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  1. #71
    The Dark Lord The Wailing Specter's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    I have some family members who are or have been some degree of racist/sexist/homophobic, and I love them and haven't rejected them. However, once I decided to confront my learned biases and do everything I could to uproot them, I realized I couldn't stand by and let them feel comfortable making bigoted comments and jokes around me. Most of them have become less racist/sexist/homophobic over time, though I think that is more due to general societal shifts than to me standing up to them. But like other have said, while I would be open to spending time with anyone who was able to have a civil conversation about their biases, it's unlikely that a friendship would develop- for a few reasons, not the least of which that I doubt they would want to be friends with somebody as liberal as I am. I'm afraid I don't have it in me to spend a lot of energy trying to convince people they're wrong when they're clearly not willing to give it up.

    In a related story, the guy this guy is talking about is pretty awesome:

    My experience has been the opposite. My family has become MORE homophobic, racist, and sexust. Also, while I have seen more social liberals, I have also seen more conservativ hardliners. More community ids becoming more polarized by the day, and I felt I needed to pick a side. The side I chose is anathema to my family's values, and as I am still partially dependant on them, there are plenty of conflicts.

    That was an inspiring hero in the video. He faced so much hate and through love and good nature alone, he defeated the KKK. Brilliant! @Ivy, you always have the best stuff. I wish I could hug you!
    Last edited by The Wailing Specter; 10-03-2014 at 08:34 PM. Reason: Watched video
    Enneagram: 6w7 (phobic) > 2w1 > 9w1
    Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
    Holland Code: AIS
    Date of Birth: March 15, 1996
    Gender: Male
    Political Stance: Libertarian Liberal (Arizona School/Strong BHL)
    ATHEIST UNITARIAN UNIVERSALIST HUMANIST
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    SCIENCE ENTHUSIAST


    I say this as a reminder to myself, but this goes for everyone:

    You can achieve anything you set your mind to, and you are limited only by how dedicated you are to succeed!

    -Magic Qwan
    Likes Ivy liked this post

  2. #72
    The Dark Lord The Wailing Specter's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by skylights View Post
    Perhaps you are more outspoken and focused on it at this point, though I doubt you have turned this into your identity. I think you are in a very identity-defining phase of life (me, too, still) and are figuring out how to orient yourself to something that has been a major force in your life for so long. I will expound more below.



    I know what you mean... People whose ideology or stance becomes their identity. I had a falling out with a former friend who decided to spend two hours lecturing me on the "queer community" and using me as an example of a white-bread heterosexual. She had no idea what my orientation even was, because she never asked! She was too busy being the voice of the queer community, which really isn't even fair to the group she's trying to represent because she's, you know, not them, and it's not like she's organizing rallies or donating to causes or leading people. She's just making herself feel special.

    When people "become" a cause - certainly there are people who have done much for human rights and equality by championing certain causes. And for some people, their work entails promoting certain values - I know mine currently does. And then there are people who are... Well, just kind of self-absorbed about the whole thing. I suspect a major difference lies in how much productive action each person actually ends up taking.
    That is one of my issues. I speak all the time about aiding our fellow lifeforms (especially humans) on this planet, yet I barely do anything. That is a huge source of guilt for me. I entered a lucid dream state to speak with my superego, and basically what the dream reprentative of my superego told me was that my torture would end only when I caused all suffering on the planet to cease.
    Enneagram: 6w7 (phobic) > 2w1 > 9w1
    Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
    Holland Code: AIS
    Date of Birth: March 15, 1996
    Gender: Male
    Political Stance: Libertarian Liberal (Arizona School/Strong BHL)
    ATHEIST UNITARIAN UNIVERSALIST HUMANIST
    and
    SCIENCE ENTHUSIAST


    I say this as a reminder to myself, but this goes for everyone:

    You can achieve anything you set your mind to, and you are limited only by how dedicated you are to succeed!

    -Magic Qwan

  3. #73

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    Quote Originally Posted by Nicodemus View Post
    Sure. We could jerk off to black gay porn together.
    ily
    Dirt Farmer

  4. #74
    Senior Member Hitoshi-San's Avatar
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    I'm close friends with a Jesus-freak, homophobic, mildly sexist person. I constantly felt like I needed to have a go at her until we had some time away from each other. I barely missed her and she has become a part of my life again. I know it could quickly become toxic, and am ready to break off the friendship as soon as I can because it certainly isn't healthy for me.

