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  1. #21
    Senior Member zago's Avatar
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    I really just wish I were understood. Perhaps INTP is such a rare personality type that people don't think INTPs who truly express themselves are not trying to be assholes. I relate to Sheldon from the BBT. If I knew him in real life, I would totally think he was awesome and I would laugh my ass off whenever he corrected me, but definitely appreciate it. I don't need to think I am intellectually perfect, but I do like to know when I am wrong and encounter challenging repartee.

    That's how all of my best friends and I have communicated, historically. We call each other idiots, we belittle each other intellectually when wrong, and we ruthlessly debate and correct each other. That's just how I like to interact. Having almost no one else around who is like that feels like being a very lonely alien or something.

  2. #22
    Senior Member zago's Avatar
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    That was actually part of my persona as a teacher. I was often blunt with my response when someone said something wrong or ridiculous in class. Sometimes I would even laughingly make fun of people. To me it was all in good fun, because I really don't care how smart a person is. It's like with me and my neighbor, whose text message conversation I posted above. Who cares if someone knows things or not? Not knowing is nothing to be ashamed about, but learning itself is fascinating.

    That said, I think I modulated my responses based on who I was talking to, to a degree. Some people I was absolutely ruthless with. I was the coach of the quiz team, and with them I was outrageously mean, but it was still all in good fun. If they got certain questions wrong I often openly made fun of them. And they loved me for it. I dunno, ya know?

  3. #23
    Unapologetic being Evolving Transparency's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by zago View Post
    Yep, I'm mostly ignored. Kinda sucks. Makes me feel so great.

    The question is, though, would you have changed your answer or kept it the same?
    Well, lets just say it wasn't a dating site...so that I was more prone to answer.

    I am phobic E6, I acknowledge when I fuck up. Usually too much actually.

    I would have just said "Oh dammit, thanks."

    Prolly.
    "Once the game is over, the Pawn and the King go back into the same box"

    Freedom isn't free.
    "Freedom is the right to tell people what they do not want to hear." ~ Orwell
    I'm that person that embodies pretty much everything that you hate. Might as well get used to it.
    Unapologetically bonding in an uninhibited, propelled manner
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  4. #24
    Senior Member zago's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Urarienev View Post
    Well, lets just say it wasn't a dating site...so that I was more prone to answer.

    I am phobic E6, I acknowledge when I fuck up. Usually too much actually.

    I would have just said "Oh dammit, thanks."

    Prolly.
    I would have been fine with that response and would have probably left it at that without responding (or making a hilarious thread about it).

  5. #25
    Unapologetic being Evolving Transparency's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by zago View Post
    That's how all of my best friends and I have communicated, historically. We call each other idiots, we belittle each other intellectually when wrong, and we ruthlessly debate and correct each other. That's just how I like to interact. Having almost no one else around who is like that feels like being a very lonely alien or something.
    Yea ppl take that shit too seriously.

    I often want to just get to the bottom of something....

    Usually meaning I need more context...

    And ppl get annoyed when I question them. So I have stopped cause they can't take it.

    People don't like being wrong

    Or challenged.
    "Once the game is over, the Pawn and the King go back into the same box"

    Freedom isn't free.
    "Freedom is the right to tell people what they do not want to hear." ~ Orwell
    I'm that person that embodies pretty much everything that you hate. Might as well get used to it.
    Unapologetically bonding in an uninhibited, propelled manner
    10w12

  6. #26
    libtard SJW chickpea's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by zago View Post
    How could you possibly not see it as helpful and kind? I honestly think that is an important thing to know. That quote is one of the most famous of the English language. I certainly would want to know what it actually meant. I'm so dead serious right now. Like I said, there was 1% of me that refused to believe I would just get told off but would actually be appreciated. I would appreciate such a correction myself. Actually for a while I had the "if you turn a left handed glove inside out" question wrong. No one ever corrected me on it, but I wish they had! Once I realized it I was truly embarrassed.
    Knowledge of Shakespearean English isn't really everyone's top priority in life. She probably just answered the question, not putting much thought into it, not thinking someone would be looking through all her answers looking for a mistake

    Wasn't the right venue for your response. It's a dating website.

  7. #27
    Senior Member zago's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by chana View Post
    Knowledge of Shakespearean English isn't really everyone's top priority in life. She probably just answered the question, not putting much thought into it, not thinking someone would be looking through all her answers looking for a mistake

    Wasn't the right venue for your response. It's a dating website.
    You are refusing to acknowledge my desires as valid. I'm not just kidding when I say that kind of thing is important to me. I know you don't care, and I know most people don't care, but you shouldn't let that rule out all exceptions.

    However, her marking of the question as important would seem to indicate that it was a priority for her, and that's why I included the last sentence in my message: "I wouldn't have mentioned it, but you indicated that this was very important or mandatory and I thought you would want to know."

