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  1. #31
    Senior Member danseen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by highlander View Post
    That is in part what I am saying. It also partly deals with motivations. If a person is intentionally trying to deceive another and their behavior comes across as inconsistent as result, then I judge that far more harshly. I don't judge so harshly when someone doesn't really know what they want, is indecisive, doesn't know how they feel, etc.

    Your use of the word "supposed" seems to implies something. Does it mean you believe it isn't unintentional?
    I'm asking since, to me at the least, I always thought that a person is or should be consistent in their goals and actions since that's the point to me of holding beliefs. I guess I was naive, since human feelings and actions are complex, and people have a wide variety of motivations for doing things.

    So yeah, a person can have conflicting beliefs (,e.g. "it's wrong to eat meat" and "KFC is sooo good...") without an intent to deceive, it simply means they have complex feelings.

  2. #32
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    Outward inconsistency can manifest itself in different ways. I'm not exactly a fan of, for example, a lack of integrity, broken promises, hypocrisy, or other breaches of trust. I can, however, appreciate the massive level of open-mindedness that tends to correlate with such "inconsistency."

    But if one cannot internally trace back why he jumped the fence, he's got some introspection to do..
    Quote Originally Posted by danseen View Post
    So yeah, a person can have conflicting beliefs (,e.g. "it's wrong to eat meat" and "KFC is sooo good...") without an intent to deceive, it simply means they have complex feelings.
    Quote Originally Posted by fia View Post
    I also find that I really try to get my head around how other people think and feel and when they are contradictory, it leaves my head spinning because I try to work out the underlying consistencies that can produce apparently random outcomes.
    I totally agree. The core of one's psyche is very, very complex, and leads to complex feelings or ambivalency. But there is a core. If one has conflicting beliefs, he should figure out what that core is, then he should use it to reconcile those beliefs or ditch one.

    Perhaps -- "KFC tastes pretty damn good (hell, it's designed to appeal to our pleasure centers), but I believe that eating meat is wrong. I also recognize that there's a war between my core value and my lil' id. I may or may not give in."

    As a people-observer, I also can't help but try to figure out what others' cores are -- and it also throws me for a loop when my search comes up empty.

  3. #33
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    The times, they are a changin'.

    And so does reason!

  4. #34
    Sweet Ocean Cloud SD45T-2's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bologna View Post
    Outward inconsistency can manifest itself in different ways. I'm not exactly a fan of, for example, broken promises, hypocrisy, or other breaches of trust. I can, however, appreciate the massive level of open-mindedness that tends to correlate with such "inconsistency."

    But if one cannot internally trace back why he jumped the fence, he's got some introspection to do.
    1w2-6w5-3w2 so/sp

    "I took one those personality tests. It came back negative." - Dan Mintz

  5. #35
    Paranoid Android Video's Avatar
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    Overly changeable plans drive me insane.

    As for inconsistency between my values and my behavioral reality, I signed up for it by holding ideals that are too big for me and that demand from my greatest weaknesses. I'm drawn to difficult things, and beliefs are no exception. All challenge-seeking behavior feeds on contradiction between oneself and the challenge, and sometimes it's healthier than other times. I respect when people fall short of something they continue striving for.

    Agree with those who see contradiction as human. This is an idea I've thought about and wrestled with extensively.
    4w3 6w5 1w2 sx/sp ISFP

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  6. #36
    Senior Member danseen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Misty View Post
    Overly changeable plans drive me insane.

    As for inconsistency between my values and my behavioral reality, I signed up for it by holding ideals that are too big for me and that demand from my greatest weaknesses. I'm drawn to difficult things, and beliefs are no exception. All challenge-seeking behavior feeds on contradiction between oneself and the challenge, and sometimes it's healthier than other times. I respect when people fall short of something they continue striving for.

    Agree with those who see contradiction as human. This is an idea I've thought about and wrestled with extensively.
    Agreed. Who cares if there is an intent to deceive or not?

    Only chumps and fools believe in rules and stability.

  7. #37
    Paranoid Android Video's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by danseen View Post
    Agreed. Who cares if there is an intent to deceive or not?

    Only chumps and fools believe in rules and stability.
    Hate to disappoint, but in as much congruency with my post as your interpretation of it:

    -I value intent. It was what I cared most about when judging others and myself as a child. Growing up, I learned that balancing that out with consideration for results was responsible in my own case and self-protective when dealing with others. What I was thinking in my post was acknowledgement that intent is not always translatable into real world terms, not evaluating it's worth. You're free to, though.

    -I'm actually very into structure. What I meant was that there's only so far into us that it can reach. I can wish all I want that people made sense, but have to deal with the unclassifyable, unpredictable reality.

    Trusting anyone is to trust the finite best they can do with a mysterious unconscious.
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  8. #38
    Senior Member Fun in the Sun's Avatar
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    Sometimes it bothers me, sometimes it doesn't, it depends on what they're being inconsistent about. For the most part, I've come to realize most people are somewhat inconsistent anyways, so over the years it has bothered me less and less, its all a very human thing.

  9. #39
    Paranoid Android Video's Avatar
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    Sometimes people intentionally lie and manipulate, which undermines purposeful action and knowledge and is clearly wrong, frustrating and humiliating to work with. But sometimes people manipulate without consciously intending to. Even if the logic between contradicting intent and outcome can be understood and/or sympathized with, what they've objectively done still must be faced. The tone of this moment, however, and the future of the relationship may be colored by the intent.
    Last edited by Video; 12-28-2013 at 04:34 PM. Reason: Break up longest sentence in the world
    4w3 6w5 1w2 sx/sp ISFP

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    A lonely island where only what is permitted to move moves, becomes an ideal. Jung

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  10. #40
    Member Rosie Drew's Avatar
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    I don't really care I contradict myself all the time... so I shouldn't care if others do the same thing...


    You wanted to come fourteen years ago.
    I grew up.
    Don't worry, I'll soon fix that.

    I found this on this forum would love if you clicked it. (: Seems fun.
    http://kevan.org/johari?name=rosiedrew

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