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View Poll Results: Are you a giver or a taker? (Results are private)

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  • I am always a giver.

    1 6.67%
  • I am mostly a giver.

    1 6.67%
  • I am roughly balanced between giving and taking.

    7 46.67%
  • I am mostly a taker.

    6 40.00%
  • I am always a taker.

    0 0%
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Results 11 to 20 of 26

  1. #11
    Member Calliope's Avatar
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    I tend to take a lot of little things often (favors, food, support) but give back largely less often and I give certain little things freely and often.
    I feel uncomfortable taking large amounts from people though.
    I give large more than I receive, I take small more than I give.
    Please, don't wake me
    no, don't shake me

  2. #12
    The Dark Lord The Wailing Specter's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Calliope View Post
    I tend to take a lot of little things often (favors, food, support) but give back largely less often and I give certain little things freely and often.
    I feel uncomfortable taking large amounts from people though.
    I give large more than I receive, I take small more than I give.
    Interesting.
    Enneagram: 6w7 (phobic) > 2w1 > 9w1
    Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
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    Date of Birth: March 15, 1996
    Gender: Male
    Political Stance: Libertarian Liberal (Arizona School/Strong BHL)
    ATHEIST UNITARIAN UNIVERSALIST HUMANIST
    and
    SCIENCE ENTHUSIAST


    I say this as a reminder to myself, but this goes for everyone:

    You can achieve anything you set your mind to, and you are limited only by how dedicated you are to succeed!

    -Magic Qwan

  3. #13
    Member Calliope's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Magic Qwan View Post
    Interesting.
    Sorry if that didn't make much sense.
    Please, don't wake me
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  4. #14
    likes this gromit's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Magic Qwan View Post
    Interesting. I always thought self-centered takers were bad and others-centered givers were good.
    It's not sustainable to be only (or even largely) a giver. The healthiest people I know have achieved a balance, and recognize that seasons of life require more of one than the other.

    I like @five sounds' concept of being purposeful with it though.
    Your kisses, sweeter than honey. But guess what, so is my money.

  5. #15
    Member Calliope's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by gromit View Post
    It's not sustainable to be only (or even largely) a giver. The healthiest people I know have achieved a balance, and recognize that seasons of life require more of one than the other.
    I agree. I used to be a big giver and would neglect myself in the process and I would get so frustrated when people wouldn't show gratitude. Now I realize it's okay to be in debt and have someone be in debt to me as long as it oscillates around equilibrium.
    Please, don't wake me
    no, don't shake me

  6. #16
    The Dark Lord The Wailing Specter's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Calliope View Post
    I agree. I used to be a big giver and would neglect myself in the process and I would get so frustrated when people wouldn't show gratitude. Now I realize it's okay to be in debt and have someone be in debt to me as long as it oscillates around equilibrium.
    I am constantly trying to be a giver, but I am constantly criticized for being a taker. Sure, I do not do much of anything and I am stuck on disability, but I dream of a better world and I am pretty polite in everything I do. I have ideals, I just have little hope of making them real and my art doesn't sell because I'm told I'm not good.

    If I keep looking for opportunities, something will come along. As several have said to meon TypeC, many people go through a phase of poverty and hopelessness and stigmatization before finding their talents.

    The idea of equilibrium was quite alien to me until now. My ideal has always been to give, give, give, and the feedback I always get it that I take, take, take. I still need to give more, though I have nothing to give at this exact moment, though I may in the future if some opportunity presents itself. The worst case scenario is that the disability center will get me some minimum wage job with no hope for advancement. I will not be able to knock any of my life goals out of the way on that wage and I will not be able to do much humanitarian work, but I would be surviving. Surviving is different than living, though.
    Enneagram: 6w7 (phobic) > 2w1 > 9w1
    Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
    Holland Code: AIS
    Date of Birth: March 15, 1996
    Gender: Male
    Political Stance: Libertarian Liberal (Arizona School/Strong BHL)
    ATHEIST UNITARIAN UNIVERSALIST HUMANIST
    and
    SCIENCE ENTHUSIAST


    I say this as a reminder to myself, but this goes for everyone:

    You can achieve anything you set your mind to, and you are limited only by how dedicated you are to succeed!

    -Magic Qwan

  7. #17
    Glamour puss with a tan Raffaella's Avatar
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    I'm a giver. I'm not very comfortable with taking and it's not healthy, I have to teach myself that it's okay to take where necessary. Even then, I have a tendency to feel guilty; like I'm mistreating someone.

  8. #18
    Post Human Post Qlip's Avatar
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    I give attention, dining and libations. I take souls.
    Likes Video, The Wailing Specter liked this post

  9. #19
    Nyarlathotep ESFJ's Avatar
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    I'm quite decidedly most often a taker. I'm very prone to looking out for myself and my wants/needs to the point of forgetting about others/compromising the wants of others for my ends. (My odd sort of greed is not one of my best qualities, admittedly...) I feel as if I am losing something when I do give something to another, it's very very hard for me, so it's quite a special and weighty thing upon the blue moon occasions when I actually do so. I also rather detest discomforting myself for others, so it's all in all not something that comes naturally or easily for me...
    In that which is night to all things, therein the self-subjugated remains awake; but where all else is awake, that is night for the knower of the self.

  10. #20
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    I think I tend to focus more on others, but it gets me in trouble sometimes because I don't focus enough on meeting my own practical needs, and then I often feel forced to turn to others for help in a pinch. So, instead of taking care of my own needs in a way that others can navigate around and/or help with on their own time, I often end up forcing my taking on them at inconvenient times to them. I would vote roughly even for myself because I suspect it mostly ends up balancing out - truthfully, I think it ends up balancing out for most people. I think it is rare to find those who are heavily skewed either way.

    I also think there is power and wisdom in taking care of yourself, and that it is important to establish a balance. As @Jennifer mentioned, I think roles are important, in a sort of circle-of-life way. It's good to take from your parents. That's why they decided to become parents, to give life. It's good to take from your teachers and mentors; they intentionally expend their energy to make your taking easier and more efficient. And when you feel like you are in a place where you can give of your own earned resources, I think it's being a good citizen to give back in ways that empower others in the same way that your givers helped empower you.

    @Magic Qwan, you might get tired of my thoughts eventually - but I think that instead of working on giving more, it might be helpful for you to work on establishing your balance. I think you already know this, but it's not really super helpful to society at large if you're taking from disability checks and giving it back to homeless people - that's sort of just a static cycle instead of using it to propel you and them upwards. Both you and them deserve more than that. The church is one source you can take from - schools, trusted teachers, counselors, doctors, people you look up to, friends - all sources you can take from with solace that they exist in part to help you, or at least provide some inspiration. Have you spoken to family friends and acquaintances about wanting a job? I think volunteering would be a fantastic way to help give without depleting your own resources. It can also help build your resume.

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