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  1. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stansmith View Post
    I honestly can't see myself ever sustaining a long term romantic relationship or a consistent friendship. I'm kind of a downer 70% of the time, and I'm really lazy about showing initiative with others. If I leave the city for 6 months, you probably won't hear from me at all. I haven't even contacted my sister or my father in about 2 years. Anyone who shows interest in me seems to be selling themselves short. I don't think I have the 'it' factor that most people seem to have (empathy, cheeriness, charm, maturity, passion, worldly ambition), and I wouldn't really mind (I don't get much fulfillment from the social sphere) if I had some craft that I could immerse myself in completely and be good at, but I don't. I'm just a really sad sap, and have been for the past 7-8 years.

    Am I completely hopeless?
    Don't be too hard on yourself. I'm also kind of a downer 70% of the time, not particularly good at showing initiative, and frankly awful at keeping in touch, and I'm doing just fine.

    What I don't do (much) is question other people when they show an interest in me, particularly when I'm interested in them. I stay sensitive to the chemistry and allow myself to enjoy interacting and spending time with them without worrying about why. If you quit focusing so much on why they're interested in you and whether or not you're good enough for them, you will enjoy their company more and build stronger connections.

    So yeah, don't sell yourself short, allow yourself to become invested in the relationships you can build, and show initiative when you can. You aren't hopeless.

    I don't know you very well but you seem pleasant to me and I'm sure you could be quite engaging IRL.

  2. #12
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  3. #13
    Theta Male Julius_Van_Der_Beak's Avatar
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    I have, so you can, too. But there's a point of experience after which the point of having relationships just for the sake of being in a relationship is no longer appealing.
    [Trump's] rhetoric is not an abuse of power. In the same way that it's also not against the law to do a backflip off of the roof of your house onto your concrete driveway. It's just mind-numbingly stupid and, to say the least, counterproductive. - Bush did 9-11


    This is not going to go the way you think....

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  4. #14
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    Everybody likes the idea. Liking people is another story.
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  5. #15
    Theta Male Julius_Van_Der_Beak's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Misty View Post
    Everybody likes the idea. Liking people is another story.
    That too, is something to consider.
    [Trump's] rhetoric is not an abuse of power. In the same way that it's also not against the law to do a backflip off of the roof of your house onto your concrete driveway. It's just mind-numbingly stupid and, to say the least, counterproductive. - Bush did 9-11


    This is not going to go the way you think....

    Visit my Johari:
    http://kevan.org/johari?name=Birddude78

  6. #16
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    Not everyone wants the same things. That is, some people may want exactly who you are now and nothing more. Fuck the status quo.

  7. #17
    Theta Male Julius_Van_Der_Beak's Avatar
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    But the trick is finding someone who likes exactly who you are who you actually like. It's not fair to anyone to seek out anything less, unless perhaps everyone is clear on what is going is going.

    But, that can be.... difficult.
    [Trump's] rhetoric is not an abuse of power. In the same way that it's also not against the law to do a backflip off of the roof of your house onto your concrete driveway. It's just mind-numbingly stupid and, to say the least, counterproductive. - Bush did 9-11


    This is not going to go the way you think....

    Visit my Johari:
    http://kevan.org/johari?name=Birddude78

  8. #18
    figsfiggyfigs
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    Yes



  9. #19
    ndovjtjcaqidthi
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    Can't stand ya!

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