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Thread: Confessions

  1. #3021
    Trick or treat Array Eskimo2's Avatar
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    Im in the middle of a bad dream where Im suicidal and am just about to be taken to a hospital.

    And I woke up because I got scared there- because it felt too real I believe.

    And now Im debating going back to sleep or not. Im thinking yes.'sleep.


    So Im going to now.

  2. #3022
    The Uncarved Block Array ESFJ's Avatar
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    I'm just like him and I don't know how to keep myself from meeting the same fate.
    「 」

    9w8-2w1-6w7 sp/so
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  3. #3023
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    I like helping people but I don't really care about making an impact on the world.
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  4. #3024
    Senior Member Array ñoño's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by themightyfetus View Post
    Confession: I don't really mind ear wax that much. It's kind of fascinating. I mean, on myself. I don't really have any desire to investigate someone else's ear wax. But my own is totally cool. Cerumen excess also runs in my family, so I have a lot of it fairly frequently.

    Is this completely gross?
    That's creeply weird, but doesn't scare me at all. You're just cute. XD
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  5. #3025
    Queen hunter Array Virtual ghost's Avatar
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    I am pulling back into the INTJ zone once again and into my first/original typing (the most correct one actually), the only difference are flipped So i Sp instincts. ENTJ type just lacks raw creepiness and intellect that show themselves in me all the time. The problem is that this is the most aggressive 5 and therefore it may not feel or come as a 5 in many situations.


    5-8-3: a more ambitious, materialistic and dominant Five, who has a talent for leadership and a desire for achievement. More competitive and assertive than others, these Fives manage to get out of their shells more often to experience life in a more direct manner and obtain a position of power and success. Although still reserved and secretive, they exude a certain amount of self-confidence and strength which prevents their true vulnerabilities from being guessed by others.
    typical subtypes: social, self-preserving, 5w6 (counterphobic wing)
    similar tritypes: 5-3-8, 8-5-3
    flavours: poised, ambitious, domineering and territorial


    5-8-3: Most measured and goal-oriented Five.

    five with an eight fix: least intellectual, though perhaps the most mentally
    intense. unsettled by occasional fits of temper,
    sudden outbursts. affixed to notions of power;
    attitude of resigned realist. quietly guarded and
    insistent, may put others ill at ease.

    If 583 is your tritype then you probably have an air of self-confidence hidding your nerdiness.


    So I will keep it at this and this will be my typing. I can revaluate the details until the end of time ... but that is pointless.
    Last edited by Virtual ghost; 08-09-2016 at 05:53 PM.
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  6. #3026
    hey ma! got a tatoo Array prplchknz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by FutureInProgress View Post
    I like helping people but I don't really care about making an impact on the world.
    that may make you more helpful because your ego isn't in the way fucking things up.

    - - - Updated - - -

    I don't like hanging out with progressives even though i want the same things i find them to unbendy and closed minded. unwilling to look at thinks for an alternate pov.
    by @magpie
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  7. #3027
    Fabula rasa Array Kas's Avatar
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    I steal sometimes beer mats and I use them in house as coffee mats. Doesn't everyone do so?
    “The world is full of obvious things which nobody by any chance ever observes." A.C. Doyle


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  8. #3028
    Trick or treat Array Eskimo2's Avatar
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    Sometimes.

    Most of the time. I have a really hard time reading responses to things Ive written.

    I get scared.

    I see that. Oh someone has quoted me. And I freak out just a tiny bit.

    I have a legitimate process.

    I quick do a glance over just to see the post at large. Maybe skim a couple words.

    Then I wait. Take deep breaths.

    Log off for a while.

    Come back. Skim it again- but a bit more in depth.

    Start writing a little.

    Read a bit more. Read it through.

    Write some more.

    Read it again- in depth.

    Finish writing.

    Read it one more time- making sure to read the parts that... Cut the closest again- even if its... Hard.

    Then go do something else for a while. Let blood pressure return to normal. Let it all sink both in and away.



    So confession is- I have social anxiety even here, on the board. I am frequently scared to read posts. Frequently.

    Im even more scared in real life. I really wish I wasnt.
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  9. #3029
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    @Eskimo

    I often have a hard time reading posts when I know they will be good... Much like I have a hard time opening my gifts at Christmas... emails, texts, loving messages for people I care for...opening anything good is hard for me because I need to keep good things in the future. I need to make sure there will always be good things I can access in the future. So weird I confess.
    Through every forest, above the trees
    Within my stomach, scraped off my knees
    I drink the honey inside your hive
    You are the reason I stay alive
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  10. #3030
    Trick or treat Array Eskimo2's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Starry View Post
    @Eskimo

    I often have a hard time reading posts when I know they will be good... Much like I have a hard time opening my gifts at Christmas... emails, texts, loving messages for people I care for...opening anything good is hard for me because I need to keep good things in the future. I need to make sure there will always be good things I can access in the future. So weird I confess.

    Exactly.

    Well. Im going to add to this that- something kind of sort of completely different...

    Any media- I just cant. I mean, I can and cant at the same time. The more powerful something is for me- the harder time I have looking at it directly.

    Because- in one part... I want to save it. I want that gut punch to stay- As long as it can. Because its something- it feels kind of sort of more- real- good- whole- than just, most everything else.

    So, posts here. Movies. Books. Gifts. Even just, every day greetings. Can be enormous.

    Its never that Im afraid of something bad... Not really usually that... Its that... Im afraid that its going to be something HUGE. Something just so great- I dont want to soil it. It feels, honestly, almost *holy* or somehing. This is so weird.

    Private I guess.

    Its part of why, when I get like this... I usually feel the need to respond when I know... The other person is not online to watch me... Well...
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