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Thread: Non-Swears

  1. #31
    Senior Member lowtech redneck's Avatar
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    Here are a couple from the Wheel of Time series (technically, these are considered swearing in-universe):

    "Mother's milk in a cup!"

    "Sheep swallop and bloody buttered onions!"


    My sister always used "fooey fig newtons!" when we were young.

  2. #32
    Entertaining Cracker five sounds's Avatar
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    heavens to betsy!
    You hem me in -- behind and before;
    you have laid your hand upon me.
    Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
    too lofty for me to attain.

  3. #33
    A Gentle Whisper ~MS*ANGEL~'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    As a parent of a kid who used to engage in hearty echolalia, I've had to get creative with non-swearing. Most start with F or S as they usually come out when I've already started to say fuck or shit.

    Holy Shiva!
    Fur bikinis!
    Shamalamadingdong!
    Farginhargin!
    Fashion hole!
    Fokker D-7!
    Haha love the Shiva one!
    Only she who attempts the absurd can achieve the impossible... and then some.

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  4. #34
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    Clucking bell is my personal fave. I don't non-cuss very often though ... I guess I don't really cuss that much either.

  5. #35
    A Gentle Whisper ~MS*ANGEL~'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Coriolis View Post
    My favorite is still "good grief".
    I love that one - my all-time favorite non-swear!
    Another one I like is "Great Scott!" (if that counts, of course )
    Only she who attempts the absurd can achieve the impossible... and then some.

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  6. #36
    A Gentle Whisper ~MS*ANGEL~'s Avatar
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    I'm also surprised no one has mentioned "What the frock?" yet. I remember seeing that word in the book "Born Confused" (which by the way is an AWESOME novel!)
    Only she who attempts the absurd can achieve the impossible... and then some.

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  7. #37
    Artisan Conquerer Halla74's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by five sounds View Post
    I try to collect fun ways of unswearing. While I do curse, I usually don't like the feeling it gives me, and I like to get creative with ways of expressing those thoughts.
    Same here. I grew up in a military household so I had a PhD inProfanity by the age of five.

    However, once I became a Father, I cleaned up my language post haste. I was not going to be the Dad of the kids who taught everyone curse words on the playground - Noooo waaay dude!!

    Also, as a professional, use of profanity can quickly
    discredit you despite having a good reputation otherwise. Seriously, especially when you get inro manahement. A good reputation takes years to build, and only moments to ruin...

    Quote Originally Posted by five sounds
    Anyone got any good ones?
    I'll drop my un-swear words here, and hope they are of use to you.

    (1) Instead of "That's fucking nuts!" you can say "That's Nucking Futs!" and baffle your bystanders.

    (2) My wife and I both use the folliwing expression when we really don't like something: "That's fucking bull shit!" - but, we euphemised it by making it an acronym (FUBS = FUcking Bull Shit) and so now simply say "Man, that's FUBS!"

    (3) One of my all time favorites is "Fiddlesticks!"

    (4) If someone says/does something rude to another person I'll say: "What a precious thing to say. Aren't you just a gem of a person?" - and if circumstances warrant the next thing I'll say is: "That was rude and uncalled for. Apologize - NOW."

    (5) Another oldie but goodie: "Well how about that?"

    I'll post more later when I have more time.

    Cheers!

    -Halla74
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  8. #38
    FRACTALICIOUS phobik's Avatar
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  9. #39
    this is my winter song EJCC's Avatar
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    I'm not super creative about it... usually I just swear. But when I'm in an environment where I can't, expletive exclamations become: "Darn", "shoot", "really?" "are you kidding me?", "screw it", and my go-to, "UGHHHH."

    Because I'm so used to swearing, I do a lot of the trailing-off-before-the-swear-word-would-be, because I think while I speak and don't realize til halfway through the sentence that I can't finish it.

    Quote Originally Posted by Halla74 View Post
    (4) If someone says/does something rude to another person I'll say: "What a precious thing to say. Aren't you just a gem of a person?" - and if circumstances warrant the next thing I'll say is: "That was rude and uncalled for. Apologize - NOW."

    (5) Another oldie but goodie: "Well how about that?"
    These remind me of a joke (better when told with Southern accents, so just picture them as you read):

    A group of Southern women are all at a social gathering. Each one spends a bit of time bragging about themselves, their husbands, their children. One woman responds to each by saying "How nice." Finally, they get around to asking her what she and her family have been up to.

    She says, "I just got out of finishing school."

    There's an awkward pause, until one woman thinks to ask: "What did you learn there?"

    And the woman replies: "I learned to say 'how nice' instead of 'fuck you'."
    ~ g e t f e s t i v e ! ~


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  10. #40
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    DAG GUMMIT

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    FRICKIN DAG GOM JIMMINY CRICKET McSUCK IN MY PANTS

    BOB SAGGOT!

    SUCK OFF

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