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Thread: Mole the Troll

  1. #1
    & Badger, Ratty and Toad Mole's Avatar
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    Mole the Troll

    Mole trolls the Stoats -

    Presently the Mole came tumbling into the room, evidently very pleased with himself. `I've been having such fun!' he began at once; `I've been getting a rise out of the stoats!'`I hope you've been very careful, Mole?' said the Rat anxiously.
    `I should hope so, too,' said the Mole confidently. `I got the idea when I went into the kitchen, to see about Toad's breakfast being kept hot for him. I found that old washerwoman- dress that he came home in yesterday, hanging on a towel-horse before the fire. So I put it on, and the bonnet as well, and the shawl, and off I went to Toad Hall, as bold as you please. The sentries were on the look-out, of course, with their guns and their "Who comes there?" and all the rest of their nonsense. "Good morning, gentlemen!" says I, very respectful. "Want any washing done to-day?"
    `They looked at me very proud and stiff and haughty, and said, "Go away, washerwoman! We don't do any washing on duty." "Or any other time?" says I. Ho, ho, ho! Wasn't I FUNNY, Toad?'
    `Poor, frivolous animal!' said Toad, very loftily. The fact is, he felt exceedingly jealous of Mole for what he had just done. It was exactly what he would have liked to have done himself, if only he had thought of it first, and hadn't gone and overslept himself.
    `Some of the stoats turned quite pink,' continued the Mole, `and the Sergeant in charge, he said to me, very short, he said, "Now run away, my good woman, run away! Don't keep my men idling and talking on their posts." "Run away?" says I; "it won't be me that'll be running away, in a very short time from now!"'
    `O MOLY, how could you?' said the Rat, dismayed.
    The Badger laid down his paper.
    `I could see them pricking up their ears and looking at each other,' went on the Mole; `and the Sergeant said to them, "Never mind HER; she doesn't know what she's talking about."'
    `"O! don't I?"' said I. `"Well, let me tell you this. My daughter, she washes for Mr. Badger, and that'll show you whether I know what I'm talking about; and YOU'LL know pretty soon, too! A hundred bloodthirsty badgers, armed with rifles, are going to attack Toad Hall this very night, by way of the paddock. Six boatloads of Rats, with pistols and cutlasses, will come up the river and effect a landing in the garden; while a picked body of Toads, known at the Die-hards, or the Death-or-Glory Toads, will storm the orchard and carry everything before them, yelling for vengeance. There won't be much left of you to wash, by the time they've done with you, unless you clear out while you have the chance!" Then I ran away, and when I was out of sight I hid; and presently I came creeping back along the ditch and took a peep at them through the hedge. They were all as nervous and flustered as could be, running all ways at once, and falling over each other, and every one giving orders to everybody else and not listening; and the Sergeant kept sending off parties of stoats to distant parts of the grounds, and then sending other fellows to fetch 'em back again; and I heard them saying to each other, "That's just like the weasels; they're to stop comfortably in the banqueting-hall, and have feasting and toasts and songs and all sorts of fun, while we must stay on guard in the cold and the dark, and in the end be cut to pieces by bloodthirsty Badgers!'"
    `Oh, you silly ass, Mole!' cried Toad, `You've been and spoilt everything!'
    `Mole,' said the Badger, in his dry, quiet way, `I perceive you have more sense in your little finger than some other animals have in the whole of their fat bodies. You have managed excellently, and I begin to have great hopes of you. Good Mole! Clever Mole!'
    The Toad was simply wild with jealousy, more especially as he couldn't make out for the life of him what the Mole had done that was so particularly clever; but, fortunately for him, before he could show temper or expose himself to the Badger's sarcasm, the bell rang for luncheon.

  2. #2
    ndovjtjcaqidthi
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    Honestly, that's what I call a cool story bro. Such a riveting tale, I honestly copy and pasted it to word, saved on my hard drive, backed it up on a jump drive, drove to the bank, put the jump drive in the safe deposit box, and will leave it there until my kids turn about 12 (when they can actually state their age, and ask what it is I'm showing them), when I will pick it up, put it in an old USB drive reader and relay this cool story to them and tell them, "kids, this is what a cool story should look and sound like...not like the stories your generation tells."

  3. #3
    Senior Member Bamboo's Avatar
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    i don't get it.
    Don't know how much it'll bend til it breaks.

  4. #4
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
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    I'm going to have to read that.

    Edit: Or rather listen to it. I thought it might be on LibriVox for free because it's out of copyright and it is.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

  5. #5
    girl with a pretty smile Honor's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Saudade View Post
    Honestly, that's what I call a cool story bro. Such a riveting tale, I honestly copy and pasted it to word, saved on my hard drive, backed it up on a jump drive, drove to the bank, put the jump drive in the safe deposit box, and will leave it there until my kids turn about 12 (when they can actually state their age, and ask what it is I'm showing them), when I will pick it up, put it in an old USB drive reader and relay this cool story to them and tell them, "kids, this is what a cool story should look and sound like...not like the stories your generation tells."
    You have kids?!
    RobertCalifornia: TL thinks im black
    RobertCalifornia: shes my homegurl
    Hive: arent you
    SpankyMcfly: wait... you arent?

    thoughtlost: I am not really religious. I just like getting free stuff from churches.

  6. #6
    Senior Member Bamboo's Avatar
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    the mole tricked the stoats by saying the badgers and rats and toads were coming by dressing as a washerwoman, who when mole was threatened, it threatened back.

    this caused the stoats to fall into a frenzy of chaos trying to prepare for the invented invasion.

    the rat felt anxious.

    the toad felt jealous and didn't understand what was so great about this action.

    the badger approved of the mole's actions.



    i still don't get it.

    i suppose this means i'm the toad and i must admit i am a bit jealous.
    Don't know how much it'll bend til it breaks.

  7. #7
    & Badger, Ratty and Toad Mole's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bamboo View Post
    i still don't get it.
    There is also the humour, the characters themselves and pleasure in the words themselves.

  8. #8
    Senior Member Bamboo's Avatar
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    i suppose i enjoyed it, sure.
    Don't know how much it'll bend til it breaks.

  9. #9
    & Badger, Ratty and Toad Mole's Avatar
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    But Who, Bamboo?

    Quote Originally Posted by Bamboo View Post
    i suppose i enjoyed it, sure.
    So Bamboo, who do you identify with. Who are you most like? Badger, the Water Rat, Toad, Mole, Otter or little Portly?

    We know you are an FP and finding your star sign is not hard, but we don't yet know who you see yourself as in Wind in the Willows.

    I can't believe you are a Weasel or a Stoat, and certainly not a Rabbit. But who, Bamboo?

  10. #10
    Senior Member Bamboo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mole View Post
    So Bamboo, who do you identify with. Who are you most like? Badger, the Water Rat, Toad, Mole, Otter or little Portly?

    We know you are an FP and finding your star sign is not hard, but we don't yet know who you see yourself as in Wind in the Willows.

    I can't believe you are a Weasel or a Stoat, and certainly not a Rabbit. But who, Bamboo?
    I've never read it, I have no idea.

    I don't think I have the authority of Badger, but perhaps.

    I could see myself as a sentry. Why am I not a rabbit?
    Don't know how much it'll bend til it breaks.

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