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Thread: Confessions

  1. #51
    Warflower Array Nijntje's Avatar
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    I don't feel like i can be completely honest on this site anymore.

    Terrible things happen to good people every day.
    Consequentially, I am not one of the good people.
    I am one of the terrible things.
    .



    Conclusion: Dinosaurs


  2. #52
    Post Human Post Array Qlip's Avatar
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    I'm often afraid that I'll end up being so self sufficient that I won't make room in my life for somebody. I'm also afraid of being derailed by a relationship, there's so much I want to find out about myself and the world, I don't feel like I can afford to wrap myself up in the wrong somebody. I'm afraid of a lot of things like that, and this is why I've passed on a couple beginnings of possible relationships that other's would've just strung out over a few Friday nights.

    As time goes by, I don't see finding somebody/dating as a directive, a hobby or a past-time like other people do. It's something that's just going to have to happen in the regular course of how I lead my life, or not at all. Even feeling this, I think about meeting somebody way too often.

  3. #53
    Demolition Disco Array Luv Deluxe's Avatar
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    I've finally done the unthinkable and let a relationship into my life. It was an accident. The guy is basically my double; he loves life with the same enthusiasm and depth of feeling that I do. He's nomadic, restless, and constantly curious like me. We're into the same things and the same kind of (wildly varied) experiences.

    It was an organic, natural accident. Neither of us tried or planned on being with anyone, but now we're all wrapped up in each other.

    It's simultaneously euphoric and terrifying. I don't fear rejection, I fear commitment and the possibility of permanence. It doesn't matter that I'm in my mid-twenties; I feel like I'm always going to be a kid, and I'll want to have my cake and eat it, too. Forever. I'm so into this guy, but I feel so disconnected from the rules around me. Friends have already been asking me who is going to move for whom (it's another long distance relationship - I seem prone to those), but I have no answer. This thing has only been in the making for a year, and we've only been "official" for two months. Four years ago, I dropped my whole life to be with a man, but now...now, I want everything. All of the cities, all of the people, all of the awesome.

    Lucky for me, this guy is the same way. So, we've just been going off on adventures every six weeks. Maybe this situation is perfect for our personalities, but I wish resolution didn't freak me out so much.

    /confession
    AMERICAN TRASH
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    Likes Mileva liked this post

  4. #54
    Post Human Post Array Qlip's Avatar
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    @AntiheroComplex In the past I've always panned LDRs as ways to have relationships without having a relationship. I still think they tend to start that way, but I'm starting to see certain advantages.

  5. #55
    Demolition Disco Array Luv Deluxe's Avatar
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    @Qlip - I actually met this guy in college - same major, same year. It's just that we never got that close until about a year ago...and then it snowballed.

    Almost all of my relationships and sexual charges have had a long distance element to them, and I think it has a lot to do with the point you've made (and a lot to do with how I am). I'm extremely sexual, but not a romantic. Hearing others croon over their four-month anniversaries gives me the heebies. There's a lot of fire and ice in my head.
    AMERICAN TRASH
    Ni > Se > Fe > Ti
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    Chaotic Good

  6. #56
    Senior Member Array cafe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ayoitsStepho View Post
    Conflicted. As a Christian, it's not exactly "promoted" in my home to date outside that. Ah, but I'm so so soooooo attracted to people who aren't Christians. I mean, I'd like someone with similar beliefs (because I whole heartedly agree with who Jesus is to me in my life) but I don't want someone with a stick up their ass. Let's go smoke some pot, go explore, have wild and crazy sex!! Let's live life! But that's not typically ok I suppose. I don't really know. I'm so conflicted all the time.

    *cough*
    My youngest brother would adore you.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

  7. #57
    Twerking & Lurking Array ayoitsStepho's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cafe View Post
    My youngest brother would adore you.
    Really?
    Quote Originally Posted by MacGuffin View Post
    ayoitsStepho is becoming someone else. Actually her true self, a rite of passage.

  8. #58
    Member Array Senkrad's Avatar
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    Scumbag brain that thinks the perfect solution to all problems is to throttle everything and then pretend that things never happened.

    I have no idea if I am just being my usual pessimistic me or if my depression is talking shit.
    I'm a green bean killing machine.

  9. #59
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nijntje View Post
    I don't feel like i can be completely honest on this site anymore.
    Here here!

  10. #60
    Senior Member Array cafe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ayoitsStepho View Post
    Really?
    Yup.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

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