Yah 9s aren't afraid of other people...they don't avoid conflict/bad because of others...they avoid it because they are afraid of what they might do and destroy if they unleash the beast haha.
And yes we both have the positive outlook disease. I hate the feeling of seeing something so awesome in a movie or irl even...and I want to go back in time and experience it all over again like I hadn't experienced it before.
08-09-2016, 09:29 PM #3031
08-09-2016, 09:30 PM #3032
08-09-2016, 09:46 PM #3033"Once the game is over, the Pawn and the King go back into the same box"
Freedom isn't free."Freedom is the right to tell people what they do not want to hear." ~ OrwellI'm that person that embodies pretty much everything that you hate. Might as well get used to it.Unapologetically bonding in an uninhibited, propelled manner10w12
08-09-2016, 09:56 PM #3034
08-09-2016, 10:45 PM #3035
You could say I want as much cleared out of the future as possible, of both the good and the bad. I don't like anything getting ahead of me.
08-10-2016, 04:13 PM #3036
Could it be like, u rather not open a good thing in fear that it will end... avoiding good things? 0_o
Sometimes I regret doing something.. like watching a movie because I end up obsessed with the character and it hurts almost, so I hate everything about it even myself. Since there's a high and low for everything.
I guess I hate anything that makes me happy, because it puts me in a vulnerable position.
I don't trust "positive" things.
"I don't want anything, because nothing makes me happy."~MePeople aren't interested.
08-10-2016, 04:34 PM #3037
I can relate to this, though little differently. Sometimes I prolong things I care about like I sometimes don't want to read the end of beloved book or postpone meetings when they are also goodbyes, but mostly later feeling of loss when good things pass.
It's interesting what you wrote about vulnerable position
08-10-2016, 07:03 PM #3038
Sure! But it looks like you and @Kas got the gist of what I was saying.
My e7 brain is hard-wired for abundance and subsequently it never occurs to me ...that more awesomeness isn't right around the corner... until it isn't. <-And I was repeatedly traumatized by this mindset when I was a little girl. Like, I was always the first of my siblings to eat all of their Halloween candy and then have to sit and watch them enjoy their stupid ass candy for weeks following all because they weren't distracted by the magic like I was. I was the only one of my siblings that slept under the Christmas tree in order to catch a glimpse of Santa...and had all of their presents unwrapped before my Mom had gotten her camera out of its case. And yes, then I would have to sit and watch my siblings open their stupid ass presents haha.
My father was always the one to tuck us kids into bed for the night...going from room to room. And I'm not entirely sure in this moment what he would do but he would somehow bounce us so high on our mattress. And it was so fun. I always knew which room he was in when I would hear one of my siblings start laughing really loud. I was the only kid though that repeatedly said "do it again Papa"..."do it again Papa"... until he would eventually say with a smile as if this wasn't totally traumatizing to me... "All good things must come to an end Pumpkin (pronounced Punkin.)" And every time I heard those words I would internally
I think what I do today is I'm trying to ration the magic. So yes, I'm trying to prove my father wrong...that good things don't end. I feel safe keeping the good things in the future for as long as possible (I know that's hard to understand but yah).
One of my sisters is e1 and she totally does what you do haha. While I'm hoarding the fun now...she doesn't want it at all. She believes that the fun brings in the bad times.
08-10-2016, 07:16 PM #3039
So its why I watch trash. Nothing that can engage me or... Pull me away. And then suckerpunch me back to a new beginning where I have NOTHING except my own regret for ever getting go the end.
And its... Grey. But it isnt black.
Its funny- but not.
Anyways, yeah. Posts are... I dont tend to treat them like that. The cycling within the cycle of my obsession with the site is... Too rapidly paced.
But I am going to confess... At times... I might occasionally miss something entirely.
I try not to, I feel bad doing it. And it is never like I forget about it- not really- its just sometimes I am so tired. And its hard to muster up the gusto and the balls to... Go through my cycling, how I read really... Important to me posts, once again.
08-10-2016, 07:36 PM #3040
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