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  1. #1
    Ginkgo
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    Question How Would You Respond To This?

    So I got this message in the mail from a guy I knew long ago. I thought it would be interesting to hear how people of various belief systems would address this person if they were in my shoes.

    Tell me what you think.

    <insert your name>,

    <insert your name> I want to apologize for being such a poor representative of Jesus Christ growing up. I ask your forgiveness in all the ways that I belittled you whether it was verbal or physical or even if I was something I didn’t do for you that I should’ve. You see growing up it might have looked like I was a Christ follower on the outside. Sure I was active in Church and I was supposed to be living as an example of a Christ-follower, but I didn’t really believe.
    It wasn’t until a few years ago that I faced some direct challenges in my life that forced me to stop and reconsider who Jesus Christ really is, and if I really was living for Him, and if I wanted to live for Him. See I knew I wasn’t living as though I really believed.
    Through this process I’ve come to accept God’s true love for me, and from his mercy I’ve been able to forgive myself for things I’ve done in my past. For so long I’ve always thought that God’s love was for me, but now I’ve started to realize that has shown His love on me so that I can share it with others and broadcast God’s glory from the posture of love that God has shown me. I hope that this letter serves as a testament that I really am sorry for any harm I caused you.

    Sincerely,<some guy you knew from childhood>

  2. #2
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    "Dear Old Friend,

    With all the typos in your letter, I couldn't possibly believe in your Holiness.

    Best,
    Ginkgo"

  3. #3
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    um...that's kind of crazy weird right?

    i guess my response would depend on rather i remembered them or not. did i feel like they harmed me in some way?

    if so i'd say...you did hurt me because such n such but i've long since moved past it. i get that your apology is something you felt you needed to do...for you and i can appreciate that and will say a polite thank you and hope that you're in a good place in life now with it.

    nice to hear from you.

  4. #4
    null Jonny's Avatar
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    Sounds like a generic letter he sent out to many other people. If I were you and I suspected that was the case, I'd not respond at all. Otherwise, I can't offer up any suggestions without having more information about your former relationship with him.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  5. #5
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
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    It would probably depend on whether or not I believed they had harmed me, like @ says. I don't know how I'd respond if they had. Depends on the severity, etc. If they hadn't, I'd think they were self-absorbed (but so am I) and respond with a polite but vague note. Unless I liked them and wanted to spend more time with them. Then I'd be all sincere and encouraging.

    Maybe it's an AA thing?
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
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  6. #6
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    I don't mean to sound cynical, but from the look and feel of this, he sounds like he's apologizing to you more out of a sense of "What he needs to do for Jesus" and as some way to witness to you, rather than because he's primarily broken up by the things he did to you. he just talks the image he should be conforming to, and it all sounds like talking points.

    Was this all the letter was, or did he mention anything specific he did do to you that he now actually regrets? I think if I were really broken up by some way in which I had done someone wrong, that's what I would be mentioning, and saying how sorry I was for it... and I wouldn't using it first and foremost as an excuse to preach.

    It reminds me of the type of apology you might here from a newcomer to AA, I guess.... "I need to conform to this standard, and apologizing is one of the steps of the path I'm on, so now I'm apologizing."

    EDIT: @cafe, lol! Same wavelength.

    EDIT 2: I guess your question is, "How should I respond?" I wouldn't invest much in a reply. I would probably just say, "Glad to hear that you are trying to get your life back on track and I wish you well as you pursue that. Take care." I didn't really see the letter as an investment in a future friendship with him.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

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  7. #7
    royal member Rasofy's Avatar
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    I'd want distance from anyone who's not able to write a full sentence without mentioning God or Jesus. Those recently converted people can be very annoying. I guess I wouldn't answer.
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  8. #8
    Stansmith
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    I would probably ignore it.

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    Teach him the ways of Chagazoo and the other Elohim. It's great that he knows Jesus, who was certainly an Elohim, but he ought to know about the other Elohim as well. Chagazoo is an excellent introductory teacher.
    [Trump's] rhetoric is not an abuse of power. In the same way that it's also not against the law to do a backflip off of the roof of your house onto your concrete driveway. It's just mind-numbingly stupid and, to say the least, counterproductive. - Bush did 9-11


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  10. #10
    Ginkgo
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zarathustra View Post
    "Dear Old Friend,

    With all the typos in your letter, I couldn't possibly believe in your Holiness.

    Best,
    Ginkgo"
    But the typos were divinely inspired. :P
    Quote Originally Posted by Lady X View Post
    um...that's kind of crazy weird right?

    i guess my response would depend on rather i remembered them or not. did i feel like they harmed me in some way?

    if so i'd say...you did hurt me because such n such but i've long since moved past it. i get that your apology is something you felt you needed to do...for you and i can appreciate that and will say a polite thank you and hope that you're in a good place in life now with it.

    nice to hear from you.
    The guy was a condescending asshole. He and his friend mocked me for being "gay", presumably because I was shy. Or something. I specifically recall an instance in which someone mentioned his name in a youth group and I reflexively said: "lol that guy's a douche". Everybody just sort of stood there, stunned.
    Quote Originally Posted by Jonny View Post
    Sounds like a generic letter he sent out to many other people. If I were you and I suspected that was the case, I'd not respond at all. Otherwise, I can't offer up any suggestions without having more information about your former relationship with him.
    It was an interesting relationship I had with his family. His parents were nice and I routinely visited his grandma to take care of her errands. He, on the other hand, practically treated me like I didn't exist aside from brief moments marked by his caustic behavior.

    You and I both had the same impression that it could have been a generic letter that he gave out to everyone.
    Quote Originally Posted by cafe View Post
    It would probably depend on whether or not I believed they had harmed me, like @ says. I don't know how I'd respond if they had. Depends on the severity, etc. If they hadn't, I'd think they were self-absorbed (but so am I) and respond with a polite but vague note. Unless I liked them and wanted to spend more time with them. Then I'd be all sincere and encouraging.

    Maybe it's an AA thing?
    It's probably not an AA thing but who knows?

    I don't like this guy much. I also get the feeling that he's so enmeshed with his notion of religious salvation that if I were to get even relatively steeped in a friendship with him, he would persistently try to get me involved.

    Quote Originally Posted by Rasofy View Post
    I'd want distance from anyone who's not able to write a full sentence without mentioning God or Jesus. Those recently converted people can be very annoying. I guess I wouldn't answer.
    Quote Originally Posted by Stansmith View Post
    I would probably ignore it.
    I don't want to ignore this. It seems like an opportunity to make an impact on someone - positive or negative.
    Quote Originally Posted by msg_v2 View Post
    Teach him the ways of Chagazoo and the other Elohim. It's great that he knows Jesus, who was certainly an Elohim, but he ought to know about the other Elohim as well. Chagazoo is an excellent introductory teacher.
    wat

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