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  1. #11
    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by fidelia View Post
    I like consistency within a person, so it does bother me if they act in different ways depending on who they are with or if they think people won't find out about it. I don't mind people adjusting their point of view over time, but I'd rather have it verbalized than not if they are close to me. I don't have any patience for being lied to.
    I can relate to this also. I value simplicity and efficiency in everything including human interactions.

    I also find that I really try to get my head around how other people think and feel and when they are contradictory, it leaves my head spinning because I try to work out the underlying consistencies that can produce apparently random outcomes.

    I care tremendously about internal coherency of ideas and of action. I'm not certain if I can put into words the reason why, but I couldn't be me if I didn't at least make the sincere attempt.

    I will add that I find people who have internal variety interesting, but that is different from contradictory. Having contrasting, but still internally coherent aspects to personality is just like a symphony with contrasting themes. What wears me out are people who are moody, who can behave differently in the same context depending on a fleeting whim. Also, people who will express a desire to reject elitism and then in the next sentence be dismissive and look down on someone. I went to a musician based conference where many speakers jerked around their ideals which were incompatible with their behaviors and desires in terms of power and success. My head was literally spinning by the end, and I really can only take so much of that. I had to introvert for a longtime to get my head around it, so it takes a toll, but I don't dislike the people because I understand they are under an impossible set of requirements to be and to act.
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  2. #12
    Paranoid Android Video's Avatar
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    Can we pin down a definition of "contradictory" for this thread, @danseen, or is that up to each responder?
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  3. #13
    & Badger, Ratty and Toad Mole's Avatar
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    When we have learnt to think with a linear and sequential logic, step-by-step, naturally we look for consistency. And if we find contradiction we know our linear and sequential logic is faulty.

    On the other hand, when we have learnt to think in terms of resonance, where everything happens all at once, and everything is connected to everything else, where the centre is everywhere and the margin nowhere, we look for parallels, we look for metaphor, we look for association, but above all we listen for resonance. Contradiction in resonance is irrelevant.

    And notice we are members of a site called Central. And the centre is everywhere, right where I am now in Oz, and also right where you are overseas. So the centre of Central is everywhere. And when we look for the margins of Central we find them nowhere.

    So Typology Central is a resonant chamber. And contradiction has no place here.

    There are of course those in thrall to step-by-step logic and they pathetically try to catch us out by spotting contradiction and telling everyone. But they are simply driving forward looking in the rear vision mirror, while the electric world of resonance is rushing towards us through the windshield.

  4. #14
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    I have no patience at all for it, and I'm not talking about if a person is paradoxical. I mean if someone says something and then behaves in a completely contradictory manner.

  5. #15
    Glycerine
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    Most of the people in my life are contradictory in the sense that they seem conflicted and don't know what they truly want so I tolerate it.

  6. #16
    failed poetry slam career chubber's Avatar
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    If I find them to be contradictory, then I usually ask to find out what is happening, behind the scenes so to speak. If they are open and honest about things, then it is easier to understand why they appear to be contradictory at the current time of my point of view towards them.

    I've been surprised many times and I welcome it, because it keeps things interesting and I could probably gain from their experience, if something changed for them.

  7. #17
    Unapologetic being Evolving Transparency's Avatar
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    I don't like hypocrites...someone whos actions contradict what they say.

    ...but then again... show me one person that's never been a hypocrite in their whole life....

    one can't dislike them without disliking oneself.

  8. #18
    Honor Thy Inferior Such Irony's Avatar
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    People never behave in a totally consistent manner so its unrealistic to expect them to. Also people do change their minds on things from time to time.

    That said, someone who's contradictory to a point where each time it feels like you're around a completely different person would be annoying. And also if they are contradictory in a way that suggests they are lying or hypocritical.
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  9. #19
    Senior Member danseen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by highlander View Post
    My first reaction is that inconsistency doesn't really bother me. It seems like a lot of times people make a much bigger deal out of this than it needs to be (e.g., getting all upset that a person says things that appear logically inconsistent for example). Humans are emotional and complex beings that often don't understand themselves very well or why they do what they do. It seems perfectly normal to me for individuals to be confusing, have or hold contradictory ideas or thoughts at any given time and to behave in inconsistent ways.



    However this kind of inconsistency bothers me a lot. It is intentional inconsistency that is predictable, indicative of insincerity and is an integrity issue.




    And that I have no patience for either.
    Is or should there be a difference between intentional inconsistency and supposed "unintentional" inconsistency?

  10. #20
    Senior Member danseen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Misty View Post
    Can we pin down a definition of "contradictory" for this thread, @danseen, or is that up to each responder?
    I'd define it as saying/doing one thing and then in a later instance doing the opposite without explanation.

    I don't get why it's wrong, since it's normal IMO.

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