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Thread: Mom Quotes

  1. #121

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    Quote Originally Posted by Arcana View Post
    Courtesy a friend:
    If we're doing that then I have to add one.

    Originally it was better with the Mom's Italian accent, but I'll just write it plain.

    Daughter: I feel like I have my life together with a good job and everything and I really feel ready for marriage, but all the guys my age are still acting like teenagers.
    Mom: Honey, how can you have your life together? Your room is a mess.
    Take the weakest thing in you
    And then beat the bastards with it
    And always hold on when you get love
    So you can let go when you give it
    Likes GarrotTheThief, five sounds liked this post

  2. #122
    The Green Jolly Robin H.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nicodemus View Post
    You two could be part of a 90s sitcom.
    Thanks. I have a lot of sweaters like Ben and Mike Seaver.
    "i shut the door and in the morning
    it was open
    -the end"




    Olemn slammed his hammer and from the sparks on the metal of his anvil came the spheres of the heavens.

    Sayrah blew life into the spheres and they moved. From her wheel she weaved the names of people in to mystery.
    Likes EJCC liked this post

  3. #123
    Entertaining Cracker five sounds's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Beorn View Post
    If we're doing that then I have to add one.

    Originally it was better with the Mom's Italian accent, but I'll just write it plain.

    Daughter: I feel like I have my life together with a good job and everything and I really feel ready for marriage, but all the guys my age are still acting like teenagers.
    Mom: Honey, how can you have your life together? Your room is a mess.
    That's how my mom often told me to clean my room: "get your life together"

    She would also say "it's a sin" how messy my room was.
    You hem me in -- behind and before;
    you have laid your hand upon me.
    Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
    too lofty for me to attain.

  4. #124
    inside the lines EJCC's Avatar
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    Dad quote, more than a Mom quote:


    (Semi-sarcastic, while watching the mother's death scene in "The Three Godfathers")
    Mom: "Don't cry!"
    Dad: (exaggerated sniff) "I'm doing my best."
    (long pause)
    Dad: "This movie was written to hurt me."
    Quote Originally Posted by Nørrsken impersonating EJCC
    It's strange. I keep banning morons, but they keep signing up? What is this?
    ESTJ - LSE - ESTj (mbti/socionics)
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    conscientious > sensitive > serious (oldham)
    want to ask me something? go for it!

  5. #125
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    le'chatting with mi madre about mi amigo and a mutual friend my mom asked if the mutual friend was gay and i go yeah
    my mom: Oh so he's being roped by the gays

    keep in mind my mom's wanted to know if this friend was gay for years was convinced of my friend claimed he wasn't, he recently came out of the closet.
    *yodelling* AAAaaaaAAaaiiiiiiayyyyyyyy


    by @agentwashington

  6. #126
    The Green Jolly Robin H.
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    mom: don't worry. I didn't forget you. I'm bringing you some food.
    me: I don't care. I just had some yogurt to stave off my hunger.
    mom: Well i need to come home to shower and go get a haircut anyways.
    me: LIFE STORY ALERT: WRITE IT IN YOUR JOURNAL (hang up)
    "i shut the door and in the morning
    it was open
    -the end"




    Olemn slammed his hammer and from the sparks on the metal of his anvil came the spheres of the heavens.

    Sayrah blew life into the spheres and they moved. From her wheel she weaved the names of people in to mystery.

  7. #127
    Entertaining Cracker five sounds's Avatar
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    "This salad is making me crazy!"
    You hem me in -- behind and before;
    you have laid your hand upon me.
    Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
    too lofty for me to attain.
    Likes GarrotTheThief, Gamine liked this post

  8. #128
    The Green Jolly Robin H.
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    mom: Go fill the coffee machine with water
    me (whispering under my breath): Dafuq do I look like, King Midas...
    mom: What did you say?
    me: I'm sick of cleaning up after your mess!
    mom: Oh shut up. Do you think anyone cares.
    "i shut the door and in the morning
    it was open
    -the end"




    Olemn slammed his hammer and from the sparks on the metal of his anvil came the spheres of the heavens.

    Sayrah blew life into the spheres and they moved. From her wheel she weaved the names of people in to mystery.

  9. #129
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    so my mom kept getting calls asking for my dad and she'd be like he's dead i'm his executor you can talk to me no no we can't finally she said "i don't appreciate you calling and reminding me my husbands dead."
    they finally said we;ll take you off the calling list but she said if they called again she was gonna tell them if they really need his permission to go the corner of crawford and some other street (which is the intersection closest to his grave in the cemetary) I laughed and said it be funny if they actually went. and she goes yeah I know i wish I hadn't said that last thin just so i could say that.
    *yodelling* AAAaaaaAAaaiiiiiiayyyyyyyy


    by @agentwashington

  10. #130
    Suave y Fuerte BadOctopus's Avatar
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    Almost forgot this. It always surprises/delights me when my mom successfully uses a pop-culture quote or reference. Especially when it's from Futurama. I told her she was a really good knitter, and she said, "Shut up, baby, I know it!"
    WOOP WOOP WOOP
    Likes EJCC, Eruca liked this post

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