    So, no. I would just harrass them all the time to get a reaction.

  5. #75
    The Dark Lord The Wailing Specter's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lil_Red View Post
    I'm close friends with a Jesus-freak, homophobic, mildly sexist person. I constantly felt like I needed to have a go at her until we had some time away from each other. I barely missed her and she has become a part of my life again. I know it could quickly become toxic, and am ready to break off the friendship as soon as I can because it certainly isn't healthy for me.

    So, no. I would just harrass them all the time to get a reaction.
    Lol…I do that with my grandmother (ISFJ), sometimes. She is so sweet otherwise that it amazing there is som much hate inside her.
    Enneagram: 6w7 (phobic) > 2w1 > 9w1
    Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
    Holland Code: AIS
    Date of Birth: March 15, 1996
    Gender: Male
    Political Stance: Libertarian Liberal (Arizona School/Strong BHL)
    ATHEIST UNITARIAN UNIVERSALIST HUMANIST
    and
    SCIENCE ENTHUSIAST


    I say this as a reminder to myself, but this goes for everyone:

    You can achieve anything you set your mind to, and you are limited only by how dedicated you are to succeed!

    -Magic Qwan

  6. #76
    deplorable basketcase Tellenbach's Avatar
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    I've never encountered a racist or a homophobe, so the odds of such a creature crossing my paths is slim to none. Hypothetically, probably-- since I judge a person based on actions more than beliefs. Remember, Oscar Schindler was both a Nazi and a decent man.
    Senator Rand Paul is alive because of modern medicine and because his attacker punches like a girl.
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  7. #77
    & Badger, Ratty and Toad Mole's Avatar
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    More to the point: could I be friends with a racist, homophobe, and an islamophobe? This would be a very, very bad person, a person abhorred by any person on the Left.

  8. #78
    Male johnnyyukon's Avatar
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    All my friends are racist homophobes. That's the first thing I ask a potential friend.
    I've had this ice cream bar, since I was a child!

    Each thought's completely warped
    I'm like a walkin', talkin', ouija board.
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  9. #79
    The Dark Lord The Wailing Specter's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tellenbach View Post
    I've never encountered a racist or a homophobe, so the odds of such a creature crossing my paths is slim to none. Hypothetically, probably-- since I judge a person based on actions more than beliefs. Remember, Oscar Schindler was both a Nazi and a decent man.
    You must live in a very liberal area. My ESTJ 1w2 mother, especially, is a loud, blatant, anti-gay crusader type. She screams in their faces how disgusting and vile they are.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Originally Posted by johnnyyukon View Post
    All my friends are racist homophobes. That's the first thing I ask a potential friend.
    Really?
    Enneagram: 6w7 (phobic) > 2w1 > 9w1
    Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
    Holland Code: AIS
    Date of Birth: March 15, 1996
    Gender: Male
    Political Stance: Libertarian Liberal (Arizona School/Strong BHL)
    ATHEIST UNITARIAN UNIVERSALIST HUMANIST
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    SCIENCE ENTHUSIAST


    I say this as a reminder to myself, but this goes for everyone:

    You can achieve anything you set your mind to, and you are limited only by how dedicated you are to succeed!

    -Magic Qwan

  10. #80
    The Dark Lord The Wailing Specter's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mole View Post
    More to the point: could I be friends with a racist, homophobe, and an islamophobe? This would be a very, very bad person, a person abhorred by any person on the Left.
    The Quran has a strong antigay sentiment, so unless they focus on the parts on love and compassion, I watch them to make sure nobody gets hurt. Religious tolorance is important, and as the Holy Dalai Lama said on his recent speech in Austrailia, we need "secular ethics taught universally to solve the universal problem of self-centeredness in the world. Secular is neutral toward all religions, so there would be no bias toward the believers of one faith over another or non-believers. We must have compassion for everyone."

    That said, I view religion on a sliding scale from fundementalist to progressive.
    Enneagram: 6w7 (phobic) > 2w1 > 9w1
    Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
    Holland Code: AIS
    Date of Birth: March 15, 1996
    Gender: Male
    Political Stance: Libertarian Liberal (Arizona School/Strong BHL)
    ATHEIST UNITARIAN UNIVERSALIST HUMANIST
    and
    SCIENCE ENTHUSIAST


    I say this as a reminder to myself, but this goes for everyone:

    You can achieve anything you set your mind to, and you are limited only by how dedicated you are to succeed!

    -Magic Qwan

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