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Thread: Online Dating

  1. #1
    So she did. small.wonder's Avatar
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    Default Online Dating

    Chime in folks, what's your take on online dating? I'd love to hear personal experience (because let's face it, most single people these days have given it a go-- whether they'd like to admit it or not), which sites you've used and how it went.
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  2. #2
    So she did. small.wonder's Avatar
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    And then I found this thread. Still do chime in though, as it's pretty old.
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  3. #3
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    I've actually been writing in my blog here about my re-venture into this. I have some bad and some okay experiences from the past (about 5 years ago), but I'm starting fresh and so I won't bother to detail those.

    Anyhow, I find the whole thing very exhausting, and I haven't even set up one date yet. Well, I did, but then I had to cancel.

    There is so much wading through messages and scanning profiles and then trying to give a thoughtful reply while remembering you need to do so for many more messages (so don't spend too much energy on one). It's starting to feel like a chore, something I have to manage and organize, which is not appealing to me. I have to fight my tendency to want to give everyone a chance, because I feel mean clicking delete, delete, delete, or not responding after a few messages once I feel sure it just wouldn't work out.

    I also did my very best to weed out people unsuitable for my values, morals, beliefs, goals, and slightly odd personality, but some people just go by photos and so your inbox gets inevitably clogged with ill-suited people (if you are a woman anyway).

    I also prefer when after a short exchange, someone just sets up a coffee date, because it's easier to know in-person if you will click. My advice is to try and do that ASAP, without even giving out a number (don't want to give that out too much).
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

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  4. #4
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    if i can't get dates in real life, despite efforts (though there have been none, i'm just putting this as first person so not to offend anyone) I have no business getting dates online. the only time i'd have business getting dates online is if i had people interested in me in real life but i don't like any of them to the point of wanting to date them.
    In no likes experiment.

    that is all

    i dunno what else to say so

  5. #5
    So she did. small.wonder's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post
    I've actually been writing in my blog here about my re-venture into this. I have some bad and some okay experiences from the past (about 5 years ago), but I'm starting fresh and so I won't bother to detail those.

    Anyhow, I find the whole thing very exhausting, and I haven't even set up one date yet. Well, I did, but then I had to cancel.

    There is so much wading through messages and scanning profiles and then trying to give a thoughtful reply while remembering you need to do so for many more messages (so don't spend too much energy on one). It's starting to feel like a chore, something I have to manage and organize, which is not appealing to me. I have to fight my tendency to want to give everyone a chance, because I feel mean clicking delete, delete, delete, or not responding after a few messages once I feel sure it just wouldn't work out.

    I also did my very best to weed out people unsuitable for my values, morals, beliefs, goals, and slightly odd personality, but some people just go by photos and so your inbox gets inevitably clogged with ill-suited people (if you are a woman anyway).

    I also prefer when after a short exchange, someone just sets up a coffee date, because it's easier to know in-person if you will click. My advice is to try and do that ASAP, without even giving out a number (don't want to give that out too much).
    Too funny, I just decided to give it a go this week (a close friend met someone that way recently and I thought, what the heck). I'll have to hop over to your blog and read up, thanks! Yes, I do relate to that tedious message-answering, people-searching phenomenon-- I try to respond to every legitimate message, even if it's usually a politely worded "thanks, but no thanks" but don't really have trouble saying no to people right away whom I'm not interested in.

    Totally, I hear you on the date before digits thing. :highfive:

    Quote Originally Posted by prplchknz View Post
    if i can't get dates in real life, despite efforts (though there have been none, i'm just putting this as first person so not to offend anyone) I have no business getting dates online. the only time i'd have business getting dates online is if i had people interested in me in real life but i don't like any of them to the point of wanting to date them.
    It's an interesting theory, but I think you're being a bit harsh on yourself-- exacly for the reason you sighted at the end there: you aren't interested in any IRL guys. That's totally different than "not being able to get a date".
    Last edited by small.wonder; 08-28-2014 at 10:18 PM. Reason: Spelling, grammar and all that jazz.
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  6. #6
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by small.wonder View Post



    It's an interesting theory, but I think you're being a bit harsh on yourself-- exacly for the reason you sighted at the end there: you aren't interested in any IRL guys. That's totally different than "not being able to get a date".
    there would be less creeps if this was what they did. that's my point.
    In no likes experiment.

    that is all

    i dunno what else to say so

  7. #7
    So she did. small.wonder's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by prplchknz View Post
    wow. way to completely miss my disclaimer.
    Yeah, I totally had a brief thought about that when I posted. My bad.

    Ehem, so correcting that to be: Anyone who thinks that way is being overly harsh on themselves.
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  8. #8
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by small.wonder View Post
    Yeah, I totally had a brief thought about that when I posted. My bad.

    Ehem, so correcting that to be: Anyone who thinks that way is being overly harsh on themselves.
    no, read my edit. I said that, to lessen the amount of creeps and weirdos who use online dating.
    In no likes experiment.

    that is all

    i dunno what else to say so

  9. #9
    So she did. small.wonder's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by prplchknz View Post
    no, read my edit. I said that, to lessen the amount of creeps and weirdos who use online dating.
    That's probably true, there are quite a few guys I've seen so far that might struggle to get a date IRL. Idk though, some pretty creepy people find love and get married everyday (they just usually marry like minded people).
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  10. #10
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by small.wonder View Post
    That's probably true, there are quite a few guys I've seen so far that might struggle to get a date IRL. Idk though, some pretty creepy people find love and get married everyday (they just usually marry like minded people).
    perhaps. i dunno, creepy people exist every where. florida is a dumping ground for them btw.
    In no likes experiment.

    that is all

    i dunno what else to say so

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