Take a breath.
Dealing with daily disappointment can be immensely frustrating - especially as reality is rarely the way we want it to be. Our perfect pristine inner world is much better - or so we believe.
Letting go of that feeling of being a God (and having to live up to the standards of a God which are unreasonable to place upon *any* human being, including yourself), will ironically free you. It will give you a way to channel your energy in a way that won't feel like you're about to explode. And it will ease the internal conflict you're so tired of fighting every damned day.
How do you do it? You take it one day at a time. And each day, you make it a point to challenge a belief of yours - and deal with a frustration. Ask yourself why something frustrates you - why you believe it should be (insert your way), and why you feel annoyed that you cannot change something that just is never going to be in your control. Then ask yourself how to navigate it as it is, see its usefulness and actually accept its reality to then bend it to your will. Coz that, as a human, you do have the power to do.
Slowly you'll work through each frustration. It can take years. But along the road, you'll find that each time you resolve one, you'll gain more mastery and ironically will come closer to that perfection you're striving for atm. And each time, you'll gain more energy, and more peace of mind. Until finally, there is no explosion danger - there is just the wielding of your power and the peace within.
Most of all - don't punish yourself for how you feel now or failing to adjust to reality. Just don't quit, either. Compassion, forgiveness and acceptance of your own flaws and the discovery of your own resilient nature after learning from mistakes is what allows you to tap into your potential.
/ fortune cookie wisdom.