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  1. #161
    Senior Member zago's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    See, this kind of shit leaves you looking as emotionally based as some of the people you complain about. Who really cares whether your opinion is lowered? Why make this personal at all? Are your complaints in your mind personal or rational here? Because this kind of comment is distinctly personal, it just sounds like an angry lashback because you once again did not get what you wanted from someone and so you're attempting to punish them emotionally for failing to meet your expectations (and hopefully even driving them away so that they won't bother to engage you further).

    Not only don't I see a point in going there, but I think the attitude is directly contributing to your continued lack of success with making the kinds of relationships you say that you want to make. If I were in this situation, I'd just explain why I disagreed with a piece of advice and not bother with those kinds of personal jabs, they're besides the point and undermine the potential desire for people to want to risk connecting with you.

    IOW, just explain why you disagree with what advice you were given, the rest is self-defeating.
    I told you, I am done with tact in this thread officially. Read the thread. I'm making enemies now. I don't like you people. And I'm extremely tired of you now too.

  2. #162
    reborn PeaceBaby's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by zago View Post
    I told you, I am done with tact in this thread officially. Read the thread. I'm making enemies now. I don't like you people. And I'm extremely tired of you now too.
    Sorry you're feeling frustrated.
    "Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one."
    Eleanor Roosevelt


    "When people see some things as beautiful,
    other things become ugly.
    When people see some things as good,
    other things become bad."
    Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching

  3. #163
    Senior Member zago's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PeaceBaby View Post
    Sorry you're feeling frustrated.
    Thanks.

  4. #164
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    keep pitying yourself no one else will.
    In no likes experiment.

    that is all

    i dunno what else to say so

  5. #165
    Senior Member zago's Avatar
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    I hate this world.

  6. #166
    Senior Member zago's Avatar
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    Please ban me.

  7. #167
    Iron Maiden fidelia's Avatar
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    In all fairness, "Why am I bitter and cynical" could be viewed as you asking for advice. On the other hand, I do understand that no one can come up with a solution that is perfect for you, not knowing your situation.

    So instead, what do you see as a perfect outcome? Are the results you are getting right now ones that you are happy with? If not, what variables do you have control over? You can't make other people respond in the way you wish, therefore, the only locus of control you have is your own outlook or response.

    It appears to me that you do not want to be vulnerable, as it leaves the door open for people to take advantage of you. My guess is that you have excellent reasons based on personal experience for feeling this way. Unfortunately, when you are unwilling to be even selectively vulnerable, it also cuts you off from human warmth and intimacy too.

    The responses you posted to the ok cupid girl appear to me that you would like to connect in some way, but it is too uncomfortable to do it from a friendly standpoint. So instead, if you can either be in a position of instructing/correcting the other person or slightly mocking them, you can still engage with them, without leaving yourself open to rejection or you can convince yourself that they weren't worth engaging with in the first place and feel better about yourself.

    People who take care of themselves do not want an exchange where they are the only vulnerable one, so the way you are approaching them only keeps reconfirming what you believe to be true (vulnerability is for suckers) and in turn makes you feel more untrusting and more closed. Yet you still want connection.

    So I guess it comes down to whether it is more valuable to you to remain safe from potential hurt, or whether connection is worth the risk. Only you can tell.

  8. #168
    Senior Member zago's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by fidelia View Post
    In all fairness, "Why am I bitter and cynical" could be viewed as you asking for advice.
    It's "why I am."

  9. #169
    Senior Member Tiltyred's Avatar
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    I share a lot of your frustrations. Your responses make me chuckle. Carry on, Zago. Hang in there. I'm not gonna say it will get better, because it won't, but ... hang in there.

  10. #170
    royal member Rasofy's Avatar
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    Considering the replies aren't doing you any good, I'd suggest you to ask the mods to close the thread.

    Unless you are expecting apologies or something.

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