
    me: whoever watches a marathon with Kevin spacey has no life. Don't you have anything better to do with your life, losers.
    mom: who are you talking to.
    me: the people on t.v.
    "i shut the door and in the morning
    it was open
    -the end"




    Olemn slammed his hammer and from the sparks on the metal of his anvil came the spheres of the heavens.

    Sayrah blew life into the spheres and they moved. From her wheel she weaved the names of people in to mystery.
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  3. #133
    The Green Jolly Robin H.
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    mom: why don't you get me some of the bags from the car
    me: do you know what Jesus told the Pharisees when they asked for more miracles?
    mom: (serious look of interest on her face) what?"
    me: that Jonah lived in a fish for three days.
    mom: wow, so are you getting the bags?
    me: no more miracles for you except for the sign of Jonah.
    "i shut the door and in the morning
    it was open
    -the end"




    Olemn slammed his hammer and from the sparks on the metal of his anvil came the spheres of the heavens.

    Sayrah blew life into the spheres and they moved. From her wheel she weaved the names of people in to mystery.
    Likes LonestarCowgirl liked this post

  4. #134
    [bento boxed] EJCC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BadOctopus View Post
    Almost forgot this. It always surprises/delights me when my mom successfully uses a pop-culture quote or reference. Especially when it's from Futurama. I told her she was a really good knitter, and she said, "Shut up, baby, I know it!"
    Same here -- my mom's a college prof, and I was so proud when I learned that she had correctly (and successfully) used both "clean all the things" and "all aboard the failboat" in her classes <3
    EJCC: "The Big Questions in my life right now: 1) What am I willing to live with? 2) What do I have to live with? 3) What can I change for the better?"
    Coriolis: "Is that the ESTJ Serenity Prayer?"

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    conscientious > sensitive > serious (oldham)
    want to ask me something? go for it!

  5. #135
    Member Evastover's Avatar
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    Mom: Go suck a dick.
    Me: Why is sucking a dick viewed as such a negative thing?
    Mom: Why are you concerned about sucking a dick?
    Me: You've told me to go suck a dick multiple times.
    Mom: Yes, I know I have a dirty mouth.
    Me: I'm just saying that sucking a dick can bring two people closer together.
    Mom: It's a negative thing because it means that you're the sort of person to go around sucking dicks.
    Me: But why is that a bad thing?
    Mom: Do you go around sucking dicks?
    Me: Well... no...
    Mom: Then it's not an issue.

    Also:

    Me: Ish huggle wuggle time! ^_^
    Mom: Get off me.
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  6. #136
    The Green Jolly Robin H.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Evastover View Post
    Mom: Go suck a dick.
    Me: Why is sucking a dick viewed as such a negative thing?
    Mom: Why are you concerned about sucking a dick?
    Me: You've told me to go suck a dick multiple times.
    Mom: Yes, I know I have a dirty mouth.
    Me: I'm just saying that sucking a dick can bring two people closer together.
    Mom: It's a negative thing because it means that you're the sort of person to go around sucking dicks.
    Me: But why is that a bad thing?
    Mom: Do you go around sucking dicks?
    Me: Well... no...
    Mom: Then it's not an issue.

    Also:

    Me: Ish huggle wuggle time! ^_^
    Mom: Get off me.
    lol! WTF! am i the only one WTFing...right now?
    "i shut the door and in the morning
    it was open
    -the end"




    Olemn slammed his hammer and from the sparks on the metal of his anvil came the spheres of the heavens.

    Sayrah blew life into the spheres and they moved. From her wheel she weaved the names of people in to mystery.

  7. #137
    libtard SJW chickpea's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post
    Same here -- my mom's a college prof, and I was so proud when I learned that she had correctly (and successfully) used both "clean all the things" and "all aboard the failboat" in her classes <3
    my mom runs a summer program where she's basically the boss of a bunch of teenagers, so she'll always text me asking me about different references.

    one day she texted me "who is felicia?" and i was really confused until i realized what she was talking about and died laughing. i had to send her a youtube link



    ("bye felicia" is a slang term derived from this scene of the 1995 hit movie, friday, for those of you not in the know)
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  8. #138
    Suave y Fuerte BadOctopus's Avatar
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    This isn't really a quote, but I just got off the phone with my mom, and here's what I was able to contribute to the conversation:

    "Hi, Mom... Yes... Yeah, I... No... Actually, I... Here's what I... Can I just... Okay... Okay, whatever. Bye."

  9. #139
    The Green Jolly Robin H.
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    Quote Originally Posted by BadOctopus View Post
    This isn't really a quote, but I just got off the phone with my mom, and here's what I was able to contribute to the conversation:

    "Hi, Mom... Yes... Yeah, I... No... Actually, I... Here's what I... Can I just... Okay... Okay, whatever. Bye."
    ah yes...the dance of the hamster mother devouring her young. Happens to me as well frequently - I'm not singling you out.
    "i shut the door and in the morning
    it was open
    -the end"




    Olemn slammed his hammer and from the sparks on the metal of his anvil came the spheres of the heavens.

    Sayrah blew life into the spheres and they moved. From her wheel she weaved the names of people in to mystery.

  10. #140
    The Green Jolly Robin H.
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    Quote Originally Posted by chickpea View Post
    my mom runs a summer program where she's basically the boss of a bunch of teenagers, so she'll always text me asking me about different references.

    one day she texted me "who is felicia?" and i was really confused until i realized what she was talking about and died laughing. i had to send her a youtube link



    ("bye felicia" is a slang term derived from this scene of the 1995 hit movie, friday, for those of you not in the know)
    back when movies were good
    "i shut the door and in the morning
    it was open
    -the end"




    Olemn slammed his hammer and from the sparks on the metal of his anvil came the spheres of the heavens.

    Sayrah blew life into the spheres and they moved. From her wheel she weaved the names of people in to mystery.
    Likes chickpea liked this post

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