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  1. #11
    Entertaining Cracker five sounds's Avatar
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    Interesting! I don't believe in soul mates. Just compatibility and commitment
    You hem me in -- behind and before;
    you have laid your hand upon me.
    Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
    too lofty for me to attain.

  2. #12
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by greenfairy View Post
    A lot of people say there is someone for everyone, and as much as I would love to believe it and think I have a soulmate out there, it's not at all unreasonable to think it's not true. In every animal species, there is a percentage of individuals who never mate (probably mostly males...). Why should we think humans are any different?
    We're not.

    Although generally, if you do want to find a partner, it's more useful to believe you can find someone versus not believing... motivation-wise.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  3. #13
    girl with a pretty smile Honor's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nicolita View Post
    Interesting! I don't believe in soul mates. Just compatibility and commitment
    And apparently, this is the way to go as people who believe in soulmates are 150% more likely to get divorced.

    http://www.newser.com/story/100056/2...soulmates.html
    RobertCalifornia: TL thinks im black
    RobertCalifornia: shes my homegurl
    Hive: arent you
    SpankyMcfly: wait... you arent?

    thoughtlost: I am not really religious. I just like getting free stuff from churches.

  4. #14
    philosopher wood nymph greenfairy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    We're not.

    Although generally, if you do want to find a partner, it's more useful to believe you can find someone versus not believing... motivation-wise.
    True. And I think the idea of soul mates motivates people to think about what they want in a partner, and who is compatible with them, and choose better matches. It's also thought among people who believe in reincarnation that soul mates aren't necessarily together in every lifetime. While it is true that humans are social animals, and so the number of people in close relationships (whatever the nature of that is) would be higher than some other animals, that does not in any way guarantee that the vast majority will achieve the ideal.

  5. #15
    Entertaining Cracker five sounds's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Honor View Post
    And apparently, this is the way to go as people who believe in soulmates are 150% more likely to get divorced.

    http://www.newser.com/story/100056/2...soulmates.html
    Dang! Lol, Honor. I think you're probably a kickass journalist. I love all these sources you throw in so appropriately
    You hem me in -- behind and before;
    you have laid your hand upon me.
    Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
    too lofty for me to attain.

  6. #16
    girl with a pretty smile Honor's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nicolita View Post
    Dang! Lol, Honor. I think you're probably a kickass journalist. I love all these sources you throw in so appropriately
    Haha, it's such a habit because of my job
    RobertCalifornia: TL thinks im black
    RobertCalifornia: shes my homegurl
    Hive: arent you
    SpankyMcfly: wait... you arent?

    thoughtlost: I am not really religious. I just like getting free stuff from churches.

  7. #17
    Senior Member Pseudo's Avatar
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    @Salomé and @DiscoBiscuit, with their children @RaptorWizard and @Stigmata

    @greenfairy and @TheGreatone. Saw them eying eachother in another thread. They will begat ....,,,.,, stay tuned

  8. #18
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pseudo View Post
    @Salomé and @DiscoBiscuit, with their children @RaptorWizard and @Stigmata
    Okay. I'd watch that on TV.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  9. #19
    Senior Member Survive & Stay Free's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Honor View Post
    Any particular reason you feel this way? I worry about it sometimes too.
    I sort of feel resigned sometimes and at other times happy about it, probably when I'm alternating between extroversion and introversion, being single brings a hell of a lot of freedom along with it, being coupled up a lot of responsibility which its a kind of a gamble as to whether or not any of it will be reciprocated. Even of all the "good couples" I know there is always one of the two is supporting the other, I dont mean simply as a provider, I mean helping them in every possible way and there doesnt seem to be any kind of even or fair balancing out of parenting, household management etc.

    Then there's the possibility that one of the two is just a big kid or really needy and dependent and the other is parenting them and the kids, baring in mind I'm not talking about swings and roundabouts, one acting supportive to the other for a time and the other taking on that role at another time.

    Someone said to me once about if you could swap your problems for anyone elses you'd probably prefer your own, I think that's totally true most of the time and keep finding evidence to support the idea. If being alone, and occasionally lonely, is my problem then my problem is something I'm really alright about. There's been a few exceptions to this but they're exceptions rather than the rule.

  10. #20
    girl with a pretty smile Honor's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lark View Post
    I sort of feel resigned sometimes and at other times happy about it, probably when I'm alternating between extroversion and introversion, being single brings a hell of a lot of freedom along with it, being coupled up a lot of responsibility which its a kind of a gamble as to whether or not any of it will be reciprocated. Even of all the "good couples" I know there is always one of the two is supporting the other, I dont mean simply as a provider, I mean helping them in every possible way and there doesnt seem to be any kind of even or fair balancing out of parenting, household management etc.

    Then there's the possibility that one of the two is just a big kid or really needy and dependent and the other is parenting them and the kids, baring in mind I'm not talking about swings and roundabouts, one acting supportive to the other for a time and the other taking on that role at another time.

    Someone said to me once about if you could swap your problems for anyone elses you'd probably prefer your own, I think that's totally true most of the time and keep finding evidence to support the idea. If being alone, and occasionally lonely, is my problem then my problem is something I'm really alright about. There's been a few exceptions to this but they're exceptions rather than the rule.
    Hmm, I'm sorry that these have been your observations. I've seen a lot of what you describe, and I know what you mean - but I've seen marriages to the contrary. There are two couples that come to mind immediately that are very happy with each other, even though they've been married for a long time (8 years and 16 years respectively). When both people are decently emotionally intelligent, independent, comfortable in their own skin and they are each other's best friend, I think the gig can turn out well. I've definitely seen examples of people who've raised the quality of each other's lives for good.
    RobertCalifornia: TL thinks im black
    RobertCalifornia: shes my homegurl
    Hive: arent you
    SpankyMcfly: wait... you arent?

    thoughtlost: I am not really religious. I just like getting free stuff from churches.

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