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  1. #31
    royal member Rasofy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Coriolis View Post
    I remember that thread. Some of us got into quite a kerfuffle with Marmotini on that question.
    It's hard to predict when an FP is going to take offense at something.

    It was supposed to be an innocent question... It's not like (most) people actually wanted to see it happening.

    The highlighted just means she is looking for someone as dumb as she is. @zago was spoiling her fun.
    Ohh, that explains. An equivalent intelligence (or lack thereof) is quite important for a long term compatibility.

    The response he really should wonder about is: "Just why did you bother to correct me on this?" That would come from someone like me setting it up on purpose, as bait to smoke out grammar nazis with time on their hands.


    Quote Originally Posted by zago View Post
    @Rasofy Diane is my 46 year old next door neighbor. It's kind of an inside joke but Dennis was some guy she kind of dated a little back in the summer time. The consensus between us is that he blew her off once he realized she didn't intend on getting physical anytime soon, and this angered her quite a bit. She would, for instance, refer to him as a "fucker" if I were to bring him up. Well, a couple weeks ago out of nowhere he contacts her again, probably thinking he had her in his back pocket or something and getting a lil' lonely in the winter. She blew him off at first, but the other night I heard his voice through the wall and thought that she must have caved in and decided to date him again or something. I found this highly amusing.

    The next day she texts me, "ask me to bring you 2 beers." I did, and she waltzed in and started bitching and moaning about how she couldn't get rid of the guy and even though she was trying to act really distant he was still trying to make passes at her. According to her she only had him over so he could get a couple things back he left over there, and he decided to stay waaaaaaay past his welcome. And she is too passive to just tell him to leave, even when she had work the next morning and could have easily told him that. So I pretty much laughed in her face and told her it was too late now. She came over to complain a couple more times over the next day and finally I was like "just tell him to fucking leave who cares" but apparently she didn't. She sent me a text at like 8 PM that said "free free." So she had some guy over for 24 hours that she didn't want to see at all. Which is why it tickled me to imply that she was having romance and sex with him.
    Lol, poor Diane.

  2. #32
    Senior Member ptgatsby's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by zago View Post
    I see this as nothing major. People often poke fun at "nerds" and it is thought of as fine. I think it is a little mean, but I tend not to say anything about it. I just think things should go both ways, if that's the case.
    I'm not sure that justifies it but that wasn't what I was driving at. You said you feel isolated, cynical and bitter. Mocking others will only make it worse.

    I think you're going pretty far out on a limb here. It's one thing to fish for compliments, but my message differs in that something important was actually communicated. That's one of the most famous quotes from one of the most famous works of literature of all time. To understand it, especially when one misinterpreted it before, is valuable.
    Your motivation is unlikely to be that different. Certainly not over something as meaningless as a one liner. Well, I'm not vested in convincing anyone they aren't as different as they think. We are all resistant to it.

    "I am the traffic" and "I am people" verges on meaningless. Sounds New-agey. Not sure what you mean, perhaps you could clarify. I personally don't think all things go equally both ways all the time.
    Ah, it's a bit of a meme. Most people will say "I'm stuck in traffic" without ever realising that they are implictly traffic for everyone else. The analogy I'm aiming for is that your behavior is just more human behavior in a giant sea of human behavior.

    Eh? First off I wouldn't message a man on okcupid, but I would certainly correct someone IRL if I heard him say the same thing. Dominance would have nothing to do with it. I simply value correct understanding of things. It's my INTP nature.
    It was an aside, not that you would... although if only truth mattered... but it's just opportunity, I know.

    I don't take okcupid as a game, though. I do want a mate who knows these easy questions, or at least someone willing to learn. That stuff is important to me, as I like to talk about information and things. I have lived a lot of my life trying to be understanding and polite to people with what I would call silly beliefs, but lately I've been deciding that it never gets me anywhere. I'd rather come off as a bit of a jerk than the timid nice-guy with no noteworthy attributes--which is how I really do appear when I simply let people say whatever they want around me with no regard for truth.
    The game thing was to do with their answers, not yours. I think you'll find that coming off as a bit of a jerk wears on you even more. YMMV, of course. Some people feel empowered by it their entire lives, and there are certain types of relationships formed around it.

    Still, that almost seems like a worst case scenario. Kurzweil appears to believe that we will have all but cured death sometime in the 2020s. Based on the evidence he puts forth, I am inclined to believe that if it isn't the 20s, it will almost certainly be the 30s. The explosion of technology we are about to witness is impossible to understate.
    Ah, my timeline is a lot longer than that. I wouldn't expect Kurzwell's predictions in the first half of this century and of his predictions, I think it'll be a lot weirder than he thinks.

  3. #33
    Post Human Post Qlip's Avatar
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    I am sorry for your distress, zago. But all I could think reading this quickly growing thread is that this is just the beginning of your OKCupid career.

  4. #34
    Senior Member zago's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ptgatsby View Post
    Ah, my timeline is a lot longer than that. I wouldn't expect Kurzwell's predictions in the first half of this century and of his predictions, I think it'll be a lot weirder than he thinks.
    His predictions aren't terribly "his" though. He uses data to simply extrapolate known trends. With biotech, nanotech, and AI what they are today, where do you think they will be in 10, 20, 30 years? 2050 is going to be completely bonkers. We will absolutely be having conversations with robots, they will know us better than our current best friends know us. We will absolutely have some sort of nano-replication technology that makes today's 3d printers look like garbage. And of course hacking the genome will be a piece of cake. All just the beginning.

  5. #35
    Senior Member zago's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Qlip View Post
    I am sorry for your distress, zago. But all I could think reading this quickly growing thread is that this is just the beginning of your OKCupid career.
    I actually have a long, rich history of okcupid epicness. Let's see.... there was the time I made a fake account as a girl to try to gather information about the competition a few years back. My intentions were initially good, but I hadn't anticipated the temptation to troll..

    Guy: Hey I'm Phil, how's it going? What kinds of dishes ate you really good at cooking? What types of movies do you like?

    Me: I cook meth

    Guy: Sounds like a good time lol. Haven't blown anyplace a up yet have you?

    Me: Not yet, but I came close. You see, when I was a beginner, my stoichiometry was a little rusty and I miscalculated the mole ratio for pseudoephedrine:iodine:red phosphorus. That, and I removed the reaction from the ice bath too soon and it got out of control and created a thick cloud of what I believe to be phosphine gas. Before I could put it back, I was overcome and everything faded. Luckily my window was open, cause I passed out before I could escape. I woke up in a puddle of blood which I had apparently coughed up while unconscious. Probably trimmed a few years off my own life expectancy, but it killed my pet cat (RIP Socks). These days I've improved my skills and safely use the reductive alkylation hydrogenolysis of phenyl-2-propanone with N-benzylmethylamine. Works SO MUCH better!
    This led to me having a keen sense of when someone was posing as a woman but really wasn't. That enabled the next conversation:

    Me:You're cute but your spelling and grammar could use some work.

    Sent to sexygirl1991_4u

    Aug 3, 2012 – 1:37am
    Is that your best pickup line

    Aug 3, 2012 – 1:38am
    You're a dude

    Aug 3, 2012 – 1:39am
    Uh no

    Aug 3, 2012 – 1:40am
    Uh yes

    Aug 3, 2012 – 1:41am
    Why would you say that?

    Aug 3, 2012 – 1:42am
    A lot of reasons

    Aug 3, 2012 – 1:42am
    Like?
    Aug 3, 2012 – 1:45am
    No Sweetheart I'm not a guy!

    Aug 3, 2012 – 1:45am
    Why do you care?

    Aug 3, 2012 – 1:46am
    Because if you think I'm a guy I guess everybody else does too.

    Aug 3, 2012 – 1:47am
    No, they don't. They really don't.

    Aug 3, 2012 – 1:48am
    Well sexy what do you do for fun?

    Aug 3, 2012 – 1:50am
    Nice try. Look, I am seriously pretty sure you are a guy so unless you can prove you aren't, I think it's my bed time.

    Aug 3, 2012 – 1:49am
    Well your right I am a guy

    Aug 3, 2012 – 1:50am
    Just trying to see the otherside

    Aug 3, 2012 – 1:50am
    Yeah, I have done that too. No one called me out though.

    Aug 3, 2012 – 1:51am
    Your slick. Dude I'm single, depressed and lonely trying to find out how to improve that
    Ah, what a classic. God I am diabolical. The fun by no means ends there, but I haven't saved most of my conversations over the years. I did have a few real dates, mind you, and a couple of the girls were pretty good actually. Well, 1 of them was. But I was 22 and much more ignorant than I am now. Another one was cute and smart, but woooooooo... too fast for old zago!

  6. #36
    Post Human Post Qlip's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by zago View Post
    I actually have a long, rich history of okcupid epicness. Let's see.... there was the time I made a fake account as a girl to try to gather information about the competition a few years back. My intentions were initially good, but I hadn't anticipated the temptation to troll..



    This led to me having a keen sense of when someone was posing as a woman but really wasn't. That enabled the next conversation:



    Ah, what a classic. God I am diabolical. The fun by no means ends there, but I haven't saved most of my conversations over the years. I did have a few real dates, mind you, and a couple of the girls were pretty good actually. Well, 1 of them was. But I was 22 and much more ignorant than I am now. Another one was cute and smart, but woooooooo... too fast for old zago!
    Ah, then I admire your lack of desensitization, and your willingness to immolate yourself. OKC gives me the creeps, if I could get past that then I'm sure I'd have a good time with it. No dice.

  7. #37
    libtard SJW chickpea's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by zago View Post
    However, her marking of the question as important would seem to indicate that it was a priority for her, and that's why I included the last sentence in my message: "I wouldn't have mentioned it, but you indicated that this was very important or mandatory and I thought you would want to know."

    I would like to date someone who cared about this kind of thing. The fact that "it is a dating website" doesn't somehow rule out intellectual matters. That you think it would is a little surprising to me, actually.
    I just don't see what you said as inviting any kind of intellectual discourse, or discussion at all.

    If your potential dating interest knowing the meaning of that quote was very important to you, I don't see why you'd approach someone who got the question wrong. But it didn't even seem like you were interested in her, just wanted to nitpick at her profile. If you had a discussion with her, established some kind of relationship, and then let her know her mistake, it'd be different. She probably felt attacked and offended. Like you were pointing out her stupidity.

    She might not put as much effort into her okcupid answers as you're expecting. I don't do online dating but if a man messaged me about something so specific and insignificant right off the bat, I'd find it off-putting.

  8. #38
    Let me count the ways Betty Blue's Avatar
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    I answered 'where' instead of 'why'. . I equate wherefor with 'to which end' something about that seems to be both where and why.

    Honestly with those questions it is difficult to understand what perspective someone is comming from without further information. Sometimes people place a comment underneath (I did with several)...but yes in general you can see trends and make personal judgements based on those patterns. I'd err towards reading a profile before being drastically judgemental though. I quite enjoy reading through them, I find I want to know all about other people and say nothing of myself. Ha.
    "We knew he was someone who had a tragic flaw, that's where his greatness came from"

  9. #39
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ptgatsby View Post
    I understand where you are coming from. The isolation thing is easy to understand, so many of us struggle with it. Are happy like this? Because it can be entertaining to make fun of others. Still sounds like a bit of a jerk thing, not someone I would want to be close to.
    Yes, it came across as mocking or confrontational, not "helpful" in educating someone or trying to start a mutually beneficial dialogue.
    It looks like taking one's own emotions out on someone else under the guise of "educating"; it's momentarily relieving your own frustrations, that is all.
    Part of helping people is figuring out how they will be receptive to it, and that's not an easy thing, as we have to put aside our own egos.

    What I see is a one sided story. You dictate the answer you want. There is no mention of truly interacting with anyone (a gift of knowledge). And you make no effort in common knowledge, identical to what you are ridiculing others for.

    The feeling of isolation I understand, but isolation is the protection we build around ourselves. The differences you judge are small compared to the similarities. You are offended by them rejecting your gift of knowledge like they are offended by being corrected. When stuck in traffic, you are traffic; when you talk about people, you are people.
    This is a beautiful way of putting it. There is no real giving going on. The blind spot in poor communication is just as hilariously stupid as someone who doesn't know what a falling star actually is.

    An analogy that might help... You know those people who fish for compliments/feedback on facebook? "Oh, can't believe that just happened", "Oh, I feel so fat in this". If you correct someone with an expectation of an answer, you are fishing in the exact same way. You too are seeking validation from them and you aren't getting it. That's what feeds the feeling of a lonely isolated world.
    Spot on!

    There's a strange neediness about the OP's story. Sometimes I think some people don't feel needed or wanted, and so they try to sent themselves up in a certain light (better, smarter, whatever), so others may try to "win" them over. But it rarely works. Instead, you're just alienated in ivory tower.


    Thanks for a great post.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  10. #40
    Senior Member zago's Avatar
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    Ok, I just realized something. The only know-at-all here is @OrangeAppled. Maybe I don't like your tone, orangeappled. Why are you eliciting such a hostile response from me right now? It must be something in the way you come across. Maybe you are coming across as needy, and bitter. Maybe you aren't the genius you think you are. I should speculate about you. I think you must hate men, orangeappled--what did they do to you in your past to warrant such vitriol? Why are you so ardent about condemning them and trying to imagine that they are malicious in ways they are not?

    Actually, hold on a sec. I don't know any of that stuff. I just COMPLETELY MADE IT UP LOL. I don't know you, orangeappled. I don't troll these forums looking for your posts to psychoanalyze them and make up stories about how damaged you are. YOU are weirding me out right now. YOU are being creepy. Back off, stop thinking you are all inside my head, and either contribute or say nothing. Obviously I only have a problem with you. Clearly there is some reason for that. I think it's your poor communication.

    You clearly haven't really listened to anything I said here. I would take this space to explain it, but I would just be repeating myself, the information is all already above, and you've made your mind up. Never mind the fact that my system worked effectively today and I spent several hours talking to one girl who was a 95% match and got those sorts of questions correct. FAR BE IT FROM ME TO KNOW WHAT I WANT OR HOW I LIKE TO COMMUNICATE LOL!

    Stop bugging me. I'm tired of your undesired, conspiratorial analysis of me. I realized a long time ago that you don't actually think anyone is right but yourself, even when they are trying to talk about how THEY PERSONALLY FEEL, which is utterly ridiculous but somehow you get away with it. I confronted [edit: 2 other people who shall not be named], and you are now #3. Please cease your communications with me on this forum.

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