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Thread: Mom Quotes

  1. #111
    IRL is not real Array Cimarron's Avatar
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    Text after leaving Thanksgiving get-togethers with family and friends:

    "I know that you know but just a reminder to always thank the people you visit"

    Social Etiquette teacher. It's lovable but kind of eye-rollish at the same time.
    You can't spell "justice" without ISTJ.
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  2. #112
    penis Array prplchknz's Avatar
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    can't remember the exact words cuz this was like 6 years ago one time i forgot to call my mom after a visit to her and called 3 days later and my mom was all non-chalant "yeah i figured you made it back, if you hadn't i'd see something on the news or the police would've contacted me"

  3. #113
    IRL is not real Array Cimarron's Avatar
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    Here's a text on the subject of dating:

    "Just a few reminders if you're bringing a girl back to your apartment be sure its clean and neat if you're taking her to dinner be sure your car is clean and hold the door open for her and most of all just be yourself"

    A little creepy at the beginning. She didn't even mention condoms, though.
    You can't spell "justice" without ISTJ.

  4. #114
    ¿trap queen? Array chickpea's Avatar
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    more like mom reaction than a quote

  5. #115
    The Green Jolly Robin H. Array GarrotTheThief's Avatar
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    mom: did you leave a chocolate wrapper on the table?
    me: Yeah. You forgot to put a bag in the garbage can.
    mom: You didn't share any with me?
    me: I'm not obligated to share with you.
    mom: Can you....(cut her off)
    me: Listen, you're old enough to be accountable for yourself.
    "i shut the door and in the morning
    it was open
    -the end"




    Olemn slammed his hammer and from the sparks on the metal of his anvil came the spheres of the heavens.

    Sayrah blew life into the spheres and they moved. From her wheel she weaved the names of people in to mystery.

  6. #116
    The Green Jolly Robin H. Array GarrotTheThief's Avatar
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    mom: dad needs a hair cut he looks like bozo the clown
    me: when are you getting one
    mom: got one yesterday you ass
    me: oh wait, look, look at this card I'm pulling from my pocket, it says, "you look so young."
    mom: (steps on my feet)
    me: your violating statutory laws now
    mom: (stomps on my foot)
    "i shut the door and in the morning
    it was open
    -the end"




    Olemn slammed his hammer and from the sparks on the metal of his anvil came the spheres of the heavens.

    Sayrah blew life into the spheres and they moved. From her wheel she weaved the names of people in to mystery.
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  7. #117
    Head Pigeon Array Mad Hatter's Avatar
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    My mom to me on receiving another one of those 'special' gifts from my aunt last Christmas:

    "Almost makes you mad, what with all the crap gifts she's always making."
    IN SERIO FATVITAS.

    -τὸ γὰρ γράμμα ἀποκτέννει, τὸ δὲ πνεῦμα ζῳοποιεῖ-
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  8. #118
    Human Grumpy Cat Array senza tema's Avatar
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    Courtesy a friend:

    Me: I'm bored.
    Mom: I'm sorry you're bored. Did you think you were gonna have a good time?
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  9. #119
    The Green Jolly Robin H. Array GarrotTheThief's Avatar
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    Mom: did you drink all the milk.
    Me: yes. Since the beginning of time man has eaten his cake with some kind of milk.
    Mom: well go get a new one then.

    Me: that was my plan you overzealous hen clucker.
    "i shut the door and in the morning
    it was open
    -the end"




    Olemn slammed his hammer and from the sparks on the metal of his anvil came the spheres of the heavens.

    Sayrah blew life into the spheres and they moved. From her wheel she weaved the names of people in to mystery.

  10. #120
    Senior Member Array Nicodemus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by GarrotTheThief View Post
    Mom: did you drink all the milk.
    Me: yes. Since the beginning of time man has eaten his cake with some kind of milk.
    Mom: well go get a new one then.

    Me: that was my plan you overzealous hen clucker.
    You two could be part of a 90s sitcom.
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