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Thread: Confessions

  1. #3221
    ;) Array geedoenfj's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hard View Post
    I really don't like admitting it, largely because I see it as a major character flaw, but also because I can't seem to mitigate it barely at all, but if I don't get certain types of continuous validation (it varies from person to person; sometimes it's as simple as acknowledgement) from people whom, (for whatever reason) I perceive as "above" me, I get quite stressed and don't know what to do about it. I feel compelled to prove myself, and tend to try rather extensively to earn it, and it gets worse if I still don't get it. I will also feel bad when I see others validated (not out of jealousy), and makes me feel inferior. It can sometimes result in completely removing myself from those people out of guilt/inferiority.
    I can relate a little bit to that, even though I don't find myself in this kind of situation that often, I just feel that I either the best in what I do or I'm nothing, it's all or nothing, thus when others put me in comparison to another person, I just subconsciously try and wish to be better than them in what they have, but since I cannot be 100% successful, I just feel disappointed..
    Work for a cause not for Applause
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  2. #3222
    Seal Down Array Hard's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by geedoenfj View Post
    I can relate a little bit to that, even though I don't find myself in this kind of situation that often, I just feel that I either the best in what I do or I'm nothing, it's all or nothing, thus when others put me in comparison to another person, I just subconsciously try and wish to be better than them in what they have, but since I cannot be 100% successful, I just feel disappointed..
    I naturally will look for hierarchies where ever I go, and instinctively "scale" people on levels. I find myself in these sorts of situations a lot. Though it only becomes impactful if I am around people "above" me a lot and can't get on their level. Perfectionism and must have objective proof of being the best/worthy and all that stuff.
    MBTI: ExxJ tetramer
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  3. #3223
    Spreadsheet Samurai Array Alaska's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post
    In my head, I pronounce @rxr's name "rexer".
    I might give a fictional punk/gangster the name "Rexer". That is today's confession.

    No wait, today's confession is that even though I don't do public photos, I still feel like saying that I'm fucking around on the internet while I sit waiting for hair dye to set. I'm getting a strip of silver hair in the front.
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  4. #3224
    Senior Member Array Grand Admiral Crunch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hard View Post
    I really don't like admitting it, largely because I see it as a major character flaw, but also because I can't seem to mitigate it barely at all, but if I don't get certain types of continuous validation (it varies from person to person; sometimes it's as simple as acknowledgement) from people whom, (for whatever reason) I perceive as "above" me, I get quite stressed and don't know what to do about it. I feel compelled to prove myself, and tend to try rather extensively to earn it, and it gets worse if I still don't get it. I will also feel bad when I see others validated (not out of jealousy), and makes me feel inferior. It can sometimes result in completely removing myself from those people out of guilt/inferiority.
    At an earlier stage in life, I needed the traditional hierarchies and systems for personal growth. Their input and judgement is less valuable as I've advanced. Not that I don't care about the opinions of others, but those people that I've respected have become smaller in my mind, more like anyone else.
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  5. #3225

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    Quote Originally Posted by Morning Star View Post
    Sometimes I wonder if I truly am as cunning, as evil, as ugly inside as people say I am...
    Actually, this statement makes your personality seem appealing to me because I know how hard people can be on themselves. I translate this negative self-statement into what it likely means: you're smart, looking out for and standing up for yourself, and have raw honesty with yourself and about yourself.

    Or, maybe you're just plain badass.

    Either way, both are good things to me.
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  6. #3226
    Spreadsheet Samurai Array Alaska's Avatar
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    I'm one of those people who has many more thoughts about political subjects than they speak about, because I don't think I could take the heat. In fact, my backlog is pretty intense. I write out a lot of stuff for posts, but then end up pasting it in private journals instead. Sorry about this; the habit is not helping anything.

    Be kind and be brave, too...those two qualities must stick together.
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  7. #3227
    Senior Member Array Hitoshi-San's Avatar
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    I have a straight up needle phobia. I know tetanus and hepatitis are not things that should be getting spread around, believe me, and I know the needle isn't gonna actually cause me real harm, but that doesn't make my situation any better. numbing cream does not do shit. don't even get me starting on trying to think about something else or "just relax", that's impossible when it feels like your chest is being squished and you're shaking so hard you can't move normally. hell, I get lightheaded when someone talks about needles. I feel kinda stupid about it because I'm probably too old to be as afraid of them as I am, but I don't know where to stop it and I kind of don't want to because that would mean I'm going to have to exposed to them eventually either way.

  8. #3228
    Senior Member Array rxr's Avatar
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  9. #3229
    Senior Member Array rxr's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hitoshi-San View Post
    I have a straight up needle phobia. I know tetanus and hepatitis are not things that should be getting spread around, believe me, and I know the needle isn't gonna actually cause me real harm, but that doesn't make my situation any better. numbing cream does not do shit. don't even get me starting on trying to think about something else or "just relax", that's impossible when it feels like your chest is being squished and you're shaking so hard you can't move normally. hell, I get lightheaded when someone talks about needles. I feel kinda stupid about it because I'm probably too old to be as afraid of them as I am, but I don't know where to stop it and I kind of don't want to because that would mean I'm going to have to exposed to them eventually either way.
    You would make a terrible drug addict.
    Likes Hitoshi-San liked this post

  10. #3230
    FRACTALICIOUS Array phobik's Avatar
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    i rly want a nice fresh made cup a cino
    To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.
    ~ Elbert Hubbard

    Music provides one of the clearest examples of a much deeper relation between mathematics and human experience.

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