    I would like to date someone who cared about this kind of thing. The fact that "it is a dating website" doesn't somehow rule out intellectual matters. That you think it would is a little surprising to me, actually.

  8. #28
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    @zago, situationally, I think her negative response has more to do with opening direct contact with a person by telling them they're wrong and not leaving much of an indication that you feel interest in her as a person. Obviously you're correct about the meaning, and in an idealistic world she would appreciate your correction and thank you, but I think the reaction "this guy just called me out" may be pretty strongly felt since the point of the site is establishing relationships. Like, many women are probably hyperfocused on having positive rapport, and that doesn't often include starting by pointing out someone else's flaws. If you were to do it successfully - and I do think there are ways - I suspect you would be better off being a bit less direct about it. Perhaps opening just by asking her about her interest in Romeo and Juliet, and demonstrating some knowledge of your own, and giving her a compliment, and then calling her out. Or by flattering her and calling her out at the same time - "You know, I wouldn't think someone as clearly well-read and intelligent as you would get a literature question wrong..." - even that would still be a bit questionable but at least there's a hook in there to keep her interested. Your message also doesn't include any indicators of desiring further discussion, so to someone who doesn't know you it could be unclear whether you are interested in speaking with her or whether you just felt like affirming your own knowledge by telling her she's wrong.

    I think most people at heart do find sincerity appealing and seek truth, but as such a logical person you probably have a lot less mental "padding" around those concepts and ideals than many people. I'm not big into football either, but I have come to understand such "weird" sports obsessions better by interacting with friends who are into them. It's fun for them... it's enjoyable to them. It's a world they can get really invested in and feel like a part of but that doesn't have real, detrimental consequences in most people's lives. The same for "superficial" women. They have their worlds, too. I think we all ultimately seek the same things but some people tend to find those in external and physical things while other people find them in philosophy or logic. There are many like you... you are certainly not alone in feeling like this. My brother and dad (ISTP 9 and INTP 5) I'm more than certain would be on your side in this, both with the woman and with the sports. I understand why it leaves you bitter and cynical. I do think we all have the things that get to us, though. For me it's my idealism and perfectionism that gets to me and makes me feel like a failure and like I'll never be able to find what I'm looking for. We all have feelings of isolation and loneliness... even those crazy football people and even that snarky woman who replied to you. Chances are she probably felt sad and lonely on some level thinking you weren't really interested in her and just wanted to put her down. Ironic, isn't it? That you might be feeling the same way about one another for totally different reasons, because of the gap between individuals. But at the same time, that's a bridge between individuals. Recognizing shared desires despite different manifestations of those desires. You're not alone, though, it's as much an illusion as anything else. We perceive differences as distance when they are just alternate permutations of the same thing.

    Quote Originally Posted by zago
    That's how all of my best friends and I have communicated, historically. We call each other idiots, we belittle each other intellectually when wrong, and we ruthlessly debate and correct each other. That's just how I like to interact. Having almost no one else around who is like that feels like being a very lonely alien or something.
    Yeah, I would feel so uncomfortable if I interacted like this. Not to make you feel alone, zago - it's not that I don't understand why you'd want to interact like that, but for me my personal feelings would get in the way. BUT I can totally tell you I know at least 4 people like this offhand. Keep searching! There are plenty more people like this out there somewhere.

  9. #29
    royal member Rasofy's Avatar
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    Btw, what's the relationship between Diane and Dennis?

  10. #30
    Senior Member zago's Avatar
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    @Rasofy Diane is my 46 year old next door neighbor. It's kind of an inside joke but Dennis was some guy she kind of dated a little back in the summer time. The consensus between us is that he blew her off once he realized she didn't intend on getting physical anytime soon, and this angered her quite a bit. She would, for instance, refer to him as a "fucker" if I were to bring him up. Well, a couple weeks ago out of nowhere he contacts her again, probably thinking he had her in his back pocket or something and getting a lil' lonely in the winter. She blew him off at first, but the other night I heard his voice through the wall and thought that she must have caved in and decided to date him again or something. I found this highly amusing.

    The next day she texts me, "ask me to bring you 2 beers." I did, and she waltzed in and started bitching and moaning about how she couldn't get rid of the guy and even though she was trying to act really distant he was still trying to make passes at her. According to her she only had him over so he could get a couple things back he left over there, and he decided to stay waaaaaaay past his welcome. And she is too passive to just tell him to leave, even when she had work the next morning and could have easily told him that. So I pretty much laughed in her face and told her it was too late now. She came over to complain a couple more times over the next day and finally I was like "just tell him to fucking leave who cares" but apparently she didn't. She sent me a text at like 8 PM that said "free free." So she had some guy over for 24 hours that she didn't want to see at all. Which is why it tickled me to imply that she was having romance and sex with him.

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