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  1. #11
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
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    Yeah. With people like that, friendliness is just a thing that has to be done as one works toward the ulterior motive of SALVATION. I suppose some people do actually change, but I haven't seen it happen very often, with or without Jesus. I'm really cynical and suspicious about this kind of thing. Probably to an unhealthy degree.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
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  2. #12
    Ginkgo
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    I don't mean to sound cynical, but from the look and feel of this, he sounds like he's apologizing to you more out of a sense of "What he needs to do for Jesus" and as some way to witness to you, rather than because he's primarily broken up by the things he did to you. he just talks the image he should be conforming to, and it all sounds like talking points.

    Was this all the letter was, or did he mention anything specific he did do to you that he now actually regrets? I think if I were really broken up by some way in which I had done someone wrong, that's what I would be mentioning, and saying how sorry I was for it... and I wouldn't using it first and foremost as an excuse to preach.

    It reminds me of the type of apology you might here from a newcomer to AA, I guess.... "I need to conform to this standard, and apologizing is one of the steps of the path I'm on, so now I'm apologizing."
    No, he didn't specifically mention anything that he regrets. Frankly, I probably forgot about much of it. However, his particular... tone... something about his character was probably one of the most aggravating things I've ever felt from a human being. He was completely full of himself and, even worse, I couldn't pinpoint how he came to be so assholish.


    EDIT 2: I guess your question is, "How should I respond?" I wouldn't invest much in a reply. I would probably just say, "Glad to hear that you are trying to get your life back on track and I wish you well as you pursue that. Take care." I didn't really see the letter as an investment in a future friendship with him.
    It seemed standoffish. Yeah.

  3. #13
    Theta Male Julius_Van_Der_Beak's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ginkgo View Post
    wat
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    As a serious answer, I don't think you owe anyone your forgiveness. That's yours to give. You have no obligation to give him or anyone that, if he was a dick to you. You could ignore the letter, I suppose.
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  4. #14
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    I'd keep it short and polite and be careful not to say anything that could be interpreted as interest in talking with him about his faith, unless you want to do that.

  5. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ginkgo View Post
    I don't like this guy much. I also get the feeling that he's so enmeshed with his notion of religious salvation that if I were to get even relatively steeped in a friendship with him, he would persistently try to get me involved.
    Yeah, that's my take.

    Either: How is he trying to make money from this? Or, how is he trying to convert me to his cult?

  6. #16
    Stansmith
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    Religion just seems like another crutch for some people.

  7. #17
    royal member Rasofy's Avatar
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    Plot twist: he believes gay people go to hell and wants to save you by making you a straight.
    -----------------

    A man builds. A parasite asks 'Where is my share?'
    A man creates. A parasite says, 'What will the neighbors think?'
    A man invents. A parasite says, 'Watch out, or you might tread on the toes of God... '


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  8. #18
    Senior Member lowtech redneck's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    EDIT 2: I guess your question is, "How should I respond?" I wouldn't invest much in a reply. I would probably just say, "Glad to hear that you are trying to get your life back on track and I wish you well as you pursue that. Take care." I didn't really see the letter as an investment in a future friendship with him.
    I think this is probably the best course to take; its polite, provides some amount of positive reinforcement for his attempt at some kind of personal reformation, and yet doesn't leave much of a door for unwanted proselytizing or friendship overtures.

  9. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jonny View Post
    Sounds like a generic letter he sent out to many other people.
    Exactly! It is entirely about him and shows no consideration towards you and your thoughts about whatever happened.
    I would ignore it as I have received spam less annoying than that.
    I'm never wrong, I'm just sometimes less right

  10. #20
    Paranoid Android Video's Avatar
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    This is what you say you don't want to do, but since you asked for how I would respond: knowing the context and feeling that it's a form letter, I would not respond because receiving it would already be more involved than I'd want to be. My experience from the inside with hard faith like his is that some desperate people find validation in it when they need something else. Behavior is excused as ecstasy, because it's in the name of a god, when in any other context it would be seen as a cry for help.